I’m so fed up with school runs

[Anon6545]

I feel drained and exhausted. I only do school runs 2 days a week as I work part time. I wish I didn’t feel like this. Just lining up waiting to go in and chatting to other mums just drains me. I feel really down on my days off and I don’t want to waste it. Mornings are okay as everyone rushing to get to work but pick up is the worst. I have no family to help out and husband doesn’t finish work in time for pick ups so I’m on my own.

I blame myself for being so friendly in beginning. I had more energy when my child had just started nursery in the school but 3 years later I have zero energy I feel less able to smile and have chats about nothing. I have a full on job 3 days a week and younger children at home.

I don’t know why they bug me so much. I would love to just pick my child up and go home. I have so much in my mind I find it exhausting talking. Take today for example I was walking to the school and a mum walks with me and starts non stop chatting, I was finding it so difficult keeping up. I asked her what time she finishes work she replied “x time” then said “but I told you that last week too”, like I don’t remember any conversations I have with them!

Then at line up another one starts chatting and moaning about the parking situation. I really tried to look interested and the conversation lasted probably 3/4 mins but was torture for me as I felt her energy just zapping all of mine. I just walked quickly and said sorry I have to run and bye.

I don’t know why I feel this way. I wish I didn’t. I hate doing school runs.

Put on headphones, sunglasses, cap and a mask and get there last.

How about waiting in the car?

I'm a teacher and huge numbers of my parents have admitted to hating the school run over the years. There's probably loads more who just don't admit it. I expect most of the parents you're complaining about having to chat to, are also grumpy about having to chat to you. I mean, does anyone really enjoy superficial small talk with people they barely know? At least you are only doing it part time.

You could try dropping off a couple of minutes earlier, if you trust your child to wait sensibly. Or turn up exactly on time, when most parents are already leaving. Or drop off elsewhere on the school site and watch her go in from a distance.

Or just accept that people are trying to be nice, that some minimal social interaction might have benefits for your child, that it's only until she can walk to school herself.

Really? Just find a couple of people you can tolerate and have a chat. I think you really just need to get over yourself a bit here.

I always have rushed in and out...I don't like crowds never have and I feel it pressing on my chest sometimes (just anxiety I guess) I love not having any school run acquaintances. My husband is much more chatty they hopefully just think I'm quite. I have friends that take their kids to same school (before we were mums but im so glad they are in different years so we hardly see eachother) I love them but not on the school run!

Careful OP - maybe you might get what you wish for - and not on your terms Hopefully not, so pull yer pants up and focus on why you're there - to pick your kids up.

Or, would you prefer to be the parent that Teach needs to have a word with, often? Then no worries, job done, no one will want to talk to you.

Thank you everyone. My daughter is very young yet so we have to walk them to the class door. I just feel making conversations with people also makes my younger 2 really needy as they will start crying abs shouting for my attention when they see me chatting. Then when I pick up my daughter I’m having to juggle all 3 whilst trying to look interested in a conversation with someone whose name I don’t even know!

I feel like I get a little scatty (sp?) like I might drop something, kids will be crying abs I’ll be trying to wrestle the eldest away from running into the road whilst a mum is chatting away about nonsense. I just want to feel more in control but these little conversations distract me and then I feel like a bad mother whose just letting her kids scream abs shout for attention

I can sympathise. IME it's worse if people know it's your day off or you WFH; they then just assume you have an endless amount of time. Some of the people I am friendly with chat non-stop; it's particularly irritating if they have suggested we go for walk together after the dropoff but then stop and talk to anyone we bump into for ages and I stand by thinking of what I could and should be doing! To get out of the chit chat at the school gates I would just pretend that I was rushing to / from work on my off days or bury my nose in my phone / book / wear headphone and sunglasses as others have suggested.

@Shitfuckcommaetc

It's a bit of a dramatic reaction for a 3 minute conversation tbh

Yes, this.

happycat do you realise how frequently you tell other posters they have no right to complain because your life is worse?

Sorry for typos! Phone autocorrecting and to abs for some reason

Nope 😀 I’m hardly the only one who has said the same, maybe stop stalking me then 😅

Is this out of character for you?
Are you normally/formerly more extroverted?
Are you the kind of person who chats to the hairdresser or wishes the whole thing could be done in blissful silence?!

If this is just you then ok. But honestly you sound miserable and some of the things you say that you used to be more friendly and how your tolerance is low sounds a bit like depression... or am I reading too much into this?

Either way you need some coping strategies. You sound stressed and overloaded at work and in life. And you can blank people at school if you want. It's okay

Ive not being doing preschool pickup lately due to work commitments and I miss it! I've got friends among the other mums and we all enjoy a chat. I don't understand how you can have children at a school for several years, presumably in your local community, and not happen to have a single friend among the parents whom you'd like a chat with

I love the school run I do it every day M-F. Chatting to other mums keeps me sane and happy!

The fact I notice it doesn’t mean I’m stalking.

Perfectly fine to say ‘overreaction’, it’s the ‘I-have-it-worse’ that is getting a bit

AIBU is savage. I'm not sure how another parent bitching about parking is good for the child? Honestly OP you're not alone and I get it completely. It's not how are you, can't wait for summer, almost half term; it's parking, tired, kids being late out, the teachers, Covid, masks. It's draining.

My OH gets there right as they're coming out, wears headphones and has his nose in his phone and then when our son comes out he's out of there haha. I always feel rude doing that and clearly I've been sympathetic one too many times so they're drawn to me now haha.

Drop off is fab though (for me anyway) and I'll often swap with OH so I do more drop offs and he does more pick ups .

I quite like the school run but it's a nice walk and I don't mind the occasional chat

We have threads from posters complaining that no-one talk to them on the school run,
we have threads complaining that people are actually talking to them

Just arrive at the last minute, fake a phone call and say "sorry, I am in such a rush today" when someone tries to talk to you.

Or just be honest and tell them you don't want to waste your time talking with them. People will very quickly stop bothering you.

I've had an epiphany here. Maybe this is why no one wants to talk to me at pick up. It's interesting to see from your side that you are tired and simply want to collect your child. From my side, I've not spoken to a soul since 8:50 and have been trying to keep myself busy around the house while job hunting and worrying about DC. I like to chat, yet people do pull away and avoid me. At least I know it's not personal. At least I HOPE it isn't!

Could you just wait in the car until the last minute? There's a time window usually when the children are that little- forewarn your child you'll be last and then there's no panic all round.

I walk 6 miles a day, 5 days a week in all weathers doing the school run. Taxi to school costs me £25 a week because it's too far to walk. I'm sick of replacing my shoes due to wearing them out. I don't have the added issue of other school mums because I'm not there for them. I get in and out. Don't get me wrong, I'm always ready with a smile (under the mask) and fine with small talk but I'm generally ignored. I wear earphones for pick up. I'm sick of the scho

@GiveTheGirlAGun you sound lovely. I'd happily chat 😌

*school run. Less than 2 years to go

@Anon6545 how old are your younger children? To be honest, it sounds more like you're overwhelmed by everything else and are just focusing on the school run as the source of your stress. Do you feel out of control in other parts of your life?

It's hard having small children especially if you have 3 and are juggling work too. It does sound like you're may be a bit depressed.

I find the school run annoying at times when I'm busy and need to get back for work but at other times I enjoy it.

I'm like this. I have ADHD though. Find it very hard to focus on small talk NEVER bloody remember what They've said and feel drained.