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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Accidently found my present and it's all wrong.

201 replies

kirktonhouse · 14/12/2020 11:47

I've just discovered what DH has bought and it is so wrong. I wear crocs in the house (judge away) - the last pair I bought was a new style with no holes in and they're making my feet stuffy and sweaty. I mentioned that I might get the original type but fur lined for winter. DH has taken this as a hint and ordered some for me for christmas, which is nice, but he's chosen some fur lined with no holes so will probably be more sweaty than those I moan about. They're not a colour I would have chosen - although I could live with it, and they're a cheaper knock off brand so wouldn't last as well, but more importantly they're size 3/4 and I'm 7/8.

And so to the AIBU - they're arriving today while he's at work (I got the delivery notification, that's how I found out) - do I send them straight back and 'helpfully' choose something that will at least fit and that I would want to wear? Or do I leave it to him to sort out after christmas? (he'll probably grab the box and quickly wrap without realizing). He's a great husband, but is shit at gifts.

YABU - leave it for him at christmas
YANBU - sort it now yourself

OP posts:

VeryQuaintIrene · 14/12/2020 12:02

Ugh. Presents. Stupid autocorrect.

LittleMissLockdown · 14/12/2020 12:03

I have no clear idea of my partner's shoe size

This absolutely baffles me. How can people not know their partners shoe size?

Original poster

kirktonhouse · 14/12/2020 12:04

They're not for anyone else, he's a bit shit at technology - he's been on amazon and searched for the right size but hasn't realised that you have to change the size to the one that you want in the drop down box. The kids have bigger feet than me, and I've already sorted everyone else's gifts (except for the OW's) .

Looking to see if I can arrange a return before they're delivered and had them straight back to the courier - does it work like that? Probably not.

OP posts:

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese · 14/12/2020 12:06

@notacooldad

How could your DH conceivably not know your shoe size? Dh doesn't know mine - I've just asked to double check. I'm not sure what he is come to think about it!

Same, he just said "dunno, you are the same size as my sister though" at least he knows that much. I had to double check his size last night by checking his trainers.

WhereverIGoddamnLike · 14/12/2020 12:07

You can refuse delivery, but they will probably just attempt redelivery. Ask the courier if you can refuse delivery, but really, he is your husband. You have children together. Can you not just say "I've found something out by accident, but it's actually turned out to be a good thing. I got the delivery notification for the shoes you ordered for me and they are the wrong size. They're too small for me to even try and wear so I've cancelled the order/refused delivery/ packaged them up for you to return."

Ponoka7 · 14/12/2020 12:07

Surely if you were buying your partner a pair of shoes, you'd look at an existing pair to check the size?

So you're best asking who they're for.

longtimelurkerfirsttimeposter · 14/12/2020 12:07

You can try cancelling now before they are delivered, they will let you know if it hasn't been possible.

AnneLovesGilbert · 14/12/2020 12:09

Surely if you don’t know your partner’s shoe size you wouldn’t buy them any shoes... it’s a shit excuse for getting it wrong.

Caramel81 · 14/12/2020 12:11

I would just tell him you saw the email and he will have to deal with returning them for a different size and style. My DP would rather I was upfront so it could be dealt with and then everyone’s happy

snookercue · 14/12/2020 12:15

he's been on amazon and searched for the right size but hasn't realised that you have to change the size to the one that you want in the drop down box.

Nah, you have to select a size. There isn't a 7/8 in the box and he forgot to change it, you literally have to choose a size. These shoes are not for you.

snookercue · 14/12/2020 12:16

How can people not know their partners shoe size?

DH knows broadly I am a 6. He may not know I wear a 5 in doc marten shoes and Birkenstock but a 7 in doc marten boots though.

LannieDuck · 14/12/2020 12:17

Just tell him. He'll probably be embarrassed that he got the size so wrong, esp if he hadn't realised there's an option for it on Amazon.

Tell him you got a delivery message, and you wouldn't normal tell him that you'd been 'spoilered', but if they're intended for you, size 3-4 is tiny...

