To not understand why people doubt male bisexuality?

[zenithfreedom]

Bisexuality is ironically stigmatized not just amongst some straight people but in LGBT circle. It's common for people to believe "bi woman are really just straight and bi men are just gay".

But when it comes to males and being attracted to both genders, many people doubt it. I recently thought about this as my workmate has a boyfriend who she was discussing is bi and she was a bit wary of that but accepted it. Most other girls said that he's deluding himself and it's only a matter of time before he starts shagging other guys/looking for them on Grindr.

I think that the reason why there are less bisexual men anecdotally and by statistics isn't because it's less common but rather the stigma.
In actual fact, I would have thought that bisexuality would be more common in males, the reason being is that men have a higher sex drive and are overrepresented in paraphilias and fetishes compared to women. So wouldn't men be more likely to have sex with their gender than women.

@SolarDay

5. As for a woman choosing not to have a relationship with a bi male, l assume that is her choice. Maybe the reasoning is often not very robust though.

How about "no"... "no, I am not attracted to bisexual men". No is a complete answer, no on it's own is more than robust, no without having to explain yourself. No, no, no.

How about you respect other people's boundaries?

Omg. Nobody is trying to erode anyone’s boundaries or make them date bisexual men when they don’t want to. This is always the straw man that comes up in response to people prickling at having their prejudice called out for what it is. Date whoever you want, don’t date whoever you don’t want. But at least admit that some of your preferences are formed from prejudice. If you didn’t think bisexual men were ‘a problem’ of some sort, why would you find it a turn off? After all, most men you date will have slept with women before. Why is the fact he’s slept with men any different? It really shouldn’t matter. Everyone has exes. The fact it matters to you is the literal definition of prejudice. But it’s also your right to decide who you do and don’t want to sleep with, so please, continue as you are - just maybe analyse your reasons a bit. Everyone has ingrained prejudices, it’s silly to pretend you don’t.

So if bisexual people identity as bisexual Tate then than Pansexual is that transphobic?

*rather not Tate

I wouldn't date a Bi man. The whole idea puts me off massively. Add to that, that would mean he has a like of something I can never give. Also, a Bisexual man would, (I think), be drawn more have more casual sex with men, because it would be so much easier to get.

Omg. Nobody is trying to erode anyone’s boundaries or make them date bisexual men when they don’t want to. This is always the straw man that comes up in response to people prickling at having their prejudice called out for what it is. Date whoever you want, don’t date whoever you don’t want. But at least admit that some of your preferences are formed from prejudice. If you didn’t think bisexual men were ‘a problem’ of some sort, why would you find it a turn off? After all, most men you date will have slept with women before. Why is the fact he’s slept with men any different? It really shouldn’t matter. Everyone has exes. The fact it matters to you is the literal definition of prejudice. But it’s also your right to decide who you do and don’t want to sleep with, so please, continue as you are - just maybe analyse your reasons a bit. Everyone has ingrained prejudices, it’s silly to pretend you don’t

It isn't prejudice, it's a woman's right to choose. And you could lend your argument to anything.

"So what if he's had sex with prostitutes? Why would that put you off? How very prejudiced of you"

Just because you don't mind, doesn't mean you get to call people names if they don't feel the same.

@Bluedeblue

I wouldn't date a Bi man. The whole idea puts me off massively. Add to that, that would mean he has a like of something I can never give. Also, a Bisexual man would, (I think), be drawn more have more casual sex with men, because it would be so much easier to get.

More casual biphobia. No surprise.

Can women really not retain the rights to not sleep with people they don't want without being called names about it? It's shockingly regressive?

I find it bizarre both don't end up with women more to be honest!

I've lived in a house shares with both and the ones that were just girls was so much easier. But the men said they preferred living in a mixed household to just with men.

Nothing to do with sexual attraction though — at one point I was in a two bed flat and went from sharing with a girl to sharing with a gay man (both good friends). He'd previously lived with another gay man, but they weren't in a relationship. He much preferred living with me, and while we got on well, I found it much harder living with a man. I think knowing he could physically overpower me (not that he would) etc made it feel slightly less comfortable.

(And I'm straight — but until I was completely sure and trusting in a relationship, I'd choose living in a flat share with girls over living with a male DP!)

