To ask if you have all DS’s??

[Pumpertrumper]

Considered Nc for this but I’m just going to own it. Please be kind not looking for abuse.

I’m 12 weeks with number 2 and starting to feel gender anxiety ducks for cover it’s come from nowhere. Never thought I’d mind as long as baby was healthy.

I have a very small DS already and I’m sure this is another boy. It’s just a feeling. I don’t think one gender is ‘better’ than the other at all and understand that kids don’t always follow ‘gender norms’ (although the majority do at a young age- I’ve spent a fair amount of time around kids).

I guess two of one gender just isn’t what I imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s bad just I’m struggling to picture it. I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend.
(I grew up in a family of boys and it was exactly like this ^ I felt so different and left out)

Can people with all boys possibly share how amazing it is? The unexpected upsides? The non stereotypical stuff?

Everyone and Thor dog is telling me ‘how lovely it would be if you have a girl this time’ but no one and I mean no one seems in any way positive about the prospect of me having another boy! It’s so deflating.

Think hearing some positivity would make a huge difference xx

I have 4 sons and love it. I had 3 under 4 at one point. Last son came along 20 years later.
I found boys more affectionate and love their cuddles. Mine never really fought, they had fallings out, but you would get that with girls. I enjoyed all their activities. I am not sure why you would expect boys to have mess everywhere?
Mine are all grown up now and we are very close.

Other peoples perceptions are often harder to deal with. People always just assume you want the opposite sex. I know when I had my third people told me how sorry they felt for me not having a girl! And when I was pregnant with my last son they assumed I really wanted a girl -- not so.

Just enjoy having your children, whatever gender they are.

Well I have 2 DS and 1 DD. All are fab but there are advantages of boys. I always found boys easier to amuse when young as they tended to prefer more physical games rather than hours of dolls/dressing up/role play which quite honestly I found tedious.

My DS who is 16 has had no friendship issues ever (other DS is still a toddler so can't judge), but OMG the dramas my DD used to come home with, it was really quite draining. Less peer pressure amongst boys in my experience.

He's never been into football, it's not a given. He was also a real mummy's boy when he was little, and still tells me he loves me and gives me hugs at 16, DD just wouldn't do that although we are close.

Boys are awesome and I was secretly pleased when we found out DC 3 was also a boy

I have a boy and a girl but I was secretly wanting a second boy. Obviously there's no chance I'd change this now and I love dd with all my heart but I always thought it'd be amazing to have two of the same gender especially close in age.

Incidentally having a girl is NOTHING like what I expected and it certainly isn't quiet and sweetness and light!

I have 2 ds's. My youngest has SEN and disabilities. They can be helpful and kind. They love lego, computer games, cooking and animals. They can be messy, but they can clean up and tidy too. They fight a lot, but so do most siblings I know regardless of sex or gender. I think that you'll love your baby no matter what, and kids are just kids.

I had exactly the same type of reaction when I told people I was expecting DS2, they actually made me feel like my family was inferior and I've since cut people off who have anything like that to say. I'm also quick to shut down people who comment on how life must be all fart jokes and mess.

The reality of having 2 boys is amazing, my 2 are now 8 and 5 and have no interest in making a massive mess and of those other things that people said, anymore than my friends' daughters are. They are calm, loving and sensitive, they also enjoy sports and being a bit loud and energetic sometimes. They can't really be defined as anything linked to their physical behaviour either. They don't make any more fart jokes than their female friends and I don't feel any more worn out than their female friends' parents either.

They get on brilliantly most of the time, they love Minecraft and exploring outdoors (yes they get muddy but again, not because they're boys). They like to sit and have conversations with me and they are heavily invested in school and learning.

People are stupid sometimes, they judge people based on their sex/gender and then pass their projections onto others which is massively unfair. Whenever people say to me "oh I bet you have your hands full" I force them to explain what they mean. It soon shuts them up.

Congratulations on your baby!

