I’m so fed up with school runs

[Anon6545]

I feel drained and exhausted. I only do school runs 2 days a week as I work part time. I wish I didn’t feel like this. Just lining up waiting to go in and chatting to other mums just drains me. I feel really down on my days off and I don’t want to waste it. Mornings are okay as everyone rushing to get to work but pick up is the worst. I have no family to help out and husband doesn’t finish work in time for pick ups so I’m on my own.

I blame myself for being so friendly in beginning. I had more energy when my child had just started nursery in the school but 3 years later I have zero energy I feel less able to smile and have chats about nothing. I have a full on job 3 days a week and younger children at home.

I don’t know why they bug me so much. I would love to just pick my child up and go home. I have so much in my mind I find it exhausting talking. Take today for example I was walking to the school and a mum walks with me and starts non stop chatting, I was finding it so difficult keeping up. I asked her what time she finishes work she replied “x time” then said “but I told you that last week too”, like I don’t remember any conversations I have with them!

Then at line up another one starts chatting and moaning about the parking situation. I really tried to look interested and the conversation lasted probably 3/4 mins but was torture for me as I felt her energy just zapping all of mine. I just walked quickly and said sorry I have to run and bye.

I don’t know why I feel this way. I wish I didn’t. I hate doing school runs.

It’s interesting that a PP talked about ADHD because when I read your post my first thought was that the ‘energy being sucked away’ sounded very similar to how people with ASD describe social interactions with people they don’t know well. I have ADD and quite like the school run. I find it hard to remember chit chat though.

Would you find them ok if you just had your school aged child? I love them when I’m just doing it with my eldest one but find it much more stressful when the younger one is in toe. When she was 1, I’d often have to wake her up from her nap so she was cranky, now she’s 2 there I have to keep eyes on her so she doesn’t try and run into cars while people are chatting away. I’d find them stressful with a 1 and 3 yo as well tbh.

I'd try looking at it another way. I can still picture my Mum standing at the gates waiting for me one day - I think I must have been in primary school. I can still remember the rush of love and happiness I felt at seeing her and how happy she looked to see me. Now she's no longer alive, it's one of my favourite memories.
It is a mundane task, and at times irritating and stressful but don't under estimate what it means to your children. I only managed the school run with ds1 until he was seven. Ds 2 had a childminder and so our happy meet-up moment was at her house rather than in the playground.

I do it 5 times a week! Trick is to stand away and be last to pick up. Then you don't have to talk to anyone.

I know this thread isn't recent but It reads like ADHD to me too.

I arrive on the dot of pick up time. It means that I have 1-2 minutes of chat at most.

I learned this week though, that a chat with other school mums can be useful. DD has an issue and chatting it through with the other mums was really really helpful.

I also struggle with being chatted at for minutes on end but I've found that if I make a bit of effort then conversations don't become being talked at. That's more likely to happen if we're not responding.

I hear you ! I hate doing it but console myself with the fact I only do it a couple times a week. Child is in year 1 and I haven’t spoken to more than 2 parents since she started and that’s in passing … I have no desire to stand around / get there early / linger after the kids come out to talk absolute dribble .. I do get for some it's essential but not for me and my child is bubbly and friendly with strong friendships so hasn’t rubbed off …. The mums tend to wide birth me and the dads are more warm … wonder why! If you thought school run was bad wait till birthday parties where you have to force the small talk to then be ignored the following day back in the playground …. I get anxiety too…. But I’m also at the stage of ‘ whatever ‘

Most dreadful time of my life. So glad is over.

I'm really surprised at how many people hate the school run this much!

I understand why you don’t like it but you need to help yourself manage it better.

Turn up exactly at pick up time, grab your child, engage them in conversation and go. Smile and say ‘hello’ to others if you are noticed whilst walking- that’s it. If you do turn up early then using your phone (especially with obvious earphones) are obvious ‘leave me alone’ markers.

Anything else is just complicating the situation surely? Especially if you find the social aspect tricky.

You're really lucky. My dd has to do wrap around before school and after school. The only day I can collect her myself is Friday when I finish work early. Her face lights up when she sees me every Friday. Enjoy every moment you can be with your dc and be grateful for what you have.