I think for me, there were “pointers” but it was only some ten years or so, following my son’s diagnosis that I spoke to my gp. I can (and do) function perfectly well in the world. I was in a job which was person oriented but I was much better at practical work than emotional support. Having said that, I was often a great comfort to Drs/patients/relatives who would say “I’m so glad you’re on duty Sister... I know things will get done”.
I was crap at the social side of work and would be exhausted after attending them and work meetings where I was responsible for the event. Front of house was never my forte 😊
I used to sing in a choir. Loved it. One night after a recital, when we were all at the pub, I just left. I absolutely couldn’t stand it any longer. When I got home, DH said “where’s your coat? You must be frozen!” I was in such a hurry to “slip” away unnoticed that I just left it there. I can only say, that in a “role” where there’s defined criteria, my Aspergers is pretty undetected. Take me out of the role and I’m lost because I don’t “get” chit chat...cues...nuance... I’m often genuinely confused by what is the right thing to do/say.
I remember telling Sarah Hendrix who diagnosed me that I’d often rehearse conversations and intonation in terms of speech delivery, before I entered a situation. I thought she’d think I was potty. She didn’t. Not at all. She said it was all part of masking...being “prepared” for what other people do “naturally” and in the moment. She wasn’t surprised that I am such a good mimic/impersonator. It was all borne from my ability to watch and copy so that I might assimilate; be acceptable. DH is always astonished by my singing. I do an excellent Judy Garland and Ella Fitzgerald! 😊
As I’ve gotten older, because I have my diagnosis, I feel able to say “actually, no... I can’t do that or stay over or even visit” where before I’d go along with something and then be exhausted afterward and need to switch off totally.
As a kid, I went to boarding school. Well known ballet school. Got a scholarship aged 10. Every day we did the same thing in the same sequence for the same length of time. Warm up. Barre. Plié. Tendu. Battement frappe. On and on. I ought to have known then 😊. If there’s one thing we love... it’s unchanged routine. In the holidays when I was home, I’d do the same thing. All in sequence. I could have skipped rondejambe... but it would completely throw me 😂😂😂
My DS and I used to visit a website called The Girl With the Curly Hair Project. I’ll try to post a link. I knew I fitted right in with all of the memes and videos and chat. It actually felt lovely to know I wasn’t that unusual.