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Can women really not retain the rights to not sleep with people they don't want without being called names about it? It's shockingly regressive?

Of course they can, as can men - but others retain the right to think it’s just a little bit homophobic to say bi men make you ‘boak’ (not to mention childish).

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Can women really not retain the rights to not sleep with people they don't want without being called names about it? It's shockingly regressive?

Yes. And I retain the right to call someone who thinks bisexual men are more promiscuous biphobic.

@StillCoughingandLaughing but being accused of homophobia is a pretty loaded accusation, one that shouldn't just be bandied about. If you are making an accusation that is enough for someone to be breaking the law, you have to back it up pretty well. "Not fucking a bisexual man" is not enough to justify this kind of accusation. No one should be attacked for their preferences

[quote FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]@StillCoughingandLaughing but being accused of homophobia is a pretty loaded accusation, one that shouldn't just be bandied about. If you are making an accusation that is enough for someone to be breaking the law, you have to back it up pretty well. "Not fucking a bisexual man" is not enough to justify this kind of accusation. No one should be attacked for their preferences [/quote]
For the millionth time, fuck whoever you want and reject whoever you want. Why can’t you just admit though that this particular preference is a prejudice? It’s not comparable to a man having slept with prostitutes - for a start, sexuality isn’t a choice, but using sex workers is. What’s so difficult about just holding your hands up and admitting that this particular preference is problematic? I’m sure I’ve got problematic feelings and opinions too. I’ve definitely made judgements or had gut reactions because of ingrained prejudice. Acknowledging that doesn’t mean I’m being coerced into changing how I feel. I genuinely don’t get the total inability to engage in a bit of self analysis.

The most comparable thing would be saying I would want to date or sleep with a fat person. I wouldn’t, I don’t find them attractive and I also would assume they’re lazy and gluttonous. I also acknowledge that’s prejudiced and fatphobic.

Men will have penetrative sex with other men or get BJs from other men yet consider themselves completely heterosexual. They might watch porn together and jerk off together. I don't think heterosexual women do this with other women although they might practise kissing. It makes me think men just need stimulation and are less bothered by actual gender.

Gay men can be flirty and very affectionate with female friends but generally not sexually. More gay women seem to mess more aggressively with men, have sexual contact with them but still staunchly claim to not be bisexual.

The very few people I know that identify themselves as bisexual seem to be much more comfortable in their sexuality and better in bed - maybe because they are more emotionally involved and confident in themselves.

@TedMullins I'm not actually one who's objected to dating a bisexual man. I don't have strong feelings about that either way as I'm basically celibate by choice. But WHY do you feel the need to put a label on people who don't? If you're all "date who you want no one is saying you can't" and presumably have no problem with that - why are you so passionate about tarring everyone with that preference with a pretty loaded and damaging brush?

Gay men can be flirty and very affectionate with female friends but generally not sexually. More gay women seem to mess more aggressively with men, have sexual contact with them but still staunchly claim to not be bisexual.

See IME some of the most misogynistic men I've met are gay, the ones I know despise women and are open about the female body repulsing them.

What does "mess more aggressively with men" mean? I've never seen a woman, gay or otherwise, be sexually aggressive with a man outside of TV and movies

[quote FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop]@TedMullins I'm not actually one who's objected to dating a bisexual man. I don't have strong feelings about that either way as I'm basically celibate by choice. But WHY do you feel the need to put a label on people who don't? If you're all "date who you want no one is saying you can't" and presumably have no problem with that - why are you so passionate about tarring everyone with that preference with a pretty loaded and damaging brush?[/quote]
People should have the insight to admit they’re prejudiced. There is not a person walking this earth who is completely without prejudice. It really is as simple as that. If someone finds a man having a sexual history with another man, or simply being attracted to other men, enough of a problem not to date them, that is a prejudice! That can be true at the same time as them having the absolute right to choose who to date.

People should have the insight to admit they’re prejudiced. There is not a person walking this earth who is completely without prejudice. It really is as simple as that. If someone finds a man having a sexual history with another man, or simply being attracted to other men, enough of a problem not to date them, that is a prejudice! That can be true at the same time as them having the absolute right to choose who to date.

