AIBU?
To date when pregnant?
frabbit · 14/12/2020 19:36
I’m 15 weeks pregnant, single. Father of baby wants to be involved with baby but that’s as far as things go. We don’t see each other outside of scans and appointments, and we barely talk at the moment.
Would it be gross to consider dating? Not looking for financial support or a baby daddy, genuinely just missing the support and companionship, maybe even the attention, of a dating partner. Obviously would be taking things slow. I’ve been chatting to someone and he’s asked me out on a date. If I do go, do I tell him beforehand that I’m pregnant? Or wait to see how the date goes?
What’s the general consensus?
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Fatladyslim · 14/12/2020 19:49
Tell him! Don't trap him into being the default bad guy.
If you meet up and get on really well then tell him, if it's not something he is looking for or happy with, he will probably feel like a right arse hole. Even if he just isn't in the right place to be taking on a pregnancy partner yet.
Sceptre86 · 14/12/2020 19:51
I don't think there is anything wrong with being pregnant and dating but you should be upfront. Also maybe take the time to be on your own and prepare for your baby? Only you know if you are the type of person who always needs to be in a relationship? There are other types of companionship other than romantic maybe make time to spend catching up with friends.
Anotheruser02 · 14/12/2020 19:52
My friend met her husband when she was pregnant with her first child. I'll be honest we thought he was weird that it didn't put him off. It worked for them though and 12 years on they only had one more child so it's not like he had a preference for pregnant women.
You do need to be at peace with the idea of being a single parent though OP, your child needs to be enough and a man an extra.
VestaTilley · 14/12/2020 19:55
Obviously tell him you are pregnant.
Personally I’d be very suspicious of a man who wanted to date me when I was pregnant. But I’m a bit paranoid about predatory men trying to get access to children...
However, I wouldn’t be dating now. I’d be resting, getting baby things ready, doing socially distanced meet up’s with friends and preparing for becoming a Mum.
What will you achieve by dating now? Few men will want to strike up a new relationship with an about-to-become-first-time-mum. And I’d be suspicious of ones who do, frankly.
I honestly find your post really bizarre.
MrsGrindah · 14/12/2020 20:17
@Bizawit. Err..the OP asked fir people’s opinions. And it is quite an important detail not to mention. It’s like someone being married and separated and not mentioning it . People should tell each other significant information upfront , giving the other person the opportunity to pass if it’s not for them.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.