Neighbours dog weeing on fence

[binkyblinky]

Hi all! Who is BU, me or my husband!

We moved into our new home in October.

Brick wall on right and end of the garden, shared wooden fence with concrete posts with neighbours.

The garden was newly turfed but I noticed a dead patch next to the fence. The developers came round for another issue, I mentioned the dead grass, and he showed me a stain on the fence where he said there's an animal weeing - it must be next door's dog.

I didn't like the turf right up against the fence anyway, so the developers dug in a small border for us.

I sent a picture to next door, who are a really lovely young couple in their 20s, and asked could they try to keep the dog from weeing on the fence, I said we'd had a border put in as he'd killed the grass, but that it wasn't a massive issue. They were really apologetic and said they'd try to stop him'

The dog is still peeing there, worse than ever. I won't be able to plant anything along that border!

My hubby is getting really cross about it, I don't want to fall out with my neighbours as it's a new estate and community so important! Hubby is telling me to go and speak to them or he will, and he won't be as nice about it as I am 🥺

How do I deal with this

Dogs pee against lampposts, fences, bins and all manner of things. So do most other animals... what exactly is it that you suggest they do? Can you not put something like a screen against the fence for protection?

For anyone criticising me, totally unfair. I've already had a good portion of my lawn removed because I didn't want to cause an issue. I'm a nice person, and the neighbours are lovely. I'm just asking who is being reasonable, me, for not wanting to say anything, or my husband who is getting really fed up with seeing dog wee dripping into our garden, where our lawn used to be.
I wanted advice on the best way to approach it, but thanks to everyone being nasty. You have no idea of people situation s.

@binkyblinky

For anyone criticising me, totally unfair. I've already had a good portion of my lawn removed because I didn't want to cause an issue. I'm a nice person, and the neighbours are lovely. I'm just asking who is being reasonable, me, for not wanting to say anything, or my husband who is getting really fed up with seeing dog wee dripping into our garden, where our lawn used to be. I wanted advice on the best way to approach it, but thanks to everyone being nasty. You have no idea of people situation s.

I must admit op. I wish I had this problem. I'd swap any number of mine for this problem.

I'd be pissed off but I don't like dogs.

You don’t want to say anything, your husband does.

So tell him to do it himself.

I suspect he won’t, I doubt the neighbours will be bullied the way he appears to bully you (and he knows that) - ‘telling’ you that you’d better have a word with them or he will and he won’t be as nice as you.

He sounds like an absolute bellend.

Yes, he is. I've just come to bed in tears over it. And then I get to read messages from 'lovely' people like @mn81987 calling me a dick. Well fuck you, I'm done with this. No such thing as a safe space anymore is there.

You can't really demand where a dog wees in his own garden. You removed your bit of lawn by choice. You could have easily saved it!
Let your DH be as mean as he wants .....

@mn81987 you have absolutely NO idea what other people are going through in their lives. None at all. How dare you call me a dick and pathetic. HOW DARE YOU! Or do you enjoy bullying people? You'd probably get on well with my husband.

I wouldn't be getting in a tizzy with something such as this. You can't be stopping a dogs normal peeing behaviour. I have in the past,had issues with some dead grass on a lawn, caused by dog pee, but it will grow again, if you get the dead grass out,and put some grass seed down. I know it's not what you would like to be having to do. Fences are not a real problem, as dogs will always be cocking their legs up on fences and tree trunks,, they like car tyres as well, !!

@binkyblinky

Yes, he is. I've just come to bed in tears over it. And then I get to read messages from 'lovely' people like *@mn81987* calling me a dick. Well fuck you, I'm done with this. No such thing as a safe space anymore is there.

OP.... This is the risk you take posting anything in AIBU to be fair. It's not known for being the kindest or gentlest corner of MN!

Hopefully a good night's sleep will see you with a little more perspective in morning. And tell your DH to do his own complaining!

Put one of those lawn queens on the area every day to dilute it. Unless the dog is the size of an elephant I can't believe it would pee so much that a bit of water can't sort it.

This is something that would annoy me but I wouldn't get into a row with my neighbour about it. Unfriendly neighbours are a lot more trouble than a bit of dead grass.

@mn81987

I don't think it's OP who is the pathetic dick here....

Honestly wonder if this is “the straw that broke the camels back” type thing..

Neighbour is unlikely to be able to 100% stop a dog peeing on a certain spot in their garden, dogs not going to listen to reason and obviously if it’s off leash in the garden it’ll go where it likes. Yes they could block that space off.. but he might just go on a different bit of the fence.

