To have thought we might get half an hour alone?

[roarfeckingroarr]

FIL is staying for 8 days. He's in good health. We have a ten week old baby who only sleeps on one of us or for a brief 10-15 min in his bouncer.

WIBU to have thought he might have said, just once, "why don't I take the baby so you two can have half an hour to yourselves?" or am I clouded by desperately missing intimacy with my OH?

You want your FIL to take your baby so you can have a shag??

If it’s for sleep rather than what the past poster says , why not just ask him if he’d mind and explain you are both shattered.

I’d be really creeped out if my FIL offered that... I don’t think I could have sex with my DH with them in the house knowing what we were doing 🙈

It’d be nice if he offered to take baby for a walk or something, I guess, but perhaps he’s nervous.

He's here for 8 days... but yes. I mean it wouldn't be phrased that way, but in essence. Half an hour surely isn't much?

I can’t imagine wanting my father
In law to take my baby so I could nip for sex.

The baby will start sleeping more predictably soon enough. Rest when you can.

I think most older men would feel a bit overwhelmed at offering to take a newborn. Plus you make it sound like you want to slip away for a quickie which is a bit ick!

OP might well mean a conversation even, I have two toddlers and I feel like I can't even communicate with my husband these days over the screaming.
Your FIL probably doesn't know you want him to take baby out. Have you asked?

Sex was the last thing on my mind when DS was 10 weeks old

Sleep I didnt worry so much about, DH and could take turns so it wasnt awful.

@LouiseTrees

If it’s for sleep rather than what the past poster says , why not just ask him if he’d mind and explain you are both shattered.

This is a good idea... ugh he leaves tomorrow though so not sure we're going to manage now.

It's been so long and I just desperately miss my husband! The baby seems to sense when we are within a metre of each other and kicks off. Maybe some sort of survival instinct to prevent us creating a sibling to compete with his place in the family.

YABVU. What FIL is going to suggest that? In any case what would you do for intimacy if he was not there if the baby cannot be left alone for fifteen minutes.

I don't think I'm a prude but that's made me cringe. Asking him to have the baby while you sleep is fine but asking him to have baby while you have sex is unpleasant.

It probably doesn't cross his mind that you're so desperate for a shag

I get loads of sleep. DS sleeps really well, just on me/DH or right next to.

Im probably BU. I just thought that he might have once offered "would you two like me to look after xxxx for half an hour or so, so you can rest / finish wrapping presents?" We're hosting him for over a week - it's not asking much.

I don’t think it would even occur to a grandparent to suggest their adult child goes off for a shag while they mind baby. Why would they even be thinking of your sex life?

I'm really sexually open, but asking a family
Member for half an hour alone, when they know exactly what you'd be doing is so creepy. Imagine walking back in after 😳 What's the conversation going to be like? Absolutely no way from me, it's made my vagina seal up just thinking about it.

How bizarre

@roarfeckingroarr

I get loads of sleep. DS sleeps really well, just on me/DH or right next to.

Im probably BU. I just thought that he might have once offered "would you two like me to look after xxxx for half an hour or so, so you can rest / finish wrapping presents?" We're hosting him for over a week - it's not asking much.

You'd go off and shag while FIL was in the house minding your baby? Seriously?

To be clear, I was not suggesting he offer to look after baby while we have sex. Eww. That is weird, I agree.

I thought he might offer to have the baby for half an hour in general. And I would choose to use that time to have sex while pretending we finished wrapping presents or napped.

“Father in law, please can you look after the baby so I can have a quickie with your son?”

Really?! I’m also cringing. I could understand if it wasn’t COVID times and you wanted to go out for an hour or two for lunch or something with your dh. Maybe your hormones are clouding your judgement!

Pretty much unanimous that I'm being unreasonable and / or weird.

I'm very tired and desperately miss feeling close to my OH. Having a baby is like taking a sledge hammer to everything. I feel sad and I'm worried about my relationship if this carries on for much longer.

Why dont you ask him if he would like to take the baby out in the pram?

Ok, cross posted.

You have a husband. Surely you know by now that many men need things spelling out usually. It probably wouldn’t ever occur to fil to offer. I mean, I think my stepdad would but it wouldn’t cross fil’s mind.

And obviously I mean, offer to watch the baby while you pop out, as it’s still very strange to want him to watch baby while you’re still in the house.

I can’t imagine wanting to have sex while my fil was in another room looking after my baby.

Bloody hell YABVU

Is this a joke?

I'm worried about my relationship if this carries on for much longer.

Seriously?