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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I pay him back?

220 replies

namechangemoney · 02/02/2021 20:39

When Covid hit my hours were reduced at work and I went down to 80% salary.

DH and i decided I would reduce my monthly mortgage contributions by the missing 20% and he would cover it. Ive recently learned that my company is kindly paying me back 10% of the earnings as a one off bonus.

Should I give that back to him?

For reference (which I think makes a difference)

We split mortgage 50/50
He pays all utility bills
We split all food / holidays / treats 50/50
He earns 100k more than me (I don't earn much) and has significant savings

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 02/02/2021 20:41

He earns 100k MORE than you, and you split bills 50/50? Is this a wind-up?

Original poster
namechangemoney · 02/02/2021 20:42

@funnylittlefloozie I don't pay any bills - internet / gas / water etc.

We split mortgage repayments 50/50

OP posts:
Pebbledashery · 02/02/2021 20:44

Based on his earnings of 100k.. I'd say keep the money for yourself and maybe just buy him something nice.
You're a lovely person for thinking of this.

BlueTimes · 02/02/2021 20:45

I think you should at least offer because it feels deceitful not to.

Then I think you should look at having your bills based on an income percentage.

MarcelineMissouri · 02/02/2021 20:45

He earns 100k more than you and you are basically splitting things 50/50?!? HE has significant savings - are they not yours too??

I think there is a much bigger problem here than just whether you should pay back that 10%.

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 02/02/2021 20:45

He earns £100k and expects you to go 50/50 with the mortgage. What a tight rotten bastard. . Definitely don't pay the 10% back

MrsTWH · 02/02/2021 20:46

Are you joking?? He earns 100k more than you and you’re paying 50:50? That’s outrageous. So you’re left with very little and he’s rolling in savings and disposable income.
I wouldn’t live with that, it would be a dealbreaker for me.

My DH earns more than 100k more than me. We are a team, we keep an equal amount back for personal spends every month and everything else goes in joint account to pay all bills, and joint savings. I also pay into personal savings as my rainy day/escape fund if ever needed. I spent years as a SAHM, why should he sit on a mountain of savings while you have none?

nimbuscloud · 02/02/2021 20:47

Are the savings in joint names?

Ilikewinter · 02/02/2021 20:48

In your situation no i wouldn't be paying back the 10%...... nor would i be paying 50% of the mortgage. I think you need to reassess this and look at splitting it % wise according to your income.

Orchidflower1 · 02/02/2021 20:49

Maybe chat about it and use it as an opener to reevaluate your contributions. Why not have all money into joint account and percentage out instead?

Suzi888 · 02/02/2021 20:53

50/50 split ... HowConfused does that even work..
no I’d keep it! Grin

TiddyTid · 02/02/2021 20:54

Wtf?? I earn 80% more than my DH and I pay 80% of the bills. It's not hard!

ForTheLoveOfWine · 02/02/2021 20:56

Keep it Grin and find a nicer DH!!

ShemShem · 02/02/2021 20:58

I'd ask if he wants it back

And if he says yes pay it back

Why wouldn't you?

Dogonahottinroof · 02/02/2021 21:00

@TiddyTid

Wtf?? I earn 80% more than my DH and I pay 80% of the bills. It's not hard!
Thats still not fair Pool money, pay bills and split what is left (or just have totally joint money)
Bubbles1st · 02/02/2021 21:00

I think when it comes to paying a mortgage and keeping equity fair there is nothing wrong with people paying 50/50 regardless of income. OP doesn't pay any other bills so that makes a difference.

I would offer to pay the 10% but I would like to think he will decline.

tummyaches · 02/02/2021 21:02

No you shouldn't pay it back

Why don't you have equal access to money?

You should pool money, pay bills and split what is left.

Are the savings in both your names?

IMissFrance · 02/02/2021 21:02

You what?!

My husband earns less than £10k more than me and he pays more into the joint every month because of it.

And all our savings are joint.

pinkandblueflowers · 02/02/2021 21:03

This is crazy. No don't pay him back especially if u don't earn much keep it

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 02/02/2021 21:03

Pay it into your pension.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 02/02/2021 21:06

Are you kidding me?!!? Shock
You really need to rethink this whole set up.

yahyahs22 · 02/02/2021 21:08

Aww. Your husbands blessed to have you. Considering you sound like you're a decent person who likes to do the right thing regardless of consequence, offer? Hopefully he won't take it if his kindness matches yours. But you'll feel so much better offering whether he takes it or not.

Ileflottante · 02/02/2021 21:08

Keep it. For the love of god, keep it.

Palavah · 02/02/2021 21:10

What happens about spending money for standard stuff like socks and jeans, and hobbies and holidays?

Bookwords · 02/02/2021 21:12

So you spend all your money and he saves most of his?

What part of marriages to some people have?

Do not pay him back and start saying you want your own savings and reduce your input accordingly.

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