I have one of each, which I love, but sometimes I've watched ds and his BFF and felt sad that he doesn't have a brother. He has a lovely relationship with his sister but there's something great about the relationship between two same sex siblings if it goes well.

Actually this is what I love watching between him and his mates!
"I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend."

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I have three boys, 17, 15 & 11. I am biased but they are all amazing. Of all the things I worry about, or have struggled with, their sex has never been a factor, apart from when I was pregnant & people commented about it! I think lots of people think a boy & a girl is the perfect combo, or that all women hope for daughters, or just feel they have to say something!

I have 3 boys. I’m not saying it’s not a bit mad but tier 3, global pandemic and no babysitters since March and all that! It’s good though

Enjoy the child/ten you actually have. That’s my advice. My son loathes football and rugby (he’s a rock climber and marathon runner), he was incredibly neat and rule-following as a child, no interest in dinosaurs or fighting.
I have six daughters. Only one of them liked pink glittery dolls etc. Her big sisters as children liked Greek mythology, archaeology (obsessed with digging in the dirt for years), and one was football-crazy. One became a financial lawyer, another a biologist, the one who liked sparkle is happy working with SEN children.
A lot of people, when they hear I have 1 boy and 6 girls, assume I “carried on” until I got a boy but actually he was in the middle.
Do you like it when people make generalisations and assumptions about you? I bet you don’t. So don’t about your unborn child or how your family will work. Turn it around, work out the positives as there are loads about having same-sex siblings.
Congratulations too.

I felt the same as you. I really wanted two girls or one not and one girl. But I have two boys and they’re the best! The thing is, it’s their personalities that is the big surprise really. My children are so different from each other. Neither like football. Both love art. Both love guns and running around and cooking and tennis! Try to focus on who they are, but I wouldn’t change our family dynamic for anything. And I would say that boys do seem more straightforward (generally). Congratulations!

My two boys are 8 and 4. They get on so well and I hear them telling each other I love you all the time. My older one gets into his brothers bed when he can't sleep. They are both really affectionate and cuddly, they tell me how much they love me all the time. Their toys are no more or less messy than a girls toys would be!
They have different personalities and look different too, eldest is dark like me and youngest is blonde with blue eyes. Eldest is loud, outgoing and highly strung where youngest is more reserved, quiet and laid back. I look at my youngest and I wouldn't change him for anything. He is perfect just as he is.

It’s sex not gender.

Please don’t lose the word sex it’s actually really important.

I have 3 boys. All behave well, we don’t go in for the “boys will be boys” crap and therefore they all behave well. I have high expectations and they rise to it.

One does a lot of ballet/dance. One is very athletic but hates football. One is the nearest, tidiest child in the world. They’re all different.

Tbh I think it’s a really selfish thing from my point of view which is why I feel pretty guilty.

I grew up in a ‘mine craft, Lego, starwars, football and gaming’ family of boys (DB and male cousins) and I somewhere along the way developed a total aversion to it! I can’t even listen to football on the TV as it’s like nails down a chalk board. I really worry I’ll spend the rest of my life trying poorly to fake interest in these things.

Whereas when I look after my god daughter I love role playing dolls and tea parties. I never got to do that stuff growing up so it’s probably just novelty.

I adore DS and keep thinking to myself ‘two of him would be amazing’ but I know he won’t stay so small forever and I just worry he’ll ten before I know it and wanting to talk about gaming/starwars/football and I’ll just be fed up and bored.

I think my gender disappointment is stemming from my own concerns about my parenting abilities. I can fake interest well... but not for long.

I have one of each but the boy is the neat, affectionate one. Mud and dinosaurs yes but zero interest in football and doesn't get into fights. Having all the same sex will be fine, and if you do, you will probably find they are completely different characters anyway.

