To date when pregnant?

[frabbit]

I’m 15 weeks pregnant, single. Father of baby wants to be involved with baby but that’s as far as things go. We don’t see each other outside of scans and appointments, and we barely talk at the moment.

Would it be gross to consider dating? Not looking for financial support or a baby daddy, genuinely just missing the support and companionship, maybe even the attention, of a dating partner. Obviously would be taking things slow. I’ve been chatting to someone and he’s asked me out on a date. If I do go, do I tell him beforehand that I’m pregnant? Or wait to see how the date goes?

What’s the general consensus?

[BigFatLiar]

Fair enough at least you tried.

Though some times you need to fan the flames.

[Wheresmykimchi]

@frabbit

Just to update, I had my coffee date. It was fine but wasn’t feeling much of a spark so it won’t be going any further.

All that for this

[frabbit]

Just to update, I had my coffee date. It was fine but wasn’t feeling much of a spark so it won’t be going any further.

[Wheresmykimchi]

[quote BobsYerUnclee]@Wheresmykimchi Yet you chose to reply to several of them. You are irrelevant, as are your shite views.

Goodbye. [/quote]

[BobsYerUnclee]

@Wheresmykimchi Yet you chose to reply to several of them. You are irrelevant, as are your shite views.

Goodbye.

[Wheresmykimchi]

@BobsYerUnclee I've not read the whole rest of the thread. I was working. And had no interest in your views after your vibrator comment.

[BobsYerUnclee]

[quote BobsYerUnclee]@Wheresmykimchi I think when you've not long conceived to a partner who you were casually dating, the focus shouldn't be on dating someone else....

I've said it before, if I needed the attention so much I'd be doing some soul searching to find out why.

We don't talk about casual sex when dating. It's beyond grim. [/quote]
@Wheresmykimchi

This is the post I was referring to. We'd already discussed the casual sex. I said I thought it was grim. You chose three times to ignore my other point. Probably because it doesn't suit you.

[BobsYerUnclee]

@Wheresmykimchi

No, you're reading this wrong. I said we wouldn't discuss it further. I already said I think it's rank having casual sex whilst you're pregnant.

You purposely keep picking up parts of my posts and then twisting them to suit yourself.

You've avoided replying to my comment about needing attention.

You dear, confuse me.

[Wheresmykimchi]

High quality journalism there DM

[Wheresmykimchi]

[quote BobsYerUnclee]@Wheresmykimchi Wouldn't discuss casual sex.

My other point was, if i was pregnant from a casual relationship, I wouldn't be looking for another. If I needed attention so desperately, I'd be soul searching to find out why that was.

[/quote]
You wouldn't discuss casual sex but you dropped the vibrator comment...you confuse me.

[Eryouwhat]

STV v by

[purpleboy]

FRABBIT don't take it to heart. People are very quick to judge without knowing the full story.
I think it's entirely up to you what you do, I think you're going into this with your eyes open, and that's all that's required at this stage, maybe you'll enjoy dating, maybe you won't, it's your life to decide what you want from it.

[Norwester]

Told ya. Brings all the sexism out.

[frabbit]

@Bizawit they really are! That’s enough of the internet for one day I think.

[Bizawit]

Oh god OP so sorry this has ended up in DM!!!

DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS. They'll be even worse than on here...

[frabbit]

Oh, and I should be putting much more effort into my relationship with the father.

I haven’t had a message back from him in over a week. I’ve called, no answer. He’s currently spending his free time drinking with his pals and ignoring the fact that we’re in a pandemic and that I’m carrying his child. Whilst he’s said he wants to be involved, I’m not sure how much more effort I can really put in.

Again, really not sure why I even feel the need to justify myself but there we go.

Thanks again to those who have had kind words, it means a lot. I’ll update with how the date goes.

[frabbit]

Oh god, I can’t believe this has reached the Daily Fail.

I should really know better but I did start to read the comments on there. Apparently I should have had a termination because the only possible reason I could be continuing with a pregnancy as a single woman is for benefits and a house.

[Norwester]

I have not RTFT past the first page.

Nothing brings out the deepseated sexism on Mumsnet like a pregnant woman who wants to date or have sex with someone other than the father of the baby. These posters need to have a word with themselves.

You can sex if you'd like - I am sure you don't need to be told about safety-first.

Feeling sexy and desired while pregnant is a great thing, nothing to be ashamed of or worried about and certainly not discouraged.

Dating is fine, and no I don't think he needs to know before the first date. If you want to see him again, then yes, let him know.

The yuck factor is 100% about sexist attitudes to pregnant women.

Enjoy your life and your pregnancy and ignore the judginess.

[Sandals19]

Lazy lazy lazy, LaToya Gayle.

And you can't even get the main facts right - she hasn't split with the father. She was not "with" the father to split.

[Sandals19]

*shit show, obviously

[Sandals19]

Not everything is black and white, and fits into your neat little idea boxes about what everybody's life should look like.

Pot, kettle.

I don't think everybody's life should look like anything and am well aware much is a messy shot show ..
However I think op should take a time out from dating at this time; that's what op asked, that's what I've answered.

[Sandals19]

Have you had some bad experiences dating @Sandals19*? You seem to have a very negative view of the process.

Yes there can be stresses and disappointments associated with dating, but there can be lots of positives too.*

As I said at the beginning of my post - the saying threads, and independent threads about old on here show common experiences. My experience on old are consistent with those common experiences.

My concern would be that the chances of op having negative experiences are equal to or greater than the chances of having positive experiences ... On the whole. I have my doubts she'll find the genuine emotional support, caring and companionship she says she's looking for -without a lengthy and destabilising search. That's not what she needs progressing through a pregnancy and with a newborn, (esp since the father and she are not on communicative, pleasant terms; they don't get on at all according to op).

[ReeseWitherfork]

Hello mum and dad meet my new girlfriend. I met this six month pregnant lady last week she is a dream!!

This comment on the DM made me chuckle. It's not a valid point but a funny one. This is the stuff crappy romcoms are made out of.