Hiding from people-not normal is it 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Newyearsameme2021]

Feeling quite embarrassed to be writing this, but wanting to check that my ‘Quirks’ weren’t totally weird.
For example, if we see people we know when we’re out, for a walk or whatever, my first instinct is to want to hide from them 🤷🏻‍♀️I sometimes feel so awkward, is that normal? It really depends what mood I’m in but the majority of the time I’d rather not bump into people I know. I suppose I have social anxiety? I’ve had friends all my life but don’t greatly love social situations unless I’m really in the mood. If I’m in a certain mood, it can take all my nerves/energy to even meet up with a good friend for a coffee, a friend who I know loves me and we have a great time and I always feel better afterwards..what’s wrong with me? Does anyone else feel like this?
I also hate if people just ‘Drop by’ to the house and we rarely have anyone aside from family over.
I was always a strange mix of quite shy at some points when younger and outgoing. As a teen I was out every night with a big group of friends..
I’m worst socially at work and can sometimes barely feel like having a conversation, I hate making other people feel awkward and am surprised I have any friends at all, being like this.
What’s wrong with me and why can’t I just be easy and outgoing like other people?

Course you're not 'abnormal.' We are all different.

You just sound very introverted, and that's not a bad thing. It can limit your life a bit though... make you miss out on fun, socialising etc.

As long as you are happy it's OK I guess. Are you?

I am very similar. I have turned around and started walking the opposite way to where I want to go to avoid people before, they can people I get on with fine but I hate seeing people out of context and when it’s unplanned.

I have social anxiety and I think I am quite introverted as I find social situations quite draining, although I can be outgoing whilst in a group so I’m not sure others always realise how introverted I am; like you in my teens I was very social, big group of friends and always out but as I get older (I’m now early 30s) I find myself less and less confident in social situations. Now I am usually an anxious wreck beforehand worrying about socialising, will usually be okay once actually doing the social thing but will then feel drained and want to shut myself off at home on my own for days afterwards to recover before socialising again. I very rarely have people over and people ‘dropping in’ unplanned is absolutely my worst nightmare.

Afraid i don’t really have any advice for you but just wanted to say you’re not alone in feeling this way.

I’m similar, planned social things are great. Unplanned friend dropping by, or bumping into someone in a supermarket is awful. Don’t know why! I’ve hidden in Tesco before from someone who I consider a good friend. I just spotted her and dodged out of view. No idea why.

Yeah my reflex is to hide when I see people I know (and like) and I have always been this way.

I am exactly the same, I have lots of friends and luckily they all seem to accept me the way I am, the thought of bumping in them when we havnt actually arranged it fills me with dread!
Although I could happily chat away to a stranger no problem.
I do suffer with anxiety but I do find it tiring meeting people, for example I cannot have plans to meet more than one person in the same day, I end up so tired and usually have to have a lay down from it.
I definitely find social situations easier if it involves wine aswell 🍷😁

@littlepattilou I’m not happy to be like this, no. I feel most comfortable at home with my little family and turn down so many invitations when I shouldn’t really, but then if I see pics of people all out together, I feel low and sort of left out, but they haven’t left me out!
It seemed to have got much better when I had my Dd and I met lots of new mums and had her as my little sidekick, meetings felt easier. But then I’ll have almost a strange lull in confidence and those feelings will come back, lockdown hasn’t helped at all as we were in a good pattern of twice weekly meet ups.
When I think of my behaviour (sometimes, other times it isn’t so bad) I realise it’s not the norm and never tell anyone.
For example, I’ve had a couple of occasions where we’ve been invited to children’s birthday parties (toddler Dd and I) I’ve bought the present, got us all ready etc, then driven to the venue and driven away as I couldn’t make myself go in..never told anyone all this, even my dp.
Other times, I’m pretty confident and am ok with it or can at least force myself to be.

I want to hide if I see people accidentally when I'm out as well and I hate people just dropping by the house as well, you are not alone.

Oh yes and my family make fun of me because if they come to my mine for a coffee (when these things were allowed) they know I will only expect them to have ONE, I can't bear it when people just hang around, I prefer visiting them for this reason.

I'm desperate to move to a cottage in a forest and only interact with DH, the kids and the cats.

I really would prefer to not have to deal with people anymore - a mix of it is social anxiety and introversion, and a mix is just genuinely often not enjoying the company of other people.

(Though for all intents and purposes my DH, cats and future kids don't count as "people" for whatever reason).

Yeah I'm the same! But I bet everyone that knows me would say I'm confident and outgoing, which I am, in the right circumstances!

I think it's more-or-less normal. But if you're really struggling, you should try to seek out some counselling for social anxiety OP. x

I'm the same. I'm lucky to live down a small country lane with no pavements so nobody ever comes to drop by.

Extroverts recharge their batteries by seeing other people.

Introverts need to be away from people to recharge their batteries.

Both groups enjoy the company of others, it's just that introverts find social interactions draining and if they don't have enough mental and emotional reserves then unexpected encounters can feel unwelcome. It's just a part of who you are, it's not something to be corrected or ashamed of.

I know it sounds awful because so many people have found it so hard but I've loved the restrictions given by lockdown. Its been a relief not to have that expectation to be anywhere socially and I've also liked the bit of anonymity that wearing a face mask brings

@BillyIsMyBunny I can be totally the same at times and can work myself up before social events or very often cancel at the last minute.
I do generally find it much easier if it involves my Dd as the focus is more on her? I have to be very comfortable in someone’s company to not feel like this when meeting up.
I realise that I need it though and also wonder how it’s changed as I’ve got older, also very sociable when younger,
I go through periods where I actively make arrangements and want to do lots and others where I’d rather not leave the house.

I feel exactly the same OP. For me its exacerbated by the fact that I don't have children, so I feel like I'm judged as 'less important' in a lot of social situations. Consequently I avoid them. Strangely I am very confident at work and have no issue approaching people or being quite direct there. I have no idea why I'm like this and have often googled it

It is not abnormal. I've a friend on the school run who does this outside of school she is a nervous person it doesn't bother me some people find her rude.
My DD would prefer to be invisible too.
If you are looking for change practice some easy chit-chat scenarios at home to build your confidence.

I am the same. I wouldn’t say it was abnormal. Just everyone’s different. It sounds like you are unhappy with it though so maybe seek counselling or read self help books to help you.

I'm exactly the same. I hate unplanned social situations.

In a planned social situation with good friends I am outgoing and something of a raconteur but am an introvert really and can only do something like that about once a month and smaller 1 to1 or small group meet ups no more than once a week. In normal times obviously.

I find any social meeting tiring. Also phone calls. Zoom meet ups are exhausting but like a previous poster I am finding the lack of social activity enforced by lockdown easier than others.

I will pretend not to see people when out so I don’t have to speak to them.
Is that not normal?!

Like others I find casual chit chat with strangers or at the school gate much easier. I think I come across as confident because of that.

@Emeraldshamrock I would never actively avoid them if they’ve seen me and would out on a confident (ish) front, but in my head and sometimes to my Dp I sometimes say ‘Oh god it’s..such and such’ and it’s really not about them, generally people we know and like 🤷🏻‍♀️Hate being so awkward!

Im exactly the same! I've always thought there's something wrong with me

I don't mind strangers or associates it is family it happens with for me.
Today I'm not answering any calls or texts.

*Put