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OLD help please. Guy told me he is bi, how to politely say I don't wish to continue?

(545 Posts)
LoveintheTimeofCoronaa Fri 20-Mar-20 11:41:51

Hi all,

Could do with some help please!

I've been chatting to a bloke online, seems nice. He has just informed me he is bisexual 'in case it puts me off'.

Not sure I can fully explain why, even to myself as I have zero issues with anybody's sexuality but I would prefer not to continue this. We haven't met but I do want to be decent and give him a response.

I'm not looking to be called a homophobe as I assure you I am not. Just want to be tactful.

How would you express this politely??


FlowerArranger Fri 20-Mar-20 11:44:22

This isn't difficult. "I don't think this will work for me - take care."

Sunshinedaffodil Fri 20-Mar-20 11:47:39

Stop worrying about how he will perceive you.

‘Thanks for being honest, maybe you should put it on your bio as it’s rather important. This won’t work for me - take care’

I’d actually be really annoyed to be honest he should have been upfront at the begging.

LoveintheTimeofCoronaa Fri 20-Mar-20 11:47:46

Thanks FlowerArranger that does feel pretty blunt though. I know we haven't met but he does seem nice and I feel deserves a bit of acknowledgement. Appreciate your reply though.

LoveintheTimeofCoronaa Fri 20-Mar-20 11:49:23

Cross post there! I didnt think of it like that

Sunshinedelight1287 Fri 20-Mar-20 11:57:07

You're not exactly being 'decent' by completely disregarding him because of this.

Clearly you're very narrow minded so reply saying you're exactly that and he deserve someone who can fully accept who he is.

edwinbear Fri 20-Mar-20 11:57:18

"Thanks for telling me, I wish you all the best but this would become a problem for me longer term so think it best we leave things here".

Curious78 Fri 20-Mar-20 11:58:36

Be up front with your feelings and explain how sorry you are but that you have a preference for straight men. That's all there is to it

WattsandAwl Fri 20-Mar-20 11:59:33

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nicketynac Fri 20-Mar-20 12:00:00

I think that there a lot of things in someone’s relationship or sexual history that can be off putting. For you, this is one of those things. Just because other people are fine with it (or claim to be) doesn’t mean that you have to be.

sunshinemachine Fri 20-Mar-20 12:00:13

just explain how u feel

pinkyredrose Fri 20-Mar-20 12:00:55

I have zero issues with anybody's sexuality that isn't true though is it.

Curious78 Fri 20-Mar-20 12:00:57

It's not narrow minded, it's about having a preference.

Curious78 Fri 20-Mar-20 12:01:33

Stop it with the homophobic comments!!!!

stairway Fri 20-Mar-20 12:02:15

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Curious78 Fri 20-Mar-20 12:02:29

Jesus christ, you people are horrible

Opaljewel Fri 20-Mar-20 12:02:39

You know people can have a sexual preference without being told they aren't a decent person? She never once said he wasn't a decent person did she?

The op is allowed her sexual preference. Mine is exactly the same as hers and I'm the biggest advocate for LGBT community. You don't get to decide someone isn't a nice person because they have a preference. Would you say this to the bi gentleman? Maybe he wouldn't sleep with a straight man? In this day and age I thought people would be allowed to all have their own sexual preferences but I guess not.

Op just be kind and let him down in a kind way. Don't have to be specific. Lots of things put people off as they get to know someone. But don't compromise on yourself. You wouldn't expect this man to. Just be respectful of his choices. Good luck.

Eesha Fri 20-Mar-20 12:02:42

Just say it's not your thing. My FWB is bisexual and I'm ok with it but we are casual.

GlitchStitch Fri 20-Mar-20 12:03:23

that isn't true though is it.

Don't be stupid. Of course you can have no problems with the sexuality of others without wanting to date/ sleep with them yourself.

Megan2018 Fri 20-Mar-20 12:03:35

@WattsandAwl that is not homophobia.

I don’t want to have sex with a bi man ot woman either. Everyone is allowed sexual preferences- only wanting sex with a straight person is not discriminatory.

sneeuw Fri 20-Mar-20 12:04:55

She can not want to date someone who is bi but not have a problem with them being bi. Just like she might not want to have a long distance relationship herself without it meaning she thinks anybody who has one is wrong.

Opaljewel Fri 20-Mar-20 12:05:20

Would any if you have problem sleeping with someone who is fat like me? If so that is your preference! I wouldn't start screaming you are body shaming because you won't sleep with me because I'm fat. How entitled is this thinking.

Abouttoblow Fri 20-Mar-20 12:05:40

Having a preference for straight men is not homophobic. Some of you really need to get a grip.

EauDeResistance Fri 20-Mar-20 12:06:02

The op isn't being homophobic. I wouldn't date a bisexual person either. We're all entitled to our sexual preferences. His and hers don't match. End of.

HermioneWeasley Fri 20-Mar-20 12:06:06

@stairway that’s really offensive. Bisexual people are attracted to men and women. It’s doesn’t mean they’re inherently promiscuous or mad for cock. Do you think straight people are only ever attracted to one person?

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