People are nicer to me now I'm a size 12....

[NoFashion]

Has anyone noticed the same?

I've been obese for at least 10 years. So school mums etc only ever knew me as a fat person. (Size 20+)

I'm now a size 12. So not slim, but normal looking and can shop in regular shops and buy nice clothes.

People are suddenly much chattier to me. Shop assistants (I've always been chatty, it's in my American genes, we chat to folk) will chat more frequently, with less of a "you're strange" vibe.

Any similar experiences? Or am I imagining it?

I don't think I gave off "leave me alone" signals when fat. But I deep down wonder if people suddenly see I'm a person too. It's hard to explain. But it's kind of crappy.

I also wonder if it's a UK thing. Don't think I ever noticed it back "home" (not that I've been there for ages now. Stupid Covid.)

@Alternista

I have always been a bit sceptical about the “invisibility fat shield” thing but I can see now it’s a thing. I don’t want to be fat again but I don’t like this aspect.

It’s horrible, isn’t it? It made me feel vulnerable, very sexualised. As though I had worked hard to get their attention and was being rewarded. I had no idea what was going on at first.

Creepy, very disempowering and soul destroying.

@FluffyBlueJumper
Wtf your dh sounds awful.
Losing 7 stone is amazing, hope you manage to lose him too

I’ve been fat my whole life so don’t have the experience of being slim to compare. I’ve always been treated well by women (as a general rule, obviously there have been some shitty rude people) but out and about in public men are generally totally indifferent to me. It’s weird as I’ve always had boyfriends, never been short of male attention in that way but I’ve never experienced the kind of really nice, thoughtful behaviour from strange men that a lot of thinner women say they have experienced. On nights out with friends I generally am treated as though I’m invisible by men that might want to approach my friends. Don’t worry, I’m not so fat and desperate that I’m going to force you to have sex with me
Generally though I consider myself to be fairly attractive and intelligent - I dress well, make an effort with my makeup, hair and appearance and am well educated/well spoken, which are all factors I think in how people treat you (not that they should be at all). But basically I agree, fat people - especially fat women - are treated much worse by society and in my personal experience by men in particular.

@Smurfsarethefuture yes. I went into town yesterday and initially I was clutching my handbag closer to me as I felt watched/vulnerable and then I realised it felt more like a sexual thing.

I had made an effort with my make up and hair as I hardly ever go out these days and I thought it would feel nice but actually I wanted to cry after a while tbh. I’m not saying any of the men were predators btw! I just wasn’t prepared for how I felt.

Now I sound like I’m some sort of supermodel leaving an ocean of men panting in my wake! I’m really not 😂

Congratulations on the weight loss, OP! May you long continue to have positive interactions with other people.

@coogee

How is size 12 not slim?!

It's not slim when it's me.

Or me

You are right it's a thing! Huge congrats to you for such a fab achievement!

Maybe we are @Alternista🤣🤣🤣🤣

If this is true I'm shocked. I never look at someone and think I won't chat to them because of the way they look. Im chatty and will talk to anyone no matter what they look like.
Im sorry you've had to deal with that and well done for loosing weight too 👏

Size 12 is slim in the real world where people never ask size 12 women if they were the one who ate all the pies. In the world of MN competitive thinness, it's close to obese.

@GlutenFreeGingerCake

Size 12 is slim in the real world where people never ask size 12 women if they were the one who ate all the pies. In the world of MN competitive thinness, it's close to obese.

Couldn't have said it better myself. It's as if it's the norm on here to be a UK size 4 and anything upwards is fat

Thanks for all the replies. Sorry for not being back sooner.

As for the "not slim"

I'm certainly much slimmer than I ever have been. But I'm short. Some petite clothes are still too long.

My thighs touch. I have a wobbly belly still and plenty of other wobbly bits.

That's what I meant by "not slim"

Also. I shop in places that are probably vanity sizing. I'm sure I'm not an expensive shop size 12!

@GlutenFreeGingerCake

Size 12 is slim in the real world where people never ask size 12 women if they were the one who ate all the pies. In the world of MN competitive thinness, it's close to obese.

I live in the real world and I was 2 pounds away from being overweight as a size 12. I'm 5 foot 3 so obviously it would be different for taller women, but saying a size 12 is medium is NOT competitive thinness and it's stupid to suggest that it is.

I'm still an overweight BMI at a 12.

Very depressing to read this but I can believe it. (Congratulations on the weight loss, too.) I also think it goes the other way. I piled on a lot of weight when pregnant and people were nicer to me, chattier etc. As a tall size 8 middle-aged sharp-faced woman, no one is very chatty to me -- I think my face looks slightly mean and harsh. Or maybe just as if I'm efficient and in a hurry (I'm not). As a thin young woman, no one was either, though a lot of men of a certain type tried to hit on me. Size 12 might be the most likeable size?

When a size 8 middle aged woman, women were bitchy and made endless, obviously envious comments about my weight.
Everywhere I went, men would chat me up.
Post lockdown I am a size 14 and women I know as acquaintences give me pitying and pleased looking up downers and I get zero male attention.

Defo a thing I lost 4 stone and it was scarily noticeable!

I live in the real world and I was 2 pounds away from being overweight as a size 12. I'm 5 foot 3 so obviously it would be different for taller women, but saying a size 12 is medium is NOT competitive thinness and it's stupid to suggest that it is.

absolutely

and it means that size 6-8 are slim, which sounds about right 🤷

@hopsalong and @falafleybollocks I had a similar experience. Ignoring men, I found women much nicer and friendlier now I'm overweight. Especially larger women who would respond to chit chat with me before.
Perhaps it's more relatable? Or a confidence thing.

I'm sad in a way as I need to lose weight for my health, and I also do not miss the treatment I got from men.

Thighs can still touch and bits wobble when you’re slim!

Agree that, depending on height, build and so on, BMI can be in the overweight category at whatever size.

@GlutenFreeGingerCake

Size 12 is slim in the real world where people never ask size 12 women if they were the one who ate all the pies. In the world of MN competitive thinness, it's close to obese.

I'm about 5ft6, consistently a size 12 in different shops, and I'm currently about a stone overweight. If I gained another stone or so then I would probably be obese.

I'm now a size 12. So not slim, but normal looking and can shop in regular shops and buy nice clothes

Size 12 not slim? Thanks for that, I've been trying for years to be a size 12, I finally am and certainly feel slim.

And I'm 5'7", and have recently been a stone heavier. I was overweight, but not obese. When I was three stone heavier, I was obese.

Everyone’s height and body is different - OP has clarified that she is shorter, and that her BMI is in the overweight category at size 12.