When he says he'll arrange to swap them, you can gently add the bit about much preferring crocs with holes. (And the colour if he's taking it well.)

BuntysTwinkle · 14/12/2020 12:18

Tell him so he can fix it. Don't do something behind his back.

Write down a very specific list of 5-6 things you would like (from amazon). Lots of detail - brand, style, size. Act like you're trying to help an alien use amazon. There's no point waiting to accept something that is all wrong for you.

And "It's the thought that counts" is bullshit. It must have been made up by some long-suffering wife with a twat of a Dh. Or by her DH...Thoughts are effortless, we don't ascribe them superior value in any other situation. It's making the effort to show someone you know them and you care about pleasing them that counts...

BiscuitDrama · 14/12/2020 12:18

@snookercue

he's been on amazon and searched for the right size but hasn't realised that you have to change the size to the one that you want in the drop down box.

Nah, you have to select a size. There isn't a 7/8 in the box and he forgot to change it, you literally have to choose a size. These shoes are not for you.

Not true. I just searched for “lined crocs size 7” and by default 4-5 is selected. It’s not very obvious it’s selected either.

Accidently found my present and it's all wrong.

humblebumble · 14/12/2020 12:19

"I've already sorted everyone else's gifts (except for the OWs"

I'm really confused, doesn't OW mean other woman?

BuntysTwinkle · 14/12/2020 12:20

Nah, you have to select a size. There isn't a 7/8 in the box and he forgot to change it, you literally have to choose a size. These shoes are not for you.

Is it really likely he has two Croc-loving women in his life? (No offense OP.)

Plump82 · 14/12/2020 12:20

If they were a totally different type of shoe then id have suspicions they weren't for you. But because they're quite a unique style that cough not many people would wear cough 😂 i think he's just chose the wrong size.
Id just be honest with him and say mainly they're the wrong size but also not really the ones you want.

AlternativePerspective · 14/12/2020 12:20

If you question who they’re for and they’re not for you then he will just say he bought the wrong size.

I would bide my time, wait until Christmas Day and then if you get the shoes in the wrong size you can send them back knowing that they were for you. If you don’t get them then they weren’t. Iyswim.

LittleMissLockdown · 14/12/2020 12:20

DH knows broadly I am a 6. He may not know I wear a 5 in doc marten shoes and Birkenstock but a 7 in doc marten boots though.

That's understandable, sometimes depending on the style there might be a small variation. However not knowing at all is just baffling.

Nah, you have to select a size. There isn't a 7/8 in the box and he forgot to change it, you literally have to choose a size.

That's a good point. Amazon asks you to select the size before moving on to pay so he consciously clicked size 3/4.

Plump82 · 14/12/2020 12:21

@humblebumble

"I've already sorted everyone else's gifts (except for the OWs"

I'm really confused, doesn't OW mean other woman?

I think this was tongue in cheek from the OP

snookercue · 14/12/2020 12:22

Not true. I just searched for “lined crocs size 7” and by default 4-5 is selected. It’s not very obvious it’s selected either.

Oh well. I just searched lined crocs 7 and when you go to actual crocs it's not the same as the fakes you have selected. You have to select a size.

Bluntness100 · 14/12/2020 12:22

I’m a bit confused by the reference to ow also?

JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 14/12/2020 12:23

Well they’re never going to fit so I’d just tell him the truth, you got the delivery notification and you noticed they are the wrong size. Possibly link him to the ones you want.

they're a cheaper knock off brand so wouldn't last as well
My knock offs have lasted years longer than the real deal ones and get more wear. You’re just paying for the brand with crocs tbh.

snookercue · 14/12/2020 12:23

Is it really likely he has two Croc-loving women in his life? (No offense OP.)

No but if he is as thick as OP is trying to suggest then it's likely he just thinks women like these shoes.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 14/12/2020 12:23

except for the OW's

Well credit where, credits due I suppose, at least he's sorted that one out!

You've nothing to worry about if he's buying her crocs 😂😂

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