What about raised planters? Box it in on the sides deep enough that you’ve got a good bit of soil before the dogs patch and plant some nice fragrant plants? Build in benches further down make it a feature? Railway sleepers, deck boards, cheap ton bags of compost n some paint... plus plants.

But if he wants to police it send him to do his own dirty work.

@Jumpers268

One of dogs wees on the fence that is shared with next door neighbours. I've managed to reduce it by putting a plant weed pot next to where he likes to go and that has helped. My neighbours are lovely though and their cat shits in my garden all the time (I'm not fussed as I have to pick up dog shit anyway). They've also put a box flower bed on their side.

Do you have to use the word 'shit?!'

Get over it or fill the gap, this is such a non issue.

Karlsten urine repellent, stop cats and dogs stops repeated urinating 100% Natural Enzyme urine Eliminator Anti Fouling spray 500ML https://smile.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08BZKTX63/ref=cmswwrcppapiglcciDEVTMW0B4MAZ6NV2T17K

You can buy sprays like this to deter dogs from peeing on things, you could buy and spray the fence/concrete your side and hope it puts him off? We have a giant breed dog, we counter the damage by watering the lawn well and spraying down the fence daily (in summer when not raining every day or so anyway). If you plant plants in the border keep them well watered and it will dilute the effects. There are certain hardy plants unbothered by dog pee. Hope you get sorted so you can enjoy your garden.

@binkyblinky I'm more concerned with the fact that you admit your DH is a bellend who bullies you to tears, yet you've recently bought a new house with him? (I noticed you mentioned developers so presuming it's a new build, meaning your house purchase was fairly recent??)

You don't have to put up with his behaviour OP. There are safe places you can go who will provide everything you need. DM if you need to talk

I don't understand why grass would be dying? My ddog has wee'd against the same post daily for 7 years and it is not stained and the grass grows if anything faster than the rest of the lawn! Never had a patch in my garden. It's really hard to get dogs to stop if there's a favourite spot plus other dogs might being going their which encourages further scent marking. Scrubbing and disinfecting the fence might cover the scent to stop the cycle of scent marking over the previous dog

@moochingtothepub

I don't understand why grass would be dying? My ddog has wee'd against the same post daily for 7 years and it is not stained and the grass grows if anything faster than the rest of the lawn! Never had a patch in my garden. It's really hard to get dogs to stop if there's a favourite spot plus other dogs might being going their which encourages further scent marking. Scrubbing and disinfecting the fence might cover the scent to stop the cycle of scent marking over the previous dog

Female dogs' urine kills grass. Well known fact. Some make dog's urine does too

@moochingtothepub

I don't understand why grass would be dying? My ddog has wee'd against the same post daily for 7 years and it is not stained and the grass grows if anything faster than the rest of the lawn! Never had a patch in my garden. It's really hard to get dogs to stop if there's a favourite spot plus other dogs might being going their which encourages further scent marking. Scrubbing and disinfecting the fence might cover the scent to stop the cycle of scent marking over the previous dog

markandchappell.com/pet-tips/dog-tips/how-to-stop-dog-urine-killing-the-grass/

@TokyoSushi

I think you're going to have to leave this one OP, you can't really tell them where their dog can wee in their own garden, just find something suitable to plant on your side!

This.

You and your husband being unreasonable, I'm afraid.

@Laggartha

Is it not more likely that the concrete base and shallow soil is more likely the cause of dead grass? If dog pee could do this, you wouldn't get grass growing at the bottom of bollards on our local park.

Yup, it is MUCH more likely that this is the issue, plus potentially whatever was used on the fence to preserve it has dripped down killing the grass around the fence.

Turf has to be treated very very gently and if its been turfed (and its not really the season to be doing that anyway, the grass is only just waking up, turf cut earlier in the year will be struggling) and then abused by builders, poisoned by fence preservative, struggling for nutrients due to shallow soil... theres the issue.

If you were my neighbour I'd agree to hose the fence down/jetwash it more regularly but that'd be it - my yard, my dogs can pee where they like and there is no way in hell I am going to stand out there billiontythree times a day when each one wants a piss on the off chance one of them pisses up the fence instead of on the dog bog.

I would also be jetwashing with Odorkill... if it washes under your fence it is likely to kill stuff growing in the border - the fault there being the fence should go all the way down and slightly below the ground level so that stuff cannot wash under.

I suggest as I said before, fix the gap under the fence with some mortar, gravel your bed and put some hardy pots on there.

Or you know let your bully of a husband go and shout at the neighbours having lived there all of two minutes, and get labelled as the loony dog piss obsessed neighbour...