I have 2 boys and honestly they could not be more different.
One loves to run around, fling himself off things, dinosaurs, robots etc. But he also loves pink and sparkles and "pretty" things.
My youngest prefers to sit quietly, cuddles and books. But he's also really into cars.

What I'm trying to say is don't pigeon hole kids by their sex. They are all individuals. It may be that they both like dinosaurs and farting, but that might be the case if you have a girl this time. I was certainly a girl who hated pink and dolls and other things that people presumed I should like.

If it is another boy just try to ignore the idiots who say "oh that's a shame" or similar when you tell them.

I have two boys. Yes there is mud, fart jokes and dinosaurs everywhere. DH has the football on too. But it is fun. And I think I'd have those things too if we had one of each! I also think there would be more fights if it was one of each. DH and SIL fought like cat and dog when they were kids.

My boys are still young but I don't feel left out from my family. They have interests like DH but they also have interests like me. Their personality is also more like mine I think. I am also their mum which makes it different. They still want to spend time with me right now. I am the giver of snacks and the provider of cuddles. We organise family time so we take turns and all do the things we enjoy and make sure we spend time together.

I fully expect when they're teenagers they won't want anything to do with me. I'd expect that from a daughter too. I was never close to my own mum as a teen.

For the first few years you can still have your doll's tea parties. My ds had dolls, which he loved, he poured tea with great zest, and was neither more nor less muddy than my daughter. By the time he got into football he was too old to drag his old mum along anyway. I grew up with 3 brothers but their interests were very varied: one was heavily into music, one into computers (bit of a pioneer there, as this was a long time ago), one loved everything to do with the sea.

I have 2 boys 20 months apart. They are brilliant, yes they like getting dirty outside but their friendship is great. I have only sisters so know the down side to all
Girls too! We fought like cat a dog. Both boys are very loving and I love being the only femail in our house

It’s sex, not gender. And I get it. I wanted a girl as well. I wouldn’t have been upset by a boy but I did have a preference.

2 boys, one adult one late teens.
One is currently studying at conservatoire, the other is still at school, but is also very musical (has been a church organist since he was 13).
Neither have ever been that bothered by sport.

Characterwise they are chalk and cheese.
And yes we had dinosaurs, and acres of Lego, and running around like mad things getting mucky when they were little - but I'd imagine girls might do those things too?
DW does sometimes suggest that she has a special bond with Sybil the cat since they are the only women in the house

I have 4 boys, and people still ask if we're going to try for a girl. I love that all my boys are so different. They're very caring, funny, they do love fart jokes but its not all football and dinosaurs. One of my boys loves bubble baths and bath bombs, one has a huge crystal collection and knows loads about them all. I.couldn't imagine myself with a daughter now, and defiantly won't have anymore children.but not because of gender, because all kids are mental and it's chaos! 😂

*Londonnight
I have 4 sons and love it. I had 3 under 4 at one point. Last son came along 20 years later.
I found boys more affectionate and love their cuddles. Mine never really fought, they had fallings out, but you would get that with girls. +

How can you say this if you have never had a girl?
"Boys more affectionate"- than what? A daughter you never had?
You are stereotyping.

I really wanted two boys. I have one of each.

If it helps my 2 year old daughter is the worst for fart jokes. She's figured out how to fart on demand and then laughs at herself 🤦‍♀️

I have 2 boys. There are so, so lovely. They are not massively into sport and are more musical and creative. They are both very loving and kind. One loves coming shopping with me and the other loves cooking and baking with me. I am so lucky. They get on really well.

People say they want one of each but I don't think this works out great in many cases. Everyone I know who has one of each, the DC don't have great relationships especially if the girl is older. Also, I thought it would be nice to have a sister myself until I saw what my friends go through with theirs. Maybe it's just the people who I know but I know plenty of 40 years and over sisters who absolutely hate each other.

I wouldn't swap my boys for anything. Having 2 is great. They will amuse each other. I got people commenting on having another boy but then I don't care what anyone else thinks TBH. Smile and wave.