People are nicer to me now I'm a size 12....

[NoFashion]

Has anyone noticed the same?

I've been obese for at least 10 years. So school mums etc only ever knew me as a fat person. (Size 20+)

I'm now a size 12. So not slim, but normal looking and can shop in regular shops and buy nice clothes.

People are suddenly much chattier to me. Shop assistants (I've always been chatty, it's in my American genes, we chat to folk) will chat more frequently, with less of a "you're strange" vibe.

Any similar experiences? Or am I imagining it?

I don't think I gave off "leave me alone" signals when fat. But I deep down wonder if people suddenly see I'm a person too. It's hard to explain. But it's kind of crappy.

I also wonder if it's a UK thing. Don't think I ever noticed it back "home" (not that I've been there for ages now. Stupid Covid.)

Yeah, it's a thing.

As you can imagine it really helped me not escalate when I was in the midst of an eating disorder

It's nothing to do with your attitude everything to do with your weight.

I've been both and life is decidedly kinder when thinner.

That's very dismissive and based on assumptions. I was very 'bubbly' when overweight- smiley, dressed for my shape and made an effort with my hair and make up; I felt I had to have a facade on at all times. Now I go about just as I am, often with a face like a slapped arse and still find people, mainly strangers out and about, treat me better.

that's just me

but "bubbly" people on the school run make me run a mile, I am much more comfortable with someone with a normal face.
NOTHING to do with their weight, I just don't have the time and energy.

I lost 11 stone and suddenly became visible. Also more accepted by my family. It's a real head messer. I'm still the same person so what was so wrong with me before?? I hear you op xx

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Totally agree, it's victim blaming and wouldn't be acceptable in any other context.

There is nothing victim blaming on this. It's a personal experience and obviously when you are happier in yourself and outgoing you are more approachable and you approach more.

It is a thing. And the whole 'It's how you carry yourself' thing is bullshit too.

I am fat. I am more confident now. I dress better now. Carry myself better now. Make more of an effort with my appearance now. And still people talk to me like I'm an idiot. I was scruffy and miserable when I was thin, not fat. Lots of sweeping generalisations here.

I found the attitudes of others very off putting when I lost weight, I think it was one of the contributing factors to regaining, not saying the main reason but it didn't help. As a fat person you get badly treated occasionally but a lot of the time you are kind of invisible and people don't make comments and that is kind of nice. Suddenly getting a lot of attention both good and bad didn't suit me, even though I liked the compliments, overall I like to be left alone.

Yep. Until 7 years ago I was a size 8/10.

I gained 10 stone in 3 years.

At my biggest I was a size 24 and I was invisible. I often joked I could run down the street screaming and people would look the other way.

I’m losing now, but still sort of invisible at and 18, although when people so speak to me, I’ve noticed they talk slowly like I won’t be able to understand as I’m obviously thick because I’m fat.

I don't know people definitely treat you better when you are nicely dressed and look decent I get much better service in shops etc when I have made an effort compared to covered in mud rain and windswept from a dogwalk its not right but it is a thing but maybe you give out a different more happier confident vibe now you feel better about yourself so this could ha e an effect on how people react to you maybe. If before you were not very happy or confident it can show in your demeanour and people react more positively to happy than not happy well done on losing your weight by the way that is amazing

Oh and my attitude etc was the same when I was thin. It’s just how fat I am that changes the way people act towards me.

I used to work with a lovely Polish girl, she was so slim, at a guess, a size 8-10. She always wore a belt around her waist (not holding anything up) and I wondered why. She told me that she wore it to stop her gaining weight. If it became tight, she'd put weight on. She said when she visited her family in Poland they would all comment negatively on how much weight she'd put on, and was unable to find anything in her size in clothes shops there! She was honestly so slim.
It's always made me think how differently other countries view weight/size /appearance.

That's interesting. A lot of people have experienced similar so it must be a thing and I'd assume most of us are guilty of it if it is so common. Not just weight but looks as well. Disabilities. Clothes. Someone mentioned hair colour as well.

