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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at DH for this?

209 replies

AngryLittleMummy · 14/11/2007 18:28

I am furious. Earlier on DD (2) was messing about with the remote controls (we have 3, one for tv, DVD, sky remote) anyway, he managed to turn on the dvd player and on came a bloody blue movie, I was horrified. OK I know DH watches it now and again (never when I or the kids are around thats for sure) and it doesn't really bother me BUT to leave it carelessly in the player is downright stupid. He could have at least hidden it. He gets this DVDs from his pervo mates at work.

Can you imagine if my parents or his parents were there when this happened or worse still a visitor? Could have been a health visitor checking the little one.

I am currently not speaking to him for this and threw his dvd in the bin (cracked it in half first and its not even his) ha ha.

AIBU?

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 14/11/2007 18:49

I'm not amazed. Just astounded by how many women don't actually realise that their dh most likely indulges in a bit of porn on the QT (not you of course!)

It's a bit like football. Not every bloke is an avid fan, but most will watch the odd match

Original poster
AngryLittleMummy · 14/11/2007 18:50

So some of you clearly do not mind your men watching porn?

OP posts:
pointydog · 14/11/2007 18:51

has your dh really just got the one porn dvd that he watches over and over? Or hav I read op wrong?

normabutty · 14/11/2007 18:51

Actually dh & I watch porn together. I watch it more than him...it's me that's into porn.

Lulumama · 14/11/2007 18:51

no, don;t mind at all, in the context of a fulfilling relationship, even women like to watch it too ! c'mon, you are avoiding the point here...

handlemecarefully · 14/11/2007 18:52

Do you know NormaB, I really don't care that much who pays, or if nobody pays, or if the porn 'library' at his workplace folds in the aftermath of this incident

normabutty · 14/11/2007 18:52

As Lulu says, it's not porn that's the issue. ALM destroyed someone else's property. It was her that destroyed it, it should be her that pays for it.

Lulumama · 14/11/2007 18:53

good analogy HMC

Original poster
AngryLittleMummy · 14/11/2007 18:55

lulu I think my DH and his mates are pervs for watching it .
I don't regret snapping the dvd though and your comparison is hardly the same..

handlemecarefully I agree with what you have said I like the football comparison . Anyway,most men probably do watch it even if it is not a dvd they may look at mags on the sly when the missus isn't around.

OP posts:
normabutty · 14/11/2007 18:56

I thought Lulu's comparison perfectly demonstrated the point.

Lulumama · 14/11/2007 18:57

ultimately, whether you agree or not with what i said, you have destroyed someone else;s property and that is wrong in my opinion.

you really consider your DH a perv? i hope he doesn;t know you think of him that way

Original poster
AngryLittleMummy · 14/11/2007 18:58

pointydog my DH gets them from work and no its not the same one over and over. A guy at work gets them from somewhere.

OP posts:
Original poster
AngryLittleMummy · 14/11/2007 19:00

I am sure his mate that gets hold of these dvds will not miss ONE dvd (the one i binned) and no I don't feel guilty for snapping it in half.

OP posts:
pointydog · 14/11/2007 19:01

okeh

that's not so bad

normabutty · 14/11/2007 19:03

Regardless of whether DH's mate will "miss it" or whether you feel guilty or not, you destroyed his property. There isn't any justification for that.

Lulumama · 14/11/2007 19:04

oh well, lets hope he as understanding about it as you hope he is

Original poster
AngryLittleMummy · 14/11/2007 19:09

What exactly will he do about it, err, nothing. My DH wil cop it not me haha and he deserves it.

OP posts:
RosaTransylvania · 14/11/2007 19:09

I can't believe some of you people. ALM had every right to do what she did. I would do the same thing. Despite what some on here seem to think, not only does every man not use porn, but it is a perfectly valid point of view to not want your partner to have something they find demeaning to women in the house.
I can't be the only unreconstructed feminist who finds the normalisation of porn in today's society disturbing, surely?

Lulumama · 14/11/2007 19:11

you are revelling in destroying someones elses property and calling your DH a perv, and not talking to him

i think you are being totally unreasonable

but chacun a son gout...

normabutty · 14/11/2007 19:13

RT - she had NO right to destroy someone else's belongings.

Original poster
AngryLittleMummy · 14/11/2007 19:14

It looks like its just you and me rosa. I admit i don't like porn and find it demeaning to women but dH argues that THESE women don't have to do what they do.

I don't know what to think about porn stars, do the women get forced into it then to feed a drug addiction, or what?

I know he watches it but he assures me MOST men do .

OP posts:
normabutty · 14/11/2007 19:14

ALM, tbh I think you're being extremely childish about it all.

GibbonInABloodSoakedRibbon · 14/11/2007 19:14

Bit of both - Porn doesn't bother me a jot but if my child saw it I'd be mad.

however - breaking the dvd was not on.

Also...what has happened to my fluffy lulu!?!

normabutty · 14/11/2007 19:15

RT - if she doesn't want porn in the house then the way to deal with it is to talk to her dh and explain her feelings and for him to respect them.

Santasmissyontheside · 14/11/2007 19:21

I was absolutely gutted when i found out hubby had been watching porn when i stayed at mums one night. Still upsets me. Whether its normal or not