To not understand why people doubt male bisexuality?

[zenithfreedom]

Bisexuality is ironically stigmatized not just amongst some straight people but in LGBT circle. It's common for people to believe "bi woman are really just straight and bi men are just gay".

But when it comes to males and being attracted to both genders, many people doubt it. I recently thought about this as my workmate has a boyfriend who she was discussing is bi and she was a bit wary of that but accepted it. Most other girls said that he's deluding himself and it's only a matter of time before he starts shagging other guys/looking for them on Grindr.

I think that the reason why there are less bisexual men anecdotally and by statistics isn't because it's less common but rather the stigma.
In actual fact, I would have thought that bisexuality would be more common in males, the reason being is that men have a higher sex drive and are overrepresented in paraphilias and fetishes compared to women. So wouldn't men be more likely to have sex with their gender than women.

@SimonJT It'd be very impressive if you did to be fair! 😂😂😂😂 (I notice that pp has plopped and run after that particularly boggling remark!)

@Callmecleo sounds like he was just a cheater though? I mean if it was just about being fucked, he could have asked you to peg him, or masturbated with a dildo surely?

Interesting that you were both ultimately concerned with his ability to 'go without' but not yours - as you are also bi.

Some of this just comes down to the fact that it's very hard for bi and I'm going to say 'monosexual' people to understand each other.

I mean, I believe people when they say they're 100% straight or gay, but I can't pretend to understand it. If I'm totally honest, I do find myself coming up with all sorts of assumptions which I then have to tell myself off for.

Probably the same way that sexual people don't understand asexual people at all and they face all kinds of discriminatory attitudes - they must be repressed, its some kind of disorder etc.

I watched a documentary a decade or so ago - I think it was called The Truth About Sex - where people were hooked up to.machines and shown different types of porn. The findings apparently showed that most women were turned on by both gay and straight porn but most men tended to be turned on by just one type. Was quite interesting.
I do actually know a few men who claimed to be bi in an attempt to idk sort of socially transition? Then later came out as gay. Although actually now I think about it I know women who did that too. Interesting point about how people always assume that people who say they are bi are really just attracted to men. I never thought about it that way before.

I read that research Orange but I think it was also theorised that women are more likely to be used to being objectified in a passive way, and women's arousal was more about them seeing themselves in that position rather than being attracted to other women.

@TabbyStar

I read that research Orange but I think it was also theorised that women are more likely to be used to being objectified in a passive way, and women's arousal was more about them seeing themselves in that position rather than being attracted to other women.

Oh interesting!

I can’t comment on gay / bi women as I have knowingly met very, very few.

I know far more gay/bi men, as I have spent decades working in a very gay-friendly industry during which time I have met too many to remember or count.

In my experience, many men who describe themselves as ‘bi’ do so because they are not quite ready to publicly ‘out’ themselves as gay, particularly to their families. Almost invariably, these guys end up with male partners. I’m aware that this may be a case of confirmation bias, however. These guys work in an environment in which there are plenty of gay & straight men, but almost all the women are straight. Therefore there are plenty of potential male partners, but very few female ones.

"I know most (all) bi women do end up with men, though"

They don't. You don't see the ones who are part of the lesbian community like I do. Every bi woman I know is settled with a woman or (really) only interested in women.

People in straight circles will see the opposite but that's not the reality.

Not RTFT

I know bi men and women.

Not sure what the OP is on about tbh

There are men that can have a sexual relationship with a women for 30 odd years and them come out as 100 percent gay like Philip Scofield, it does make you wonder what Bi sexuality in men actually is.

it does make you wonder what Bi sexuality in men actually is

No it doesn’t @stairway it makes you wonder why people cheat on long-standing relationships.

When Tom Daly, British Diver, "came out" as a bisexual, everyone assumed it was just a spin on being gay, and they were right. He's totally gay and married to a man.

Bisexual means you like people of two (or more) genders.

If that was what it meant the word would be bigenderist.Or something .
Bisexual = both sexes,not that complicated...

@Daphnise

When Tom Daly, British Diver, "came out" as a bisexual, everyone assumed it was just a spin on being gay, and they were right. He's totally gay and married to a man.

So would he be totally straight if he had married a woman?

I think the coming out as gay thing is precisely because bisexuality is not understood/ accepted.

Also then there would be questions eg what about your wife and kids.

Saying I'm gay makes those tricky questions not happen.

Also can't people be genuinely confused? Some people honestly think they're straight and they're not. Some people honestly think they're gay and they're not. And some people honestly think they're bisexual and they're not.

Doesn't mean bisexuality isn't real.

@celandiney unless the 'sexual' part of that word describes 'being sexually orientated towards'

Homosexual= sexually orientated towards people that are the same (gender or sex)

Heterosexual = sexually orientated towards people that are different (gender or sex)

Bisexual = sexually orientated towards two types (of gender or both sexes)

I mean if you have a strong political/emotional motivation to feel that gender is meaningless you can choose sex to define these terms.

I personally am not interested in gender, to my rational mind it doesn't really exist, but it clearly matters to a lot of people and I'm not going to tell them they're wrong... race also doesn't exist but I don't go around telling people who identify as black or white or whatever that they're wrong either.

So you can take the term how you want I guess. Love that you think human sexuality or perhaps etymology isn't complicated though!!

Some of the bisexual men I know are happily married to women and others to men.

I find this thread a bit out of line although everyone's entitled to their opinion obv!

@SarahAndQuack while it’s possible to be unaware that you’re bisexual , it’s really impossible to think you’re bi and be actually straight unless you’re actively deluding yourself just to be ‘cool’.
If you’re not aroused at all by members of the opposite sex (binary etc is a different discussion) then you’re straight. If you are, but have a ‘preference’ (for example more likely to find more men attractive than a female) you are still bi.

It’s possible to have sex with people you’re not sexually attracted to. That doesn’t mean you magically become bi or straight. It’s similar to straight people having sex with people they’re not attracted to. Some people can, for others it’s impossible.

@Daphnise
I think you’re confusing Bisexual with non monogamous, of course when bisexual people settle down (if they choose to) it’s only going to be with one or the other, doesn’t mean their bisexuality vanishes. Are people only Bi for life if they’re in a poly relationship with a man and woman in your opinion?

@SolarDay

No comment except that a man I once dated confided in me a few weeks in that he was bisexual. Complete turn off.

I'm in no way homophobic, I'm just not attracted to men who also love giving/getting the D. Boak.

"Not homophobic", but think men "giving / getting the D" is "boak".

It doesn't add up does it.

Ikr like white women who are not racist but they have never ad will never find any black man attractive.

I mean, just try and unpick that!

@EpitomeofAnOldBattle

Ikr like white women who are not racist but they have never ad will never find any black man attractive.

I mean, just try and unpick that!

People are allowed to have preferences.

The problem is when they start stereotyping groups or making out that they're disgusting.

"I'm not attracted to bisexual people" - OK fine, it's your choice, there's probably subconscious prejudice in there and unless they told you you'd have absolutely no idea, but it's up to you.

"I'm not attracted to bisexual people because they're "boak" / unmanly / whatever" - not OK and straight up bigoted.

Apply it to other groups.

"I'm not attracted to black men" - OK, fine, your choice but in my personal opinion it seems silly to write off an entire race.

"I'm not attracted to black men because they're " - more than a little racist.

I’ve always said your preferences are fine whatever they are, but if you feel the need to announce to the world that you find Bi men ‘Boak’ you’re probably an arse