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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it's not that odd that my DDs have never been to a hairdresser ( age 10 and 13)

225 replies

NotaChocoholic · 27/12/2020 09:58

spoke to a friend last night and we got taking about hairdressers and the lockdown and I confessed that I haven't been to a hairdresser in 14 years and neither have my DDs (10 and 13).

I got quite good over the years in cutting hair. One DD has severe ASD and would not be able to cope anyways so DIY is less stressful. My other DD and I have very curly hair and I do a lovely dry curly hair cut (much better than most hair dressers - fellow curlies will know what I mean).

My friend was aghast and thought professionally groomed hair is part of a 'proper' upbringing. She didn't know about me doing our hair (I must cut well if it's not that obvious). I always thought it's quite normal what I do. Fwiw, I couldn't afford it anyways (lone parents on carers allowance).

But Aibu?

OP posts:

scrivette · 27/12/2020 19:53

My Mum usually cuts the DC's hair, over Lockdown I have given them a trim and cut my own.

I don't like going to the hairdresser to have mine cut and it's so expensive. Sometimes I have someone coming to my house to cut it though.

Kaliorphic · 27/12/2020 20:02

I don't take my kids (the ones without Sen) to the hairdresser's either. I can't see the point. I'm pretty good at cutting hair, I can do whatever it is they want, so little point wasting the money to pay someone else to do it. Particularly as they probably won't like what the hairdresser did anyway.

QuantumJump · 27/12/2020 20:03

My DD is 13 and has never been to the hairdresser. DH cuts it.

waydownwego · 27/12/2020 20:08

It's unusual not to go to the hairdresser ever, unless you can't afford it. If one of your DDs has sensory issues, I think that's a pretty understandable explanation.

With your other DD, whilst most people can't cut hair properly at home unless they're a trained hairdresser by trade, there are certain curly hair cutting techniques that are quite forgiving.

So... whilst avoiding the hairdressers seems unusual, I can understand in your case how it's happened, and why it works for you.

One question - what do you do about your own hair?

Original poster

NotaChocoholic · 27/12/2020 20:12

One question - what do you do about your own hair?

DIY (curly technique too). I got asked this time alone twice where I get it done

OP posts:

MrsClatterbuck · 27/12/2020 20:12

My mum took me to a hairdresser when I was about 8 or 9. I had medium length hair which she cut really short before my mum knew what was happening. I got a school photo taken shortly after. People used to say to my mum about her wee boy when they saw it. It was a while before I was taken to the hairdressers again and it was a different one. My DF was not amused. I usually went just for a trim after that and didn't start going.
properly until I started work.

MrsClatterbuck · 27/12/2020 20:15

I'm actually envious of the fact that during lockdown you were able to do without a hairdresser and do it yourself.

EvelynBeatrice · 27/12/2020 20:39

Good for you. I believe that most British hairdressers are not trained in how to cut or style thick curly or frizzy hair. From experience, their one idea is to straighten it by applying maximum heat frizzing it up to the max (‘just drying it off a bit prior to styling’) then having to soak it in product and rip through it with a brush at maximum heat to try and smooth down the frizzy horror they have themselves created. I’m not bitter, no ,no not at all ! I have found Greek, Cypriot and Spanish hairdressers excellent - they don’t appear to have any difficulty as curly thick hair types and dealing with humidity are more common there.
It can take years to find a hairdresser here who is trained to deal with curly hair or even modest enough to listen to the owner, so I’m not surprised that so many people give up and learn to do it themselves.

cbt944 · 27/12/2020 20:40

Gosh, people always go off here on the topic of hairdressers! This notion that it is (compulsory, apparently) a pleasure to attend a hair salon, and that you haven't found the right one if you don't enjoy it, gets trotted out every time the topic of hair comes up.

I don't enjoy it. I cut my own. I've saved a fortune the last few years. I dye it myself, too, and I do a good job of it.

I think it's brilliant you've got your own method you use, OP. It is not compulsory to attend a hair salon, like a dentist...

daisypond · 27/12/2020 20:43

I would regard cutting a child’s hair to be a basic skill that most adults could make a reasonable job of- not something you go to a professional for. It’s a bit like how you don’t take your children to a restaurant for every meal - because you can make a reasonable job of cooking for them at home.

UntilYourNextHairBrainedScheme · 27/12/2020 20:51

NotaChocoholic I'm a learning disabilities nurse and work in a residential setting with adults with learning disabilities and ASD - most go to our local hairdresser but my colleage is the only person in the world who one lady will allow to approach her with scissors. There's nothing wrong with cutting your DD's hair especially as you do it well! In terms of "experience" its no different to having a mobile hairdresser come to your house, which is what lots of families I know do - especially families with several children.

