People are nicer to me now I'm a size 12....

[NoFashion]

Has anyone noticed the same?

I've been obese for at least 10 years. So school mums etc only ever knew me as a fat person. (Size 20+)

I'm now a size 12. So not slim, but normal looking and can shop in regular shops and buy nice clothes.

People are suddenly much chattier to me. Shop assistants (I've always been chatty, it's in my American genes, we chat to folk) will chat more frequently, with less of a "you're strange" vibe.

Any similar experiences? Or am I imagining it?

I don't think I gave off "leave me alone" signals when fat. But I deep down wonder if people suddenly see I'm a person too. It's hard to explain. But it's kind of crappy.

I also wonder if it's a UK thing. Don't think I ever noticed it back "home" (not that I've been there for ages now. Stupid Covid.)

People just like any excuse to be mean and in general don't like change especially when it cones to weight. People always gush when I loose weight or try feeding me up...

Im not doubting the many experiences listed above but just to agree with one previous poster in that sometimes the feeling of being ignored or not looked at may be true but not necessarily meant as a dismissal.
I know this isnt going to be a popular comment and I would never deliberately blank someone or say rude things to them I have to admit that when I see/meet a very obese person I become very self conscious of not looking at them incase Im thought to be staring or something and maybe it does come across badly but I really dont mean it to.
I live in a very small area with very little diversity and wouldnt have any colleagues/ friends etc of different backgrounds and so I can sometimes feel the same around people of colour or people with disabilities I genuinely dont think I am a racist fatist bitch but once i become aware of something that people can be sensitive about I am so eager to pretend I havent noticed I become akward.
This is totally my problem I know that and Im not judging the other person but Im so aware of them feel stared at or annoyed that I make a bags of it!

@HarebrightCedarmoon

If she was BMI 23 she would be slim and healthy. So many people with fucked up body image on here.

BMI 23 is overweight for people from most Asian ethnic backgrounds, and towards the heavy end of normal for people from most Caucasian/Black backgrounds.

It's not 'slim' for anyone.

• BMI 23 is overweight for people from most Asian ethnic backgrounds, and towards the heavy end of normal for people from most Caucasian/Black backgrounds.

It's not 'slim' for anyone.*

What nonsense. It might not be slim for everyone but it is slim and healthy for the majority of people!

"It might not be slim for everyone but it is slim and healthy for the majority of people!"

Do you know about BMI or are you thinking a 23 inch waist?
BMI goes from 19 to 25, so at 23 you're bigger than the middle of it. Not on the smaller side of it.

@riotlady

* BMI 23 is overweight for people from most Asian ethnic backgrounds, and towards the heavy end of normal for people from most Caucasian/Black backgrounds.

It's not 'slim' for anyone.*

What nonsense. It might not be slim for everyone but it is slim and healthy for the majority of people!

I think some of the Asian the countries have it officially lower than here because of different predispositions and risks. Will come back with google links

Couldn't find bmi tables in the countries, but this ome supports it
www.diabetes.co.uk/south-asian/bmi-values-for-south-asians.html

Bit older
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-23143010.amp

Gwenhwyfar what are you talking about? BMI doesn't "go from 19 to 25" - healthy BMI does for caucasians (or 18.5 - 24.9). BMI is simply weight in kg divided by height in meters squared, it doesn't go from or to anything in particular.

There is absolutely no basis for arguing people are not "slim" at a BMI of 23 - that'll depend on their body composition.

I been both and it is definitely a thing.

It's the other way around for me. I'm overweight but men are nice to me and women are mostly complete bitches.

When I lost a lot of weight in the past, women were still nasty and men were disrespectful and after one thing.

Forgot to say that women stare at me and give me dirty looks regardless of my size.

Keepyourdistance000 are you one of those people who always makes a bee-line for any men in a room/ group and badmouths or ignores other women unless there are no men present? Thats pretty much the usual explanation for that minority of women who experience all other women as nadty "bitches" in all situations...

@UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme

Keepyourdistance000 are you one of those people who always makes a bee-line for any men in a room/ group and badmouths or ignores other women unless there are no men present? Thats pretty much the usual explanation for that minority of women who experience all other women as nadty "bitches" in all situations...

Not at all - I'm actually very shy and don't have much confidence.

Find it bizarre some people are obsessing over OP saying she's not slim. I am fairly chubby as a size 12, normal at size 8 and slim at size 6. Right now I'm in not great shape and 4 months pregnant with my third and about 8/10 but with lots of wobbly bits. That's not to say that's the case for everyone but we are all different heights with different bone structures and shapes!

OP, I find people have been nicer to me in times when I've been more conventionally attractive, but not all people - in my early twenties as a very young mum at a private school another mum actually told me not to speak to her unattractive slimy husband. Currently I'm ok with most people I'm neither fat nor attractive 😂

All this obsession with BMI and dress sizes is frustrating on here, and in real life.

Most people know the correct weight for their height.

Also the posters saying "size 12 is small, I'm my right BMI" - that's great.

You also however have the OP of another thread running on here right now saying this: "I’m now around a 12/14 so not huge but just so so unfit, flabby and uncomfortable with myself".

Surely both can be true, and it all depends on your height, where you store weight etc?