People are nicer to me now I'm a size 12....

[NoFashion]

Has anyone noticed the same?

I've been obese for at least 10 years. So school mums etc only ever knew me as a fat person. (Size 20+)

I'm now a size 12. So not slim, but normal looking and can shop in regular shops and buy nice clothes.

People are suddenly much chattier to me. Shop assistants (I've always been chatty, it's in my American genes, we chat to folk) will chat more frequently, with less of a "you're strange" vibe.

Any similar experiences? Or am I imagining it?

I don't think I gave off "leave me alone" signals when fat. But I deep down wonder if people suddenly see I'm a person too. It's hard to explain. But it's kind of crappy.

I also wonder if it's a UK thing. Don't think I ever noticed it back "home" (not that I've been there for ages now. Stupid Covid.)

Of course this is a thing, it’s well known that people treat overweight people worse than slim people.

I think it's a lot your own self esteem and behaviour and how you hold yourself.

I have same personality and still don't take shit and people don't treat me any differently than what I remember being treated when I was your size (both in UK) if I was that fat I was back in my native country I would get proper comments. I believe lots comes from within.

Thanks. That somehow passed me by. I guess having always been big now is the first time I've seen the other side.

Congratulations on the weight loss.
I've been fat far too long to remember if people were nice to me before.
But I've seen how slimmer people are treated compared to me, and I do think it's a "thing".

I think it's definitely a thing, you're not imagining it. It sucks! Congrats on your weight loss BTW!

I've lost a similar amount and actually think some people (especially supermarket cashiers for some reason) were more friendly when I was bigger... I was always confident in my skin and rarely felt in any way disadvantaged by my weight/ size - I lost the weight for the sake of my health and life expectancy.

I live abroad and less people are very large here - my size and being foreign in a small rural community also made me very recognisable before and this actually worked in my favour, pretty much always.

I feel like just another invisible middle aged woman now.

I do like being slimmer generally, and of course health is vastly more important than being greeted by name in the supermarket/ post office/ bank and people going out of their way for you, but I think being big actually worked pretty well for me

It is a thing I put 4 stone on in pregnancy and noticed the shift in attitude toward me from people , I got down to a size 10 and suddenly people chatted away again and actually looked at me , it’s bizarre .

It’s totally a thing

I'm sorry you've experienced this, but yes it's something I've noticed. It's sickens me tbh. We live in a culture that seems to think slimmer people are more worthy of time and acceptance than larger people. MN is the same. The fatphobia on here is disgusting.

I'm sure you're a lovely person regardless of your size don't let your weight or other people define your worth.

I’ve been fat and thin. It’s 100% a thing.

There’s people that will tell you it comes from within and how you feel about yourself but that’s bull, I’ve been both over the years (fat and thin) and it’s definitely a thing.

Def a thing, I’ve been a 16 and a 10 and now back to 16 in the last four years and the difference it makes is very noticeable.

Of course it's a thing.

There may also be a relationship to how you present and carry yourself too. You probably have new clothes and a spring in your step. When I have those things, people talk to me, in a way they don't when I'm a bit scruffy and preoccupied.

It's because I'm presenting myself to the outside world and for the outside world, my self-presentation communicates 'I'm confident, aware of my presence amongst others and available to chat', rather than 'I'm lost in my own head and you can't guess what I might or might not say'.

It's sad to say but it's definitely a thing, but in my experience so is being blonde or dark haired, young or old, seemingly able-bodied or disabled, and I've experienced all the combinations!!. Women are subject to constant judgment over everything and I am sad to say that I find life much easier being thinner, blonder and even hiding my disability, as I've not had much empathy from others, even on here. I can't really hide my age but I do the rest because it takes a lot of energy to demand the consideration we all deserve as humans when I was fatter and dark and used walking stick, including getting a seat on the train. Pathetic really and I don't see it changing anytime soon 😕

You’ve done brilliantly op!

It’s not a thing in my experience but I don’t routinely socialise with arseholes.

It is a thing I put 4 stone on in pregnancy and noticed the shift in attitude toward me from people , I got down to a size 10 and suddenly people chatted away again and actually looked at me , it’s bizarre .

This is also my experience. I thought at a certain point I’d just morphed into a middle aged mum type and perhaps that was part of the issue but as soon as I became thinner again it was like I had shed my invisibility cloak. Was a real eye opener. People literally didn’t look at me when I was fat.

I've been both too. Definitely is a thing, it's crap but you only have to read some of the patronising and judgemental posts on here about weight to see how some people view the overweight.

@Happycat1212

There’s people that will tell you it comes from within and how you feel about yourself but that’s bull, I’ve been both over the years (fat and thin) and it’s definitely a thing.

Totally agree, it's victim blaming and wouldn't be acceptable in any other context.

Totally agree, it's victim blaming and wouldn't be acceptable in any other context.

There is nothing victim blaming on this. It's a personal experience and obviously when you are happier in yourself and outgoing you are more approachable and you approach more.

I agree that people seem to be like this!
I got fitter and lost weight last year and changed my glasses for contacts. People definitely notice me more. Totally baffling.

I’ve been a size 6 and a size 18 in my life and this is definitely true. Sadly.

Definitely a thing! And I find men are the ones who treat you different in my experience. When I was super obese I used to find that I was overlooked and men generally didn’t look me in the eye when I was taking to them. Especially about important things. Work related etc. However after losing 7 stone I find I am being taken more seriously.

Someone mentioned self esteem abs confidence which I believe does play a big role in how you are treated but when you have people who kind of dismiss you because of your size it does take a battering.

Actually, we know saying “it’s mostly attitude” is wrong because it’s scientifically proven to be a thing: people are kinder to you if you’re attractive and weight is one of the ways that attractiveness is judged in the studies on it. So yes, the closer you are to the “normal” attractive ideal, the kinder people will be. Here’s an article about the studies:
www.vice.com/en/article/gvezeq/the-agony-and-the-ecstasy-of-being-incredibly-hot

And it gets worse. If you’re overweight, especially as a woman, you’re less likely to be hired for a job and more likely to be paid less. Here’s an article covering the research on that:
www.theguardian.com/inequality/2017/aug/30/demoted-dismissed-weight-size-ceiling-work-discrimination

I do think when you feel better about yourself you have a more conversational/upbeat spirit, so I think it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other. When I’m eating badly I definitely feel more negative and my interactions with people are completely different.

I'm the opposite to you, used to be a size 10-12 now a 22. People treat me so differently now. Its like I'm not really human, my feeling don't count, opinions don't matter. I'm not important. It's so sad. I'd be happy to be a size 14-16 tbh.