Not sure how to deal with this girl

[Gloriainexcelcis]

Maybe just ignore her ?
She's a friend of a friend. Seemed like a good friend to her and I was really looking forward to meeting her.
The first time I met her she was very open, telling me all about her life and suggesting stuff we should do together. Great, I thought.
Met her a couple more times and thought she was friendly.
Always looking for new friends so I thought I would ask her for a walk and a coffee one day (both in Tier 3) plus, she had added me on social media and had been the one making those suggestions to do things.

She snubbed my invite, read it and no reply, yet was planning to meet up with the mutual friend still.
So I assumed she wasn't interested in being my friend. Stung a little and found it confusing given how she had been in person, but what can you do really.
Told all this to my friend and she said to not take it personally, she could be very scattery and up and down.
Also it's silly to say but she used to 'like' everything or most things I put on social media and then suddenly stopped fully.

She got in contact after 2 weeks saying sorry she had not read the message and had been really busy and stressed with Covid. I replied saying it was ok and trying to make conversation, and once again no reply.
Very odd really. She also cancelled on my friend several times or is often really late, but my friend is very easy-going and says it's fine.
Not really sure how to deal with her. Don't really have to see her but she's really good friends with the mutual friend.
She may have some mental health issues, thivk it's best that I just not give her any further headspace

Just trying to make friends, her behaviour is confusing and hot and cold and just trying to make sense of it.

Hmm it does sound like odd behaviour on her part. I would give her the head space and reply if she messages you but wouldn't expect a response from her. Keep it civil as it were (if thats the right phrase...). In terms of planning to meet up, I wouldn't bother asking anymore if she is flaky.

Probably not a woman to have a friendship with but you tried. One of life's experiences.

I also think you barely know her so it's best not to get too invested.

I have a friend like this. She's very scatty and also always super late but it's just something I've learnt to live with. She's brilliant, very social able etc but not the most reliable person in my life. And that's ok. When I see her we have a great time, but then when I don't that's cool too. She's better in person. I can see her doing this to a friend of a friend.

People who have friends like this :
Do you think they would always be late for work etc ?
That's what annoys me, they are soo scatty and late etc. For you but when it comes to things that are important to them they wouldn't dream of it.

This girl was over an hour late, twice. Maybe i'm too difficult but why do people put up with that ? Unless there's an emergency or similar.

Sorry OP, people are being quite harsh! I think you were just seeing the beginning of a friendship with this person but she isn't reciprocal in that. And that's fine. Life's experience.

Maybe she finds you a little full on or that you don’t actually have much in common. Just because you have a mutual friend it doesn’t follow that you will be friends.

Also I think it’s a bit rude for you to assume she has mental health problems because she didn’t like your social media posts and didn’t reply to your message immediately. This year has been a lot for people, maybe making new friends isn’t her top priority.

You're right, that's fine.
I think it's just not something I would do.
I wouldn't dream of saying omg you should come over/we should go to xyz together etc. If I didn't mean it.

Full on for asking to go for a walk, once ?
I could argue she was the full-on one when I met her. Maybe she does think that about me but I guess I won't know.
She's written posts about having mental health problems and alluded to it in her msg, I am not just assuming.

Some of the people responding on this thread actually sound like they are teenagers! I really don't understand what's with the sarcastic comments?! Very sad
OP it's not you it's her. You don't really know her so I guess you're surprised by her lack of response. Personally I wouldn't bother again but don't let it stop you from connecting with others again the future.

She had time to meet up with someone who was a very good friend. She may not have had time to meet up with a friend of a friend.

There really is no reason for you to be tying yourself up in knots over this.

Just don't contact her again. If you have to see her again with your mutual friend, just act like it hasn't happened, or you're not bothered.

If you don't feel you can ignore it, let her know you were disappointed your meet up got cancelled and leave it at that.

Don't assume it's personal.

I've had a few friendships like this. I think some people are just fickle and get bored or change their minds quickly. I tend to be steady and stick to my word so I find these types irritating - especially as I tend to be very busy so keeping a day free and having someone cancel on me is a bit annoying

People say things on here they wouldn't dare say IRL. And I will defend myself even though they are not really worth it.
I guess i'm worried about seeing her again, which I may well do through my friend.
May be totally wrong but she might be jealous of my friendship with the other girl or may have just taken a disliking to me.
Oh well never mind, just wish she hadn't acted all friendly and interested.

She isn't working, she posts constantly on social media and I don't think it's a question of time sadly.

@momtoboys

I don't mean this to be snarky - it is a legitimate question...do grown people actually pay attention to who "likes" their posts on social media? I will look at who liked a post but not once have I ever thought "I wonder why Gloria doesn't like my posts anymore.

It's probably a glass half empty thing.

I have posted, 'I know you all see my posts about politics because you all Like my posts about Marmite and puppies'.

No it shouldn't matter at all I agree. I think sometimes we just 'notice' these things. Some people go out of their way to not 'like' anything anymore, even people in their 30s.
It is sad I agree.

I'm 31 and if someone called me a girl to my face I absolutely would say something. I'm an adult woman. Maybe you offended her by calling her a girl.

Haven't ever called her a girl to her face, but I understand.

Are you feeling a bit lonely, op? I know this kind of thing really got to me at a time when I felt isolated and low. That's probably true of a lot of people during COVID times

I am a bit, yes.
We are always told 'people have their own lives going on'
OK, but does that not involve friends ?
If you don't wanna get to know or be friends with somebody that's fine, but why all the gushing and the suggesting we do xyz together.

YABU to call her a girl if she’s a grown up.

Maybe my friend said something to her, who knows. Don't see the point of her sending another fake friendly message only to stop replying again.

I think there are worse things to be offended about than calling somebody a girl or a guy.

Oops cross posted with lots of others. Don’t bother with her, OP, she’s too much hard work.