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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’m so fed up with school runs

210 replies

Anon6545 · 25/05/2021 21:20

I feel drained and exhausted. I only do school runs 2 days a week as I work part time. I wish I didn’t feel like this. Just lining up waiting to go in and chatting to other mums just drains me. I feel really down on my days off and I don’t want to waste it. Mornings are okay as everyone rushing to get to work but pick up is the worst. I have no family to help out and husband doesn’t finish work in time for pick ups so I’m on my own.

I blame myself for being so friendly in beginning. I had more energy when my child had just started nursery in the school but 3 years later I have zero energy I feel less able to smile and have chats about nothing. I have a full on job 3 days a week and younger children at home.

I don’t know why they bug me so much. I would love to just pick my child up and go home. I have so much in my mind I find it exhausting talking. Take today for example I was walking to the school and a mum walks with me and starts non stop chatting, I was finding it so difficult keeping up. I asked her what time she finishes work she replied “x time” then said “but I told you that last week too”, like I don’t remember any conversations I have with them!

Then at line up another one starts chatting and moaning about the parking situation. I really tried to look interested and the conversation lasted probably 3/4 mins but was torture for me as I felt her energy just zapping all of mine. I just walked quickly and said sorry I have to run and bye.

I don’t know why I feel this way. I wish I didn’t. I hate doing school runs.

OP posts:
Rave2thegrave · 26/05/2021 07:45

@Oneweekleft

All your thinking is about yourself and how you feel. Why dont you flip your thinking and think "how can i serve others?" "Who can i be kind to on the school run". Focus on making other peoples school run nicer and forget about yourself. I think its a shame your dh has noticed your mood changed too. It all seems like you've put your feelings on a pedestal and are being quite inconsiderate of others tbh. You should be grateful your children go to school and people to talk to and a dh.
Alright Karen get back in your box
Jjlrb47922 · 26/05/2021 07:46

Can you hang back to miss most of them?

I'm a sahm and I'm alone nearly all of the time because my kids are in school. Alot of the mums at my kids school are too. The school run is sometimes the only other adults I get to speak to during a full day. Over the years I've built friendships at the gate but I talk to most people if they talk to me. My kid leaves school next year and I am really going to miss the school run chats, I am going to be even more lonely than I am now. Perhaps that's how the other ladies feel

Oblomov21 · 26/05/2021 07:48

I think your attitude is very odd. Please talk to your GP. You need help and support.

If you are that zapped by social interaction stand at the sidelines and use your phone.

Rave2thegrave · 26/05/2021 07:59

@Oblomov21

I think your attitude is very odd. Please talk to your GP. You need help and support.

If you are that zapped by social interaction stand at the sidelines and use your phone.

Are you talking to the OP? Why the hell does she need to see her GP?Confused
Needanewhat · 26/05/2021 08:01

One of the many advantages of home ed is no school runs!!!

MrsBunHat · 26/05/2021 08:54

Why don't you flip your thinking and think "how can i serve others?"

Most women do plenty of serving others. I work hard to provide for my kids, do mostly housework and parenting the rest of the time, and help my neighbours when needed. And I'm not even looking after elderly parents or trying to have a relationship/servicing a selfish man as many women are.

So now other people's needs on the school run are for me to serve as well?

I absolutely would help anyone who needed help or looked lost or upset. But I don't have to chat to people as a "service".

Threewheeler1 · 26/05/2021 09:11

I get this op.
Did 2 different schools with the kids for a quite a few years every day 4 times a day and it was a bit draining.
When the last one finished in year 6 I was practically delirious with excitement about not having to do the school runs any more.
I think lots of us feel like this, don't be hard on yourself!

Volhhg · 26/05/2021 09:39

@joystir59

Why are you all taking children to school for years and years? When I was nine I walked to school by myself. When I went to senior school at eleven I caught a bus for the five mile journey across town.
Because most schools say an adult has to take and pick the kids up until year 5. Is there no rule like this at your child's school?
Volhhg · 26/05/2021 09:42

@Oblomov21

I think your attitude is very odd. Please talk to your GP. You need help and support.

If you are that zapped by social interaction stand at the sidelines and use your phone.

She has a one year old baby and two kids, presumably she doesn't even have a spare hand to stand looking at her phone
qualitygirl · 26/05/2021 09:48

She has a one year old baby and two kids, presumably she doesn't even have a spare hand to stand looking at her phone

@Volhhg yes so I'm thinking there's worse things in life than a school run and OP is actually blowing it all out of proportion to be honest.

KarmaStar · 26/05/2021 09:52

Think you are absorbing other people's negativity which is dragging you down.
Before you leave the house put on an invisible cloak of protection.wear a piece of hematite jewellery...it's shiny surface reflects back the negativity.Count your blessings,it helps to make you feel positive.🌈

chaosmaker · 26/05/2021 10:04

@Jjlrb47922

Can you hang back to miss most of them?

