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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why people doubt male bisexuality?

216 replies

zenithfreedom · 04/06/2021 15:30

Bisexuality is ironically stigmatized not just amongst some straight people but in LGBT circle. It's common for people to believe "bi woman are really just straight and bi men are just gay".

But when it comes to males and being attracted to both genders, many people doubt it. I recently thought about this as my workmate has a boyfriend who she was discussing is bi and she was a bit wary of that but accepted it. Most other girls said that he's deluding himself and it's only a matter of time before he starts shagging other guys/looking for them on Grindr.

I think that the reason why there are less bisexual men anecdotally and by statistics isn't because it's less common but rather the stigma.
In actual fact, I would have thought that bisexuality would be more common in males, the reason being is that men have a higher sex drive and are overrepresented in paraphilias and fetishes compared to women. So wouldn't men be more likely to have sex with their gender than women.

OP posts:
TabbyStar · 13/06/2021 16:46

More gay women seem to mess more aggressively with men, have sexual contact with them but still staunchly claim to not be bisexual.

Messing more aggressively with men' is describing behaviour where gay women will encourage men and lead them on to expect a possible relationship, have sex then mock the men afterwards if they've assumed the sex was anything other than casual.

Well these are two of the most bizarre statements I've ever heard about lesbians.

TedMullins I tried arguing the same position on a very similar thread once and got the same response pretty much!

elgreco · 13/06/2021 17:32

If pansexual includes trans people and bisexual excludes them. Bisexual people are surely as phobic as straight people who exclude bi people?

By this logic unless you are pansexual you are a bigot.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 13/06/2021 20:21

Messing more aggressively with men' is describing behaviour where gay women will encourage men and lead them on to expect a possible relationship, have sex then mock the men afterwards if they've assumed the sex was anything other than casual.

Well your straw poll of exactly two women must mean all lesbians are like this 🙄 stop talking total and utter bollocks

I don't know many gay women but do know two that have behaved like this with several men

Gay women do not sleep with men. You do not know any gay women.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 13/06/2021 20:23

@elgreco

If pansexual includes trans people and bisexual excludes them. Bisexual people are surely as phobic as straight people who exclude bi people?

By this logic unless you are pansexual you are a bigot.

That's what I was thinking. Is anyone brave enough to say bisexual people are transphobes for not sleeping with trans people? Or is that insult exclusively reserved for lesbians?
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 13/06/2021 20:24

Also @PandemicAtTheDisco where did you get the Intel on the gay women messing with men" from? Did the gay women say specifically to you "I sleep with men to punish them and I laugh at them afterwards", in those words, or did somebody else?

ZednotZee · 13/06/2021 21:23

And for the latest goings on in from the shitshow that is 2021...preference and prejudice are now synonyms.

PandemicAtTheDisco · 13/06/2021 22:25

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Messing more aggressively with men' is describing behaviour where gay women will encourage men and lead them on to expect a possible relationship, have sex then mock the men afterwards if they've assumed the sex was anything other than casual.

Well your straw poll of exactly two women must mean all lesbians are like this 🙄 stop talking total and utter bollocks

I don't know many gay women but do know two that have behaved like this with several men

Gay women do not sleep with men. You do not know any gay women.

Gay women do not sleep with men. You do not know any gay women.

I know several gay woman but these two are gay women that sleep with men. The point is - they say they are gay not bisexual. To me this seems like the men that have sex with other men yet claim to be straight.

PandemicAtTheDisco · 13/06/2021 22:35

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Also *@PandemicAtTheDisco* where did you get the Intel on the gay women messing with men" from? Did the gay women say specifically to you "I sleep with men to punish them and I laugh at them afterwards", in those words, or did somebody else?
I know the two woman but not very well admittedly. I don't know why they are behaving this way.

See IME some of the most misogynistic men I've met are gay, the ones I know despise women and are open about the female body repulsing them.

Earlier you mention the gay misogynistic men that act as if they despise women. To me this seems similar how the two women are behaving but they still have sex with them.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 13/06/2021 22:40

Gay women do not have sex with men.

Not are gay women a hive mind who "mess with men physically" or whatever you claimed.

I know the two woman but not very well admittedly. I don't know why they are behaving this way.

So you know two bisexual women, not very well at all, and seem to k ow their motives and mindset when sleeping with men and have decided that "many" lesbians sleep with men to laugh at them.

You are taking the piss, no?

Oh and you probably "don't know why they're behaving this way" because you don't even know them or anything about them. HTH

IntothePitt · 09/08/2021 17:41

@cookiecreampie

I think gay male sex is more extreme than 2 females together. So if a man likes dick, he's unlikely to settle for a woman. Same for women, I think most bisexual women settle with men. In my opinion.
This is why people are still scared to come out.
IntothePitt · 09/08/2021 17:48

SolarDay

No comment except that a man I once dated confided in me a few weeks in that he was bisexual. Complete turn off.

I'm in no way homophobic, I'm just not attracted to men who also love giving/getting the D. Boak."

And this.

suspiria777 · 09/08/2021 17:49

@workshy44

I wouldn't go out with a guy that was BI because every guy I have known that was ended up with men in the end I do believe in male bisexualty , I just personally wouldn't want to take the risk
Probably because all the other women these bi men dated had the same attitude as you.
Eggfriedpower · 10/08/2021 12:45

Exactly. If there are women who openly describe bisexual men as boak, I'm not surprised those men are wary.

sailmeaway · 10/08/2021 13:25

Gay women in my experience, do give bi women a hard time, or judge them whereas my gay male friends are quite happy to shag a bi bloke.

Spaceprincess · 10/08/2021 13:27

I'm bi and my male ex was bi.
I was often asked if I thought he'd cheat on me with a man, or if when we were in bed he'd be wishing I was a man....

Acarp · 10/08/2021 16:41

@Spaceprincess

I'm bi and my male ex was bi. I was often asked if I thought he'd cheat on me with a man, or if when we were in bed he'd be wishing I was a man....
Ignorance knows no bounds.
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