That's not what I asked. I asked why it's so important that you need to label and vilify people? If ALL people are prejudiced - and you're probably right - then why is this particular subject one that needs people to feel bad/be vilified etc above any other? Women not sleeping with bisexual men is not inherently damaging to bisexual men - unless you think being unable to get sex from every woman ever is damaging?

Men will have penetrative sex with other men or get BJs from other men yet consider themselves completely heterosexual. They might watch porn together and jerk off together

Yes, I'm sure straight men do this all the time. Just when you thought your DH was out with Dave for a pint, and it turns out they've been jerking each other off in the alley, even though they are definitely 100% heterosexual.

How does anyone think this way? Who on earth are you hanging around with?

@Bluedeblue

Men will have penetrative sex with other men or get BJs from other men yet consider themselves completely heterosexual. They might watch porn together and jerk off together

Yes, I'm sure straight men do this all the time. Just when you thought your DH was out with Dave for a pint, and it turns out they've been jerking each other off in the alley, even though they are definitely 100% heterosexual.

How does anyone think this way? Who on earth are you hanging around with?

🤣🤣

That PP wasn't wrong however @Bluedeblue in that many bisexual men will describe themselves as heterosexual. The NHS use language of "men who have sex with men" in order not to alienate these people. Because internalised Homophobia.

@Bluedeblue

Men will have penetrative sex with other men or get BJs from other men yet consider themselves completely heterosexual. They might watch porn together and jerk off together

Yes, I'm sure straight men do this all the time. Just when you thought your DH was out with Dave for a pint, and it turns out they've been jerking each other off in the alley, even though they are definitely 100% heterosexual.

How does anyone think this way? Who on earth are you hanging around with?

😂

This has made my day

I think the homophobia word is thrown around far too often these days, it’s lost all meaning. I’m a gay woman, however was once married to a man.
If I was single, I would happily date another woman who had previously been with men, but I wouldn’t date a bisexual woman because I find attraction to males a huge turn off. People should be free to date whoever they like for whatever reason they like.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

People should have the insight to admit they’re prejudiced. There is not a person walking this earth who is completely without prejudice. It really is as simple as that. If someone finds a man having a sexual history with another man, or simply being attracted to other men, enough of a problem not to date them, that is a prejudice! That can be true at the same time as them having the absolute right to choose who to date.

That's not what I asked. I asked why it's so important that you need to label and vilify people? If ALL people are prejudiced - and you're probably right - then why is this particular subject one that needs people to feel bad/be vilified etc above any other? Women not sleeping with bisexual men is not inherently damaging to bisexual men - unless you think being unable to get sex from every woman ever is damaging?

Of course it isn’t. Nobody is entitled to sex with anyone. But the way it’s casually talked about such as on this thread perpetrates harmful assumptions about bisexual men. There’s ways and means of saying it - “id like the people I date to share my sexuality” okay. “I wouldn’t date a bisexual man because it’s boak/a turn off/he’d cheat on me” - not okay. Calling someone prejudiced isn’t vilifying them! If they’ve said something demonstrably prejudiced then it’s just telling the truth. It reminds me of white people who are more concerned with being called racist than the fact racism is happening and affecting people.

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

Gay men can be flirty and very affectionate with female friends but generally not sexually. More gay women seem to mess more aggressively with men, have sexual contact with them but still staunchly claim to not be bisexual.

See IME some of the most misogynistic men I've met are gay, the ones I know despise women and are open about the female body repulsing them.

What does "mess more aggressively with men" mean? I've never seen a woman, gay or otherwise, be sexually aggressive with a man outside of TV and movies

I'm thinking about bisexuality not about people that are strictly heterosexual or hosexual.

Messing more aggressively with men' is describing behaviour where gay women will encourage men and lead them on to expect a possible relationship, have sex then mock the men afterwards if they've assumed the sex was anything other than casual.

I don't know many gay women but do know two that have behaved like this with several men. It appears to me as if they are actively trying to punish/hurt them. They have a largish mixed group of mainly school friends - and it is some of the males in the group that they were never particularly good friends with - that they have done this with.

I'm an outsider to the group so maybe I'm missing some of the background.

Do women send dick pics to female friends to wank over?

Men constantly share wank pics with each other.