Another long post !!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll just explain what exactly offended me and caused me to become so defensive and upset so that there's no misunderstandings. And then, I'll TRY not to post on here again.
of course i understand that people are trying to pass on their life experiences and wisdom on here etc etc to stop me making a mistake...
but what about the lady who hinted that i might be a troll with her 'trip trap' comment?:
I now find that I am going to say something I never thought I would say:
TRIP TRAP.
So many have wasted so much time on this.
and the person who said:" Sounds to me like you are not at all ready for motherhood" and another person: "I've got to say at this point that it's here that you're showing how painfully young you are and how little idea you have of what having kids will be like." - after i've already said i've been pregnant before, lost a baby and am now 5 days away from finding out if im pregnant again or not?
and CappuScream who said: You seem to think that motherhood is not going to be mindnumbingly banal. It is. It's lovely, but it is also mindnumbingly banal. Especially if you are skint - assuming that because im young that im going to be poor and unfortunate.
and again CappuScream - oh I know we are not supposed to say that you are young or naive. But if you come out with stuff like that? Honestly just read it again.
You really think that a night at Glastonbury is comparable to the possibility of 2 years of broken sleep, the constant ties of a colicky crying baby, with no money?
If you want to be treated like an adult on here you have to think twice before coming out with crap like that.
??? not hurful.....yeah. right.
and cappuscream again - "but like an 18-year-old, Pixie seems to be saying that she knows better than anyone older or more experienced than her, including those on here who are trying to advise her, and that is what makes her youth most obvious" - when did i say i know better than anyone older than me? i was just trying to explain to all of you the sort of person that i am and justify my reasons for wanting to be a mother (which no one should have to do except to social services!)
and again scaryscarynight making fun of me: "Add money worries to that, as you have no education, and too tired to work the tills at your local grocery store, and find childcare too expensive.....
The Glastonbury Festival Euphoria will seem a long way off! And then you realize, oh my flipping heck, no more festival happyness ever again as that is no suitable place for a baby...." she says i have no education (i do, and alot more than some people), she insinuates that i'll be working at a supermarket....?? and that i won't be able to afford childcare. All assumptions by the way...for all she knows I could be flipping Paris Hilton!
And the debate about whether a festival is a good place for a baby is completely diff. subject but i've seen PLENTY of happy babies and mothers at festivals. tens of thousands of people take their babies to various festivals every year!
someone else said: "no-one here is treating you like a child, so please don't act like one" - when almost everyone here was treating me like a child, not as an adult who is capable of making her own decisions.
some one else said I was bitter...and that i needed professional help! I may get depressed sometimes after my miscarriage.. and im not denying that but that made me feel like they think i should be sectioned or something! lol.
and:" I thought you said in your OP that you wanted to be a freelance photographer
if you are geniune then your ideas are all over the place" - i said i wanted to do some freelance photography - so suddenly I can't do anything else as a career? that comment made me feel like i was unstable.... how unencouraging and judgemental ?
along with:
"I have read your profile and it seems to me that you are not particularly grounded at the moment."
"I honestly believe that you are not well."
"you need some help, you need to get some perspective"
"i dont think a baby is the right thing for you"
"lurching from miscarriage to pregnancy isn't necessarily the right thing to do"
All those messages don't seem too harsh, but to me...they really hurt. Especially as I never asked for advice about whether i should become a mother or not in my OP - come people just had to throw their 2 cents in anyway and make me feel inadequate and unstable - which I am not.
I will finish my post - the last post (i hope) that I'll have to make on this thread - with a comment from another user (Flier):
"I don't think that telling this woman that she should not be trying for another baby is the right thing to do here, as she says they have been trying for 2 months and will find out in 5 days if she is pg or not. Yes, she should be getting some counselling, but that is not what she posted the orig message for."