hi pixela, first of all i would like to pass my condolences at your miscarriage. A terrible time - i am sure that there are many emotions that are tied to that.
I hope not to come accross as patronising - but unfortunaltey when one mentions the infamous "been there done that" slogan it in itself seems patronising when it isn't meant that way - so whatever you read - i dont mean it that way!
first of all if you really want something and a million posters on here say " stop, wait, listen, my experience is a negative one dont do IT!!" and 1 or 2 say " piece of piss this baby lark"
your going to go with what you want to hear.
I think your grieving and i also think that you feel guilty - it is an unnecessary guilt but its probably there.
If you are already pregnant - then i wish you a happy pregnancy easy birth and many sleep filled nights and not so many crappy nappies
if your not, i would urge you to re-consider your life plan.
If you want whats best for your baby and your babies future you should really honestly and truly consider your own financial security first.
as you have already experienced..life is a funny thing and it throws all kinds of seven shit sideways from sunday your way.
I was pregnant at 16 had a baby at 17, i hae had a huse reposessed, i have been married for 18 years, i have overcome my husbands addiction to a computer, his anger arising from this - something just hapening 16 years into a marriage - i ended up ina refuge for a brief time, i have lived in rough council estates where you would never want to bring your children into the world, where saturday night entertainment is watching the firemen put out the stolen car which is on fire round the back of your house.
i have had good times - but the thing i have instilled into my children is this - HAVE MONEY before you have children. this usually means a career which can afford some longevity.
my 3 children, teenagers all now, don;t want children - becuase they dont want to be poor again - and unfortunatley that what it means to them - becuase that is what they experienced.
i went to uni with 3 children under 5 becuase i wanted todrag myself out of the cesspit which was being poor - because i didn't want my children to end up with 3 kids on a council estate - becuase thats all they know.
it was very hard. i incurred massif debt - wheich i have only just this year paid off - 5 years later. You have the opportunity to go to uni - and get it paid for. Its a grand oppertunity, one i think many many people wish they could aford their children
as good as i have done, as much as i have pulled myself up from the bootstraps , as much of the adversities i have had to overcome becuase i had children at a young age - i still cannot afford topay my daughter through university - she is 14. she will have to get a job.
I think the message to take from any of this is that a lot of us can see that you have a grand opportunity - and we are mums and as mums we do that mum thing where we talk a little too harsh to you becuase we can plainly see you are a talented person with a HUGE advantage of money for education and i think we would all be in agreement that education is key.
so please dont shout at me - i hope i haven;t come accross as shouty, and i wish you all the best.