I’m so fed up with school runs

[Anon6545]

I feel drained and exhausted. I only do school runs 2 days a week as I work part time. I wish I didn’t feel like this. Just lining up waiting to go in and chatting to other mums just drains me. I feel really down on my days off and I don’t want to waste it. Mornings are okay as everyone rushing to get to work but pick up is the worst. I have no family to help out and husband doesn’t finish work in time for pick ups so I’m on my own.

I blame myself for being so friendly in beginning. I had more energy when my child had just started nursery in the school but 3 years later I have zero energy I feel less able to smile and have chats about nothing. I have a full on job 3 days a week and younger children at home.

I don’t know why they bug me so much. I would love to just pick my child up and go home. I have so much in my mind I find it exhausting talking. Take today for example I was walking to the school and a mum walks with me and starts non stop chatting, I was finding it so difficult keeping up. I asked her what time she finishes work she replied “x time” then said “but I told you that last week too”, like I don’t remember any conversations I have with them!

Then at line up another one starts chatting and moaning about the parking situation. I really tried to look interested and the conversation lasted probably 3/4 mins but was torture for me as I felt her energy just zapping all of mine. I just walked quickly and said sorry I have to run and bye.

I don’t know why I feel this way. I wish I didn’t. I hate doing school runs.

@pastaparadise I feel the same as you! I like it and wonder now if I just irritate people

@stokey kids are 6, 3 and 1

The school run is hard to get right
I tend to arrive later (wait in the car until I see the last few leaving so I am not late late)
The whole PTA drama etc isn't for me at all
Iike talking to older persons / grandparents so I make an effort with them if I arrive early.

I hate it too OP. I don't know why though. I like people and I like chatting with my neighbours and colleagues. I just find local parents a bit much (my problem not theirs obviously). I think maybe the answer is as PPs have said. Rush in and out at last minute and minimise. Could pretend to
be on a phone call even?

@user1473878824 this is really interesting, I just googled adhd in adults only read the first half but it’s so strange I have those symptoms!

(Copied from NHS website) ... Becoming easily distracted by low-priority activities or external events that others tend to ignore.
Having so many simultaneous thoughts that it’s difficult to follow just one.
Difficulty paying attention or focusing, such as when reading or listening to others.
Frequently daydreaming or “zoning out” without realizing it, even in the middle of a conversation.
Struggling to complete tasks, even ones that seem simple.
A tendency to overlook details, leading to errors or incomplete work.
Poor listening skills; for example, having a hard time remembering conversations and following

School runs don’t last forever. You’ll get there and then miss the-or maybe not!

@getyourfreakon

I walk 6 miles a day, 5 days a week in all weathers doing the school run. Taxi to school costs me £25 a week because it's too far to walk. I'm sick of replacing my shoes due to wearing them out. I don't have the added issue of other school mums because I'm not there for them. I get in and out. Don't get me wrong, I'm always ready with a smile (under the mask) and fine with small talk but I'm generally ignored. I wear earphones for pick up. I'm sick of the scho

where on earth do you buy your shoes?

I am weirdly attached to my trainers, so when they are (allegedly) too old for actual proper running, I wear them for everyday walks etc.. I have them for YEARS, they don't wear out and I do miles.

The worse are the clique groups of mums that never admit their kids are horrible , they all talk shit about the other mums, fall over themselves if a dad is on pick up. So glad it’s over

I only do 2 days a week of school runs too and I’m dreading this increasing in September

School run is the worst. I stare at the floor or the sky and pretend there’s no one else around

Yep not my favourite activity either.

Oh fgs. Most people are just nice enough, normal people trying to get on with their lives. There’s not some big school mum conspiracy of cliques and bitching. Their ‘moaning’ is probably just them trying to make polite conversation about something you can relate to, having a bit of a laugh about the terrible traffic, or the fact it always rains at school pickup time, or the eleventy billion text messages from school that week. Just say hi to people, be polite and talk to the ones you like, and stop thinking everyone is out to get you or deliberately exclude you.

@Flibbitygibbit

Op , before you know it, these days will flash past and before you know it you’ll have teenagers who don’t need you to take them. Enjoy it while you can. I miss those days .

Exactly this! I’ve only got two years to go and I know I’ll miss it.

OP you seem to be really affected by other people's 'energy' in a quite extreme way. Just wear headphones and fiddle with your phone and people will leave you alone. If someone tries walking with you and you don't want them too, then fake a phone call or something.

OP you really have annoyed me. Stop chatting to everybody and then slagging them off like this. There was a post here not long ago about a mum trying to make friends with school mums and not having much luck. If you cannot be bothered, then listen to a podcast or swipe your phone, but stop this horrible attitude to people who are just trying to be nice.

I don’t like them either but for different reasons. Their school is 1.6 miles away and I have to walk it so it’s 3.2 miles there and back, often in the pissing down rain and with a double buggy. We also live at the top of a hill so that’s always a shit walk back. I don’t talk to school Mum’s, never have done so that side of things doesn’t bother me but I don’t enjoy it. Genuinely can’t wait until they’re all in secondary school getting the bus home. Eldest is going in September, other 2 will follow next year and the year after. Hallelujah.

I'm with you I also hate it and I have the whole school left as mine is only in nursery 😭

This will be unpopular I expect, but I work in a school and I’m on the playground every morning during drop off: I think you should try and make a small amount of chat with other parents (not be life long friends, just normal small talk), as a good role model to your own child. Being able to pass the time of day in a friendly manner with another person is a really important life skill. It’s noticeable that some children find this hard to do and it does limit them as they get older, in terms of heir own self confidence. And personally I think wearing headphones or staring at at your phone in a social situation looks rude and a bit teenagery.

wearing headphones or staring at at your phone in a social situation looks rude and a bit teenagery.

I wouldn't call the school run a "social situation" any more than waiting for a train is.

I stare at my phone because I have work to do! I could be on MN if I wanted to, who cares. Howerver, I am not antisocial and weirdly hating other "parents" because their kids happen to go to the same school.

@chicfennel, I think it is a social situation though, and one that your child is seeing you in. It’s not the same as waiting for a train. I agree that making small talk is a bit of a drag on occasions, but I think it does impact on children positively to see and hear their parents doing it.

Earphones are your friend here.
And don’t give eye contact 😜

All the school parents at my child’s school wear juicy tracksuits

I really don’t fit in with people who wear leisurewear for day wear

@Anon6545

Husband doesn’t understand why I feel like this. He notices I’m really “depressed” on Tuesdays in particular. I hate feeling like this. I have the kind of personality where I can’t just snap out of a mood. All the mums who do have conversations with me are never just “breezy” how are you type conversations but really draining moaning about something. Is there something mentally wrong with me? I’m sure this is not normal to be so affected by others.

I wish I could offer some useful advice... but I can say that you sound pretty normal to me!

The school run is a chore but why are you moaning? You do it '2' days a week, oh dear what a shame !!! Try 5 days a bloody week!

*The fact I notice it doesn’t mean I’m stalking.

Perfectly fine to say ‘overreaction’, it’s the ‘I-have-it-worse’ that is getting a bit hmm*

Maybe stop watching me so hard as I don’t even recognise your user name, looks like it’s not just me saying it’s only 2 days and could be worse! You’ve decided to pick my comment out of everyone’s because you’ve clearly been monitoring me too much got nothing better to do?😂

There was a thread the other day from a mum saying no one spoke to her on the school run. Now this thread saying parents are being too chatty. I wonder what the perfect balance of school run chattiness is 😂