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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Secondhand jumper from SiL

225 replies

Propercrimbo2020 · 26/12/2020 00:01

So, have been married for 6 years, been with OH for 12 years, always got on with SiL, her and her OH have very good jobs (i.e. money isn’t the problem).

Present opened this morning (which was sent as they’re not local to us), ‘oh lovely’ I thought, but too small.
Looked online to see if I could contact the company direct to get a bigger size (2 sizes bigger....!) as I didn’t want to say ‘oh I like the jumper but it’s way too small’ and have to send it back to her to exchange to send back, and couldn’t find the jumper online.
Had another look at the jumper to see if there was anything to help me find it, and noticed small balls inside (you get when the jumper has been washed), a small mark on the sleeve, and also ‘been washed’ balls under the armpits (outside).

This is a second hand jumper that she’s sent to me as a Christmas present.....

OH got gin, child got a couple of (new) presents.

Am I being unreasonable feeling a bit Confused by this?

As I mentioned above, her and her husband have not got any money issues, both have very well paid jobs (that have not been effected by Covid) and we’ve always got on well.

I just feel a bit upset she’s done this, and don’t want to say anything as I’d probably end up the bad guy, but also really confused why she did?!

OP posts:
Jamiefraserskilt · 26/12/2020 00:04

Just ask her if she has the receipt or proof of purchase as it does not fit. See if it arrives. Then you know and she knows you know.

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 00:04

Email and ask for a receipt to return it

Or post it back and ask her to get you a larger size

Blag it out- ie dont let on that it is used.

Original poster
Propercrimbo2020 · 26/12/2020 00:10

I did think that, but then don’t want things to be awkward, but am also a bit annoyed....

OP posts:
FabbyMagic · 26/12/2020 00:15

Yes I would do as above

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 00:15

Is it your DHs sister?

If so her needs to get in touch and explain it doesn't fit and ask for the receipt.

Giraffey1 · 26/12/2020 00:16

Just contact her and say lovely gift, but too small... do you have the receipt so I can exchange it for a larger size? And see what happens...

Neveranynamesleft · 26/12/2020 00:18

I think its quite common to need to return something that doesnt fit. Ask for a receipt or for her to exchange it and see what happens. I'm all for recycling but that's just cheeky.

Original poster
Propercrimbo2020 · 26/12/2020 00:20

Yeah, I think I’ll do that, ask for the receipt and see what she says!
I shouldn’t feel embarrassed about doing that, as you’ve said, clothing is always a risk!

OP posts:
buckeejit · 26/12/2020 00:23

I would buy most people I know a second Hand jumper if I found one that was in good condition & a fabric/brand/colour that I knew they liked. However, I know they would mostly be happy with this as a gift, as I would be. I would also only include this as part of a gift bundle.

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 00:25

It could be that it had been returned to a store and she bought it as new?

RickiTarr · 26/12/2020 00:26

Id make a distinction between “secondhand” and “vintage” TBH.

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 00:27

@RickiTarr

Id make a distinction between “secondhand” and “vintage” TBH.
Vintage means it smells musty?
Original poster
Propercrimbo2020 · 26/12/2020 00:31

She’s always got me great gifts in the past, nothing expensive but nice ‘thought about’ gifts.
This brand is one she wears, and it’s definitely something that’s been washed a few times.....
I’ve bought myself vintage jumpers before, but her and her OH wouldn’t dream of buying anything this way (he’s got OCD so wouldn’t let her get anything other than new).

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 26/12/2020 00:34

Be interesting to see what she says about the receipt ? Or I'd blag it by saying you want to report it to the shop as the jumper has def been worn presumably returned and shock horror your SIL bought it unawares !

Wendyhause · 26/12/2020 00:35

If I buy a clothing item for a gift I leave the tag attached but will tear the price part off. I also keep receipts just in case the recipient needs to change it. A dead give away is the label inside the garment on the seam or on back of neck. So easy to see if it looks brand new or has been through a washing machine.

While on the subject, I received my usual re-gifts today from 2 family members. Pisses me off to be honest but I just grit my teeth and smile.

Nooz · 26/12/2020 00:38

Ooh. Could it be one of hers?

Is it a Burberry sort of thing? I'm trying to imagine

CausingChaos2 · 26/12/2020 00:38

How odd. Definitely just ask for the receipt as it’s too small.

SatyajitRayFan · 26/12/2020 00:41

Like others have said, I would breezily say something along the lines of loving the jumper but have put on lockdown weight so need to exchange for 2 sizes up and so need the receipt if she still has it and then see what she says.

FortunesFave · 26/12/2020 00:43

Be really positive in the email..."I LOVE the jumper...but it's too small...wondered if you had the receipt so I can swap it? It's a great gift and I really want to wear it!"

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 00:43

@SatyajitRayFan

Like others have said, I would breezily say something along the lines of loving the jumper but have put on lockdown weight so need to exchange for 2 sizes up and so need the receipt if she still has it and then see what she says.
Why lie about lockdown weight? That is weird

They gave her a second hand gift that was 2 sizes too small.

MaintainTheMolehill · 26/12/2020 00:44

Has she perhaps wrapped it by mistake and you should have received something else?

YouKnowItsTrue · 26/12/2020 00:47

She won’t have the receipt so she may say she bought it a few weeks ago and lost the receipt.

Bluntasduck · 26/12/2020 00:49

My SIL gives me shit gifts every year. Whatever

TeenageMutantNinjaCovid · 26/12/2020 00:50

@YouKnowItsTrue

She won’t have the receipt so she may say she bought it a few weeks ago and lost the receipt.
So you reply, that fine, which store was it from as I am sure they will exchange without a receipt.
bluebell34567 · 26/12/2020 00:52

Shock Hmm