Kaliorphic · 27/12/2020 21:07

This notion that it is (compulsory, apparently) a pleasure to attend a hair salon, and that you haven't found the right one if you don't enjoy it, gets trotted out every time the topic of hair comes up.

I know. I hate going to the hairdresser's. I've always hated it. My kids hate it too. Partly because it's boring and partly because they never get it exactly how they want it anyway. I also hate spas, waxing, nail bars, and so called relaxing days of a similar type that would only appear in my worst nightmares. Not everyone enjoys this stuff at all.

Girlyracer · 27/12/2020 21:34

I don't know anyone who cuts their child's hair. They are all properly cut/styled, whether straight or curly. I have wavy/curly hair and hate it curly, it looks crap. How odd that we live in the same country and have such different experiences.

Gwenhwyfar · 27/12/2020 23:27

I don't like going to the hairdresser either. I don't see it as a treat or as being pampered, but I do appreciate getting a haircut that flatters my face, done by someone especially trained to cut hair so I do hope the non-sen girl gets to experience that as she becomes a teenager.

AwaAnBileYerHeid · 27/12/2020 23:29

@secular89 wow. Just wow. You are fucking awful. How dare you say what you just said to that other poster. How fucking judgemental and cruel.

Kaliorphic · 27/12/2020 23:47

How odd that we live in the same country and have such different experiences.

Yes isn't it odd that you live in a country where not everyone goes to the hairdresser's 🤔😂

AccidentallyOnSanta · 28/12/2020 00:22

@Kaliorphic

How odd that we live in the same country and have such different experiences.

Yes isn't it odd that you live in a country where not everyone goes to the hairdresser's 🤔😂

Absolutely mind blowing! 😬

Sweetpea1532 · 28/12/2020 03:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

NotaChocoholic · 28/12/2020 08:11

sweet pea, well that fringe alone must have been worth the experience

OP posts:

MadameButterface · 28/12/2020 15:13

“ Gosh, people always go off here on the topic of hairdressers!”

Yes they do but i find the opposite to you, everyone on mn seems to think the hairdressers is a horrific ordeal because we’re all thick and boring, don’t know what we’re doing, charge too much - i even saw one poster on one of the many ‘ugh i hate hairdressers’ threads bemoaning that the hairdresser had had the audacity to ask her what she wanted

Love from: a hairdresser who knows exactly what she’s doing with curly hair, having done lots of specialist training in my own time and at my own expense, and whose price list reflects this appropriately

Twiddlet · 28/12/2020 19:54

It would be weird if they looked like unkempt sheepdogs and their hair was a mess but you are maintaining their hair well at home so there’s really no issue at all.

UnsureAndUnsteady · 28/12/2020 20:24

I don’t think there is anything unusual at all. I cut both of my kids hair (DD 10 and DS 8 with multiple issues which means that a lot of experiences are very stressful for him). I can afford to take them to the hairdressers but for my DS it is too stressful and they never cut it the way he wants. DD wants the time and attention that DS gets when I am cutting his hair and so much prefers me doing it (even though I have suggested making a girls trip of it for some “us” time).

If you worry about your DD missing out on the hairdresser experience then do that at home too!! Set it all up for her, when she comes in the room offer her a hot chocolate, “would you like a biscuit with that madam” etc. You would both have a great laugh and I bet she would love it (and remember it) far more than a trip to a bog standard hairdresser! wonders off to find hot chocolate and set up a hairdressing salon in the kitchen

Franticbutterfly · 29/12/2020 14:41

I mostly cut my 3 Dds hair. Occasionally I take the curly haired one, but I have good hairdressing scissors and do a decent job myself and give them regular trims and do the fringe of the one who has one. I also trim my DMs hair. I don't do anything to my own though, I have my highlights and a cut done every couple of months.

BarbaraGordon · 29/12/2020 14:49

I don't think dh actually independently went into a barbers or hairdressers until his mid twenties - up to then I think a family member did it or he did it with clippers. I think at one stage I did it, which was an error!

Sweetpea1532 · 06/01/2021 08:00

@NotaChocoholic
I can't believe I thought I looked like the 5th member of The Beatles! The style was all the rage after their first appearance on the telly.
That fringe was something else...I suppose my double cow-licks might have come into play to partly cause my lovely do

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