Not sure how to deal with this girl

[Gloriainexcelcis]

Maybe just ignore her ?
She's a friend of a friend. Seemed like a good friend to her and I was really looking forward to meeting her.
The first time I met her she was very open, telling me all about her life and suggesting stuff we should do together. Great, I thought.
Met her a couple more times and thought she was friendly.
Always looking for new friends so I thought I would ask her for a walk and a coffee one day (both in Tier 3) plus, she had added me on social media and had been the one making those suggestions to do things.

She snubbed my invite, read it and no reply, yet was planning to meet up with the mutual friend still.
So I assumed she wasn't interested in being my friend. Stung a little and found it confusing given how she had been in person, but what can you do really.
Told all this to my friend and she said to not take it personally, she could be very scattery and up and down.
Also it's silly to say but she used to 'like' everything or most things I put on social media and then suddenly stopped fully.

She got in contact after 2 weeks saying sorry she had not read the message and had been really busy and stressed with Covid. I replied saying it was ok and trying to make conversation, and once again no reply.
Very odd really. She also cancelled on my friend several times or is often really late, but my friend is very easy-going and says it's fine.
Not really sure how to deal with her. Don't really have to see her but she's really good friends with the mutual friend.
She may have some mental health issues, thivk it's best that I just not give her any further headspace

You don't really know her.,why is it even worrying you?

What? You don’t even know her? Why are you so invested?

Also, is she under 16?

I don't know, I guess eventually i'll have to see her with the other friend as they're close friends, just not sure if she's someone to trust or not, I know I don't know her but sometimes people have ulterior motives. I think i'll just be polite and not give her any further thought.

I'm not invested, just find her behaviour towards me odd.

She's 31

People think too deeply about social media.

Not wanting to reply to every invitation or take up every suggestion is taken by some to be a snub.

Some people are genuinely too busy in their own work and home lives to commit to deep friendships and social media lives.

I think you are probably different people and massively overthinking it tbh.

I'm quite scatty and have a hectic life so find it hard to keep on top of (the sometimes hundreds of) messages I get every day. Also easily distracted (hence on Mumsnet!).

I sometimes don't reply for ages and tbh quite a lot of my friends are the same. None of us takes it personally or thinks it is odd.

I'd take her at face value, you haven't got any reason not to. If her scattiness annoys you enough not to bother with her then don't.

Have you considered the idea that she just doesn't like you? She doesn't have to be your friend, meet up with you or reply to a message even if she's read it. You sound like a teenager being 'ghosted'

She isn't working at the moment. And she replied to/met up with the other friend.
I don't think asking somebody to go for a walk is looking for deep friendship.
If somebody was brave enough to ask me to meet up I certainly wouldn't just not reply.

Also, maybe she was new to social media (hence all the likes) then got bored with it and doesn’t check it every five minutes.

I’m on FB but rarely check it.

She's a woman, not a girl.

She's told you she's really busy at the moment and apologised. What more do you want?

She doesn't have to like me, for sure.
I was saying that she seemed so insistent on us meeting up, telling me lots of personal stuff etc. For somebody who doesn't like me

I can say girl if I like.

Also, why let it worry you if you barely know her?

Maybe I am just overthinking.
But some people here are being a bit too harsh.

She had time to meet with the friend so she probably just doesn't want to, and that's fine.
However then gets in touch asking how I am only to not reply again after.

Time to put your big girl pants on and live your life with the friends you do have.

Apologies if mine was one of the replies you thought was too harsh, but what sort of responses did you expect?

“Yes. She’s being unreasonable for not responding to every message and wanting to do everything you suggest? You should tell her she HAS to be a better friend right now!”

Something like that?

Wow some posters here are nasty for no reason

@Gloriainexcelcis

I can say girl if I like.

You can. Many women find it infantilising and don't like it. I'm scatty, disorganised and regularly don't reply to messages. I don't like 'girl' for grown up women. Maybe she's me! Crap. Sorry, I'm just a bit useless.

I think I’ve given my opinion and it’s not been liked. withdraws

I don't mean this to be snarky - it is a legitimate question...do grown people actually pay attention to who "likes" their posts on social media? I will look at who liked a post but not once have I ever thought "I wonder why Gloria doesn't like my posts anymore.

Op I get it, she acted like she wanted to be friends and then randomly rebuffed you, which is confusing and won’t make you feel great.

I think best thing to do is leave her be and not give her any further thought. You can still be friendly if you bump into her again but don’t message her and don’t get into any more “deep” conversations with her.

I’ve become quite guarded around people who tell me their life story/quite personal things and saying we should meet up. It reminds me a bit of men lovebombing you and it then never coming to anything. I don’t really know why people do it but I find that it’s rarely about you and much more about them. It’s hard to make friends and it can feel quite daunting to ask someone to meet up so if you don’t hear back from them it can feel a bit wounding.

You know, it's perfectly possible to disagree or say I am overthinking without insulting me ?
'you sound like a teenager'
'are you 16?'
'she's not a girl !!'
And general aggressive comments (not all posters)
I guess people get a little brave on here and wouldn't speak to people this way IRl.

I'm not 31 so this isn't about me but it could be! I love meeting up with people in real life and would generally come across as very open and friendly to new people I meet, but I am hopeless at keeping in touch with people online, especially at the moment when so much of my interaction is online. While I would jump at the chance to go for a walk with pretty much anyone at the moment, I had a good friend who suffered with mental health issues and she'd often talk about how hard she found it to motivate herself to do anything, even things she knew she'd enjoy.

Try not to overthink it and if you meet her again with your friend just focus on being normal and friendly and maybe a friendship will grow and maybe it won't.