I'm a sahm and I'm alone nearly all of the time because my kids are in school. Alot of the mums at my kids school are too. The school run is sometimes the only other adults I get to speak to during a full day. Over the years I've built friendships at the gate but I talk to most people if they talk to me. My kid leaves school next year and I am really going to miss the school run chats, I am going to be even more lonely than I am now. Perhaps that's how the other ladies feel

Could you do some volunteering or something? It could just be a couple of hours and would stop you being so lonely x
Rainallnight · 26/05/2021 10:07

I was really thinking about this thread doing the school run this morning, looking around and realising that some parents must be really stressed and absolutely hating it. It’s really opened my eyes

CeibaTree · 26/05/2021 10:13

right now I’m juggling so much I can’t take on negativity from other mums during pick ups

You are choosing to take on 'negative' energy though. Maybe work on your psychic defences a bit then?

PlanetOfTheApesLives · 26/05/2021 10:19

@user1473878824

This is going to be a bit harsh but it’s two days a week doing something mildly irritating, I think you need to suck it up.
This @Anon6545
PlanetOfTheApesLives · 26/05/2021 10:20

@KarmaStar

Think you are absorbing other people's negativity which is dragging you down. Before you leave the house put on an invisible cloak of protection.wear a piece of hematite jewellery...it's shiny surface reflects back the negativity.Count your blessings,it helps to make you feel positive.🌈
Shiny surface reflects other people's negativity Hmm Grin
drpet49 · 26/05/2021 10:22

@Rave2thegrave

Because OPs behaviour is bizarre and not normal. She only does the school run twice a week and she feels like this. Not normal at all.

FoxgloveBee · 26/05/2021 10:27

I do it every day - I just get there dot on start time and when it's pick up time I stand away from the door where the usual ones congregate. I do chat and say hi to people I know when I see them but I don't find it overwhelming.

Having said that, I also work full time so I know I'd rather be out in the fresh air than sat at my desk in the office at home.

Totallyrandomname · 26/05/2021 10:31

[quote drpet49]@Rave2thegrave

Because OPs behaviour is bizarre and not normal. She only does the school run twice a week and she feels like this. Not normal at all.[/quote]
Well I must not be normal also then because some days I just can’t be bothered with the social interaction and I only do the school run half the week.

I work, chat to friends, meet up with people to swim....as someone who is introverted that’s enough social interaction and in some circumstances I just want to avoid it.

Also I can get overwhelmed if I’m in noisy places too long (like school play grounds). Doesn’t prevent me doing things in life (like work) but I do need to manage my life so I get quiet periods too.

I don’t think this is not normal. It’s just someone with a different feelings about social interaction than maybe you have.

Totallyrandomname · 26/05/2021 10:33

@Rainallnight

I was really thinking about this thread doing the school run this morning, looking around and realising that some parents must be really stressed and absolutely hating it. It’s really opened my eyes
And that’s called empathy.

I don’t see why some people can’t be accepting that people have different lives and different needs. Some will be lonely and seek interactions, some will feel overwhelmed and want to get in and out quickly.

DeclineandFall · 26/05/2021 10:38

Earphones in, stand at stand and stare at phone. It's the international symbol for fuck off and leave me alone. Loads of people do it, including me on occasion.

queenMab99 · 26/05/2021 10:41

When my children were young, I worked in a library in my town, 9.30 am to 12, then next door to the art centre, to make and serve sandwiches for the lunchtime trade in the bar, until 3pm. I would take my children to school, in the morning with younger child on the back of my bike, then pedal like hell to reach work in time, pedal back for 3.30pm to pick them up. As I stood gasping for breath, waiting for the children to come out, one of the mothers said to me 'I have had such a tiring day, I have repotted all my house plants!' I always felt I lived in a different world to most of the school mothers, but this has made me laugh for years. It is draining if you think you have to fit in, but I tried to be pleasant but detached.

Didiplanthis · 26/05/2021 10:43

My kids moved from a school where everybody stayed on a played for half an hour afterwards, all eating/demanding increasingly elaborate snacks till it became a bloody picnic.Thankfully I got on well with the mums but I hated it, it obviously wasn't compulsory but my boys have ASD and struggled socially, playdates utterly overwhelmed them and we had to stop doing them so this was their only time to try and improve friendships. When we moved schools to a grab and go school I was Sooooo relieved 😂

RowanAlong · 26/05/2021 10:45

Chatting to parents is the only fun bit of the school run! For us it’s driving rural lanes 25 mins each way, twice a day, every day, with younger sibling in tow. Now that’s annoying...

But I understand what you mean, if you don’t really have anyone there you actually want to chat to ... that’s draining.

Barney60 · 26/05/2021 10:46

i remember those days also hated them, everyone in their little cliques, i felt invisible was extremely shy and totally ignored, if i had my time over again...
do you have a close friend /child minder /babysitter you could ask to collect for you if its stressing you so much. When your older you really will wonder why you let this affect you.

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