I’m so fed up with school runs

[Anon6545]

I feel drained and exhausted. I only do school runs 2 days a week as I work part time. I wish I didn’t feel like this. Just lining up waiting to go in and chatting to other mums just drains me. I feel really down on my days off and I don’t want to waste it. Mornings are okay as everyone rushing to get to work but pick up is the worst. I have no family to help out and husband doesn’t finish work in time for pick ups so I’m on my own.

I blame myself for being so friendly in beginning. I had more energy when my child had just started nursery in the school but 3 years later I have zero energy I feel less able to smile and have chats about nothing. I have a full on job 3 days a week and younger children at home.

I don’t know why they bug me so much. I would love to just pick my child up and go home. I have so much in my mind I find it exhausting talking. Take today for example I was walking to the school and a mum walks with me and starts non stop chatting, I was finding it so difficult keeping up. I asked her what time she finishes work she replied “x time” then said “but I told you that last week too”, like I don’t remember any conversations I have with them!

Then at line up another one starts chatting and moaning about the parking situation. I really tried to look interested and the conversation lasted probably 3/4 mins but was torture for me as I felt her energy just zapping all of mine. I just walked quickly and said sorry I have to run and bye.

I don’t know why I feel this way. I wish I didn’t. I hate doing school runs.

Does anyone enjoy the school run??!! I find it painful; pick up anyway. And then on the days where I don't drive I have to walk back and have weird small talk chat with the other parents going in the same direction. And they're always talking non stop and complaining about everything under the sun. I hate it.

I'm with you, my memory for small talk is non-existent so I always forget what people say and get embarrassed when I've asked something I should have known the answer too, or repeat myself. The women at my kids school have memories like elephants!
The school pick up just feels very, very awkward

Husband doesn’t understand why I feel like this. He notices I’m really “depressed” on Tuesdays in particular. I hate feeling like this. I have the kind of personality where I can’t just snap out of a mood. All the mums who do have conversations with me are never just “breezy” how are you type conversations but really draining moaning about something. Is there something mentally wrong with me? I’m sure this is not normal to be so affected by others.

At least you only do it 2 days a week! Lucky you! I do it 5 days a week every week of school as a single parent. I don’t think anyone enjoys the school run

I avoid it as much as possible and do it v rarely! My CM does a lot it for me which is great.

Covid has actually made it less tricky because we're made to stand apart and arrive at staggered times and no chatting allowed. I think most people are relieved!

I get in as late as possible, stand as far away from everyone as possible, and stare at my phone

Nope, not just you, bloody awful, might as well be walking into a playground packed with dementors for all the joy it gives.

I think its a combo of face masks inhibiting barely intrested conversation, and general fun spongeness of kids having to line up with no running in the playground.

It's a bit of a dramatic reaction for a 3 minute conversation tbh

This is going to be a bit harsh but it’s two days a week doing something mildly irritating, I think you need to suck it up.

It doesn't last forever and the more genuine you are, the easier. Don't put a brave/interested face on if the truth is you're not feeling amazing, or don't feel talkative. Treat other people how you would like to be treated yourself - just be polite and honest.

I really like the school run! Obvs must be a bit strange. And i do 15 a week as do lunchtime pick up of preschool. Easier now covid means staggered times and less chat, so only talk to the people i want to. Prob ably helps i have a nice walk rather than busy drive.

Makes me wonder if the people i chat to secretly hate seeing me...

That’s a very strange reaction to making small talk for a few minutes twice a week.

They're awful - I've never been in the group with queen bee (suits me ) but have found a couple of mums to be with in each year. Stand next to someone enough times, you'll get talking. I started school runs with eldest in 92 and I've still got 3 years to go 🙈

It sounds like you're struggling right now so everything is more tiring. Not sure what the answer is. But perhaps try to increase your self care?

I'm guessing it must be a small school. At my DD's 5 form entry school it is so busy at drop off and pick up I rarely see anyone I know and would be easy enough to 'hide' from anyone you do know if you wanted!

It's literally twice a week - you don't need someone to help you do it for two days just because you don't like it. I'm pretty sure most don't like it! Just one of those things to get on with.

I used to do them 5 days a week until my youngest DD left primary school.

They were OK, but became a bit of a chore an I felt like celebrating when I no longer had to do them.

Tbh I'm very close to the final school run with my youngest after 14 years at the school with both my children and honestly I can't say I've chatted with anyone other than small talk. I swoop in at the last moment (even easier since covid as they give everyone a window instead of one pick up time so I go at the end of the window and keep out of everyone's way). I'm not anti social I'm usually full of smiles and hellos but I'm not there to make friends so small talk usually suffices.

You'd hate my school run, I have to wait around for ages at the moment because my DC finish at different times!

I do like chatting with other parents while I wait though. I have wfh for over a year now and it's my only face to face conversation.

Stop thinking of yourself.
Get out of your own head.
Drop the ego.
You're an adult, you should be able to control your mood in an appropriate manner.
If other people disgrace you so much then you need to look within to understand why.
Don't look out at them. Look at yourself
Keep asking yourself why?
Break it down.
The answer will come.

@Anoisagusaris and @Shitfuckcommaetc - honestly, it is amazing how much shit a stranger can dump on you in 3 mins, particularly if you're a sympathetic sort.

Where headphones, listen to a podcast and avoid eye contact!
I feel the same honestly so you have my sympathy.

I love the school run as a chance to catch up with my DC away from home, when there is always something that needs doing.
Must admit though that the other parents do not even register on my horizon. I'm there to collect my DC, not make small talk with randomers.

Op , before you know it, these days will flash past and before you know it you’ll have teenagers who don’t need you to take them. Enjoy it while you can. I miss those days .

Go in a bit later, wait to the side until the kids come out, nose in phone, go right at the front, wave at your kid ,take them home.

Works for me.