AIBU?
DH swore at me for waking him up. Was I unreasonable?
Dazzband · 18/04/2021 11:33
DH wakes up at 5.30 am everyday to go to work. He did some overtime on Saturday. He fell asleep on the sofa last night - I woke him up at 10 am to help me with our 2 DDs. He went mad
and said I was selfish for waking him up. Was I in the wrong?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Warsawa31 · 18/04/2021 11:38
If he worked 6 days prob wouldn't have hurt to let him have a lay in to be honest.
If he swore at you but dropped it rather than sulking etc then it's over and done with - no ones perfect and it's not a massive deal unless it's a regular occurrence. Some people swear at each other some don't and it's up to you if it's something you draw a line at
MrBond · 18/04/2021 11:45
He was on the sofa? YANBU. You and the kids can't be expected to tiptoe around him all morning.
To my mind, YANBU even if he was in bed tbh, depending on the ages of the DDs. Our entire family gets up at 05:30 on weekdays, every weekday. Ten is a reasonable lie-in in my book, if you've got small children. When is your break?
AmyandPhilipfan · 18/04/2021 11:47
I have this a lot and I do seethe about it a bit - when my husband has a day off he often stays in bed until 12 leaving me to deal with 3 kids. Well, two are 12+ so only the 3 year old really but even so. Last week he’d been up late watching wrestling so I let him sleep in as he worked long days. But at 1pm I woke him up and told him that there’s having a lie in and there’s taking the piss and he was completely taking the piss staying in bed that long. Fortunately he did feel a bit guilty at sleeping that late! He does work 12 hour shifts so I cut him a bit of slack but I do think he could make the effort to get up a bit earlier on his days off!
But, I think if your husband gets up that early every day of the week plus did overtime on Saturday then I’d have left him until at least midday. He probably is quite sleep deprived and if I’m honest I’m always grumpy if I’m woken up from a deep sleep so it’s not great he swore at you but I’d put it down to extreme tiredness as long as it’s not a regular occurrence.
rainbowthoughts · 18/04/2021 11:47
I'm assuming he wasn't still on the sofa as OP said she woke him specifically to help with the DC, not because he was in the way.
I always left DH to sleep, even when we were both working because his hours and shifts were awful and he didn't get anywhere near enough sleep. That's said, if I needed help with the SC and woke him, he would just get up and help.
There are too many variables here though.
Do you also work? How old are the children? Do you need help with them all the time? Is this a situation you could have managed alone but just woke him up anyway?
MissyB1 · 18/04/2021 11:51
Dear me how precious some people are about sleep! My dh is a hospital Doctor, lack of sleep is a normal part of his life. He’s always helped with our kids, he did night feeds, getting up early etc regardless of how many hours he had put in that week. His opinion has always been that you don’t get to be “off duty” with kids.
Anyway can’t bear anyone swearing at their partner especially over something so trivial. It’s an aggressive behaviour in my book, I wouldn’t tolerate it. He would be getting a very sharp clear warning from me.
rainbowthoughts · 18/04/2021 11:54
Dear me how precious some people are about sleep! My dh is a hospital Doctor, lack of sleep is a normal part of his life. He’s always helped with our kids, he did night feeds, getting up early etc regardless of how many hours he had put in that week.
It's not a competition here. Some people function better with more/less sleep then others. Your DH isn't indicative of every persons sleep needs.
His opinion has always been that you don’t get to be “off duty” with kids
No, he is not wrong. However when there is another adult present you are allowed to sleep.
MrBond · 18/04/2021 11:55
@MissyB1
Anyway can’t bear anyone swearing at their partner especially over something so trivial. It’s an aggressive behaviour in my book, I wouldn’t tolerate it. He would be getting a very sharp clear warning from me.
This
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.