This is not a matter of opinions, there is plenty of research to show that overweight people are treated worse and discriminated against, fat phobia is as real as other forms of prejudice.

Yes, I think about this every day, I was recently diagnosed with a condition due to the amount of weight I had put on, and the change in the people I once spoke to is hurtful.
I will lose the weight again with condition under control, but until then I am destined to be looked down on.

I agree, OP and I think it is a real head wrecker. I dated for the first time after going down to a size 8 and the guy treated me fairly badly and excused it in a women like you are used to getting your own way kind of thing - which couldnt have been further from the truth for me.

Also someone I considered a good friend really shocked me with here comments about how I was effectively competition for her now - wtf?

Did not see a lot of it coming. Missed my pints of lager. Felt that I had to stay that weight and decided I 'd rather have a healthy, balanced outlook regarding food and weight and that I didn't want to be around people that would not support that.

It's a minefield. Really depressed to think that, regarding mens attitudes so much of the hard work I had up to that point was n't them being unaware, naive, oblivious, etc but actually deliberate as though I wasn't worth basic civility.

I had two friends, one fat (20+ stone), one thin (9 stone ); both tall. I invited them out on a group meal for my birthday. Thin watched every single thing my fat friend did/ate (luckily ff didn’t notice), then relayed it to me the next time I saw her. Her judgment was that ff must be lazy and greedy.

I don’t see thin friend anymore- unpleasant cow, but I do see similar happening every time I’m out with ff. People don’t speak to her, but they do watch her.

I’m verging on overweight myself, and have an exercise/diet friend who will always comment positively when I lose a bit of weight- usually through illness ffs!

I try not to judge people based on their weight. However, I must admit that all of my friends are slim too, but this is partly because they share a passion for the sports that I do but also because I really struggle to make a connection with larger people. I feel bigger mums for instance often have their guard up (probably from being judged by other people) and it's almost as if they see me and learn that I'm into sport and shut me out. I could be imagining it but it's just my thoughts as a new mum on mat leave that meets lots of mums at classes, meet ups etc.

The other thing is that we are conscious of it and on some level other people do read the messages you snd yourself and reflect that back to you. If you are self conscious/beating yurself up about something it does semm to radiate out to otehrs and they respond to it, often in an unconscious way but I still agree with OP - with weight t is so obvious what is going on.

If I’m feeling good I have my head up, I make more eye contact, I smile and engage more. If I’m feeling low I don’t interact much and I do become invisible even more so in my 50’s. I am overweight but I have still surprised myself by unconsciously judging someone because of their weight. It is a real thing, though no one likes to admit to it.

I must give off F off vibes, no one every wants to talk to me and I try. I'm not fat but I'm tall or ugly, maybe that puts them off.

I’m a size 14 (I’m 5’9) I’ve also been a size 20 after having my eldest and was large for a while.

I’ve honestly never noticed people treating me badly because of it at all. I’ve had plenty of folk show me kindness, I’ve always randomly been approached/given the eye by men. I feel more confident now than I possibly did when I was larger. But in all honesty it’s never affected me when it comes to how I’m treated.

Definitely a thing. I was very
overweight was treated awful by strangers and even by my GP. Lost the weight naturally and it’s so different especially healthcare wise, now if I go to the GP about a health concern they generally listen before everything came down to well it’s because your so over weight.

It’s not a thing in my experience but I don’t routinely socialise with arseholes
What a ridiculous and rude thing to say.
The op wasn't talking about her mates but about people in general, eg people outside her social circle such as shop assistants.

A size 12 is definitely slim!
Not necessarily!!

Yes. I have lost and gained five stone several times over the last thirty years and I have exactly the same experience every time.

I was unaware of it, but it was pointed out to me by my sister (she is a good bit overweight). I've never been overweight, but I'm inclined to believe her.

"I'm now a size 12. So not slim, but normal looking and can shop in regular shops and buy nice clothes."

Rude. I consider myself slim at at size 12 😂🙈