to expect working mums to sort out their childcare

[nametaken]

Is it just me or do any other SAHMs get really annoyed when they get the 3 o clock phone call saying "oh can you pick XXXX up from school her nan/CM/school club can't because blah blah blah.

I mean, they choose to work - I'm a SAHM because I have 3DC and it would be a nightmare trying to organise childcare and I wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone.

I finally fell out with my friend today after one imposition too many. How nice of her to have me to pick up the slack week in week out and then when she finally feels guilty about all the unpaid childcare she asked me to do she swans off and treats her DD and my eldest DD to a cinema visit and meal!!!!!!! Something I would love to do but haven't got time to organise cause I'm too busy doing the drudge boring work.

Working mums - please don't think for a minute I've got anything against you - it's just a rant against the 3rd working mum in 3 weeks to need a favour from me.

I always used to do this because I thought "oh, well if I ever need something I can always ask them" BUT !!!!! I don't ever need anything.

Be honest, does anyone really think that SAHMs should be helping out working mums when their childcare falls through or am I just being evil.

wow, bullying and name calling! How mature! I thought we were sharing experiences here, not ganging up on people. Namesake has apologised twice for causing offence and admits she wrote the generalising part in anger. Isn't that good enough? Or is it sahm's in general that annoy you all ? Your bullying/ ganging up attitudes are even worse than the one's at my dc's school! This isn't the first time I have experienced this on MN.... WTF is going on?

"is it sahm's in general that annoy you all"

I don't think all the people who have disagreed with the OP are WOHMs...? IIRC lots of SAHMs and part-timers have posted too...? Or do you have an issue with WOHMs you would like to share with us moonstruck?

Moonstruck haven't you noticed the OP's comments about her ex-friends house, car, clothes, shoes, lifestyle?

Don't you think that might have prompted some of the reaction.

The OP has quite rightly apologised for conflating the SAHM/ this woman issue. She hasn't given an explanation as to why she's conflated all the other things with the childcare/ taking the piss issue.

anniemac in my job I don't have many important meetings TBH, but every so often one crops up and then we tend to have a case of sod's law.

the op as penis envy masquerading it as she who has larger dick avec SAHM status

No, I haven't had time to read alll 100 posts, i admit it1 I was resonding more to name sake being called an idiot and someone attacking me because I mentioned that a few WM'S do I have met have actualluy treated me like I do nothing all day. Any opinions I have Yong Visitor I have out here in black and ahite including the part that said I have wm frinds who I help out and we support each other. My comment about you all having a problem was aimed at the people who have been really rude and offensive...howevwe, i am big enough to admit that I read the high heels post post posting (if you see what I mean) and namesake, I do find that a bit...prissy

Is calling someone an idiot really rude and offensive? And bullying? Really, really?

Good job I didn't call her a fucknosed fartdonkey then, really. Which I'm not. Obviously.

Hee hee

You're good at insults you are

to the op. i dont think you are evil at all.
it's just like someone phoning up to say they are still at the shops, and can you pick up their dc.
once in a while is fine. regularly is not.

Has anyone mentioned Dads here? Why is childcare a female issue?

My dp took a day off last week as our dd was unwell. He does not get paid for this and I would have. It pisses me off that his family were surprised at this.

Sorry, I've changed the issue haven't I?

You see it is comments like the OP which make me feel guilty about the fact that DS gets invited to friends houses and I am never in a position to reciprocate . I am currently hoping that killing myself to make DS's birthday party special (as in effort, not throwing money at it) will go some way to make it up - but it appears it is the mothers I should be making it up to. Can't win [sigh].

thread juxtaposition:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/67/419052

and

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/2724 /418881

sheesh.

No I declare that I am off with sick child. I do not get holidays as I am a teacher. Ridiculous I know but apparently all those 'holidays' are just days I do not work. I therefore cannot owe them the time off.

I really appreciate being treated well by my employers.

Most of the time it's no skin off my nose if I bring home more than my own children. View it as an impromptu playdate.

Happy to help out if needed.

Have done my own last minute panic phone calls, despite not working.

Harder to sort out childcare when necessary as a SAHM I reckon.

Pukkapatch - I don't know what job you used to do (assuming you did), but for most people being at work is NOT like being at the shops. That is just a ridiculous comparison.

I am fortunate in that both my sister and parents live nearby to DS and DD's nursery. I very rarely have problems collecting my children, and have never had to ask one of my SAHM friends - yet. However, in my situation, and I'm sure there are many many parents in my situation, by the time anyone realises there is a problem picking the kids up from nursery it is way too late for me to do anything other than phone someone in an emergency since I work 90 minutes drive from home and nursery.

For many working mums it is a case of "damned if you do, damned if you don't". If I ask someone else to pick up my kids they think that my work is more important than my children but, if I leave work early my colleagues think I'm skiving and taking the proverbial. It is a constant balancing act and it's very difficult to get it spot on every time.

I've had a couple of brandys now and am feeling a bit more mellow so I'm going to bed now

Goodnight
God Bless
Hugs
Love
and sending good vibes and karma to all

sweet dreams everyone

I can completely understand why youre upset about this, but I do think its more of a personality thing rather than a WOHM/SAHM thing. People in life do often take the piss and ask too much of others, but then its our perogative to deal with that in a way that makes us comfortable. Some people (like others hear) love to be the one who can help out in a crisis. I dont mind to now and again. But if its becoming more than youre happy with, you need to learn how to say no. Ive only just learned this skill. It will help your friendship because there will be no hidden resentments.
Its not just about saying no to favours, but other things too like demands on your time. Im a SAHM and I always felt expected to do things with the playgroup, lunch at other mums houses etc, when what I really wanted to do was time to myself in the afternoon while DD napped.

nice op - now we know why society's becoming so atomised
hey - every day, in every way - making the world a better place
you've really encouraged me to go get that full-time job i was after
not

ok - i retract a lot of that - read through the posts again
stuff going on re applying for jobs that i'm worried about and i went off at a tangent
sackcloth and ashes............