To ask if you have all DS’s??

[Pumpertrumper]

Considered Nc for this but I’m just going to own it. Please be kind not looking for abuse.

I’m 12 weeks with number 2 and starting to feel gender anxiety ducks for cover it’s come from nowhere. Never thought I’d mind as long as baby was healthy.

I have a very small DS already and I’m sure this is another boy. It’s just a feeling. I don’t think one gender is ‘better’ than the other at all and understand that kids don’t always follow ‘gender norms’ (although the majority do at a young age- I’ve spent a fair amount of time around kids).

I guess two of one gender just isn’t what I imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s bad just I’m struggling to picture it. I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend.
(I grew up in a family of boys and it was exactly like this ^ I felt so different and left out)

Can people with all boys possibly share how amazing it is? The unexpected upsides? The non stereotypical stuff?

Everyone and Thor dog is telling me ‘how lovely it would be if you have a girl this time’ but no one and I mean no one seems in any way positive about the prospect of me having another boy! It’s so deflating.

Think hearing some positivity would make a huge difference xx

I adore DS and keep thinking to myself ‘two of him would be amazing’ but I know he won’t stay so small forever and I just worry he’ll ten before I know it and wanting to talk about gaming/starwars/football and I’ll just be fed up and bored.
DH isn't into football and videogames. Many of my male friends enjoy cooking and painting.

At school I've seen plenty of teenage boys who like a range of sport, have danced to a high level, who have been compassionate and mentored younger students, who've volunteered with local charities, who have done enterprise projects, who've been in choral singing and music to a high level, and everything in between.

If you're exposing your child to lots of things then they will find their own path. DS is too young to have hit fortnight and football crazes, and DH and I are really hoping he doesn't get into football, but if he does then we support it like we would any other interest.

My dh isn't into football or any sports really. Ds is football mad, like every boy, except one, in his class.

I have a sporty (but not particularly interested in football) dh. Ds was ambivalent about football. He tried to get into it for a while, but the attitudes and behaviour of the keen football boys at school (and egged on by their fathers at the club) totally put him off.

Dh's sportiness has not rubbed off on either of our dc, but the point I was making was that some parents deliberately cultivate particular stereotypical boy/girl traits in their children.

wanting to talk about gaming/starwars/football and I’ll just be fed up and bored

But being interested or bored in your children's interests really isn't necessarily a male/female thing. In my family dd and I are just as into Star Wars and other fantasy/sci fi stuff as ds and dh. If dd were into fashion and make-up, I wouldn't be interested in that.

2 ds's here. Super close and super affectionate. I secretly wanted a girl but I'm so glad I have another boy. We have very close age gap so they are very close and into the same stuff. They do love mud, dinosaurs and trains but also enjoy baking, glitter, dolls, pushchairs and play sets. It is up to you what you to introduce as activites and toys etc. Ours have shown no interest in football so unless they suddenly decide they want to join a team at school, we won't spend weekends at a pitch. Out favorite weekend activites include long walks, baking, painting and gardening. I can imagine doing this regardless of whether I had boys or girls.

but the point I was making was that some parents deliberately cultivate particular stereotypical boy/girl traits in their children

I don't think you can
I've tried endlessly to get my Ds interested in drawing and arty stuff...my life would be much easier if he was artistic rather than sporty. I remember giving him a colouring book and pens when he was three. He couldn't have been less interested.
I've also dragged my dd on endless park trips with her brother and she still isn't outdoorsy or sporty.

Although of course, I'm aware it's hideously uncool on here to have a dd who doesn't love rolling in mud and a ds who doesn't love dolls.

We have all boys and it's glorious. Loving, charming, funny, kind teens.
Stinky though ...

Dh and I have 4 sons and we love it. We live on a farm and the boys are all muddy messy types, love tractors, animals and dinosaurs. But they also love helping me bake and cook, they all asked! to have chores! They have a bedroom each and share a bathroom between 2 and take turns in cleaning and tidying them. They enjoy the 'boy' stuff like cars and lego but all have barbies, they have a dolls house, baby annabels etc. This isn't us pushing an agenda on them, I think they just get sick of so much male-ness in one house that the 'girly' toys came about! It's not all muck and farting, you can always find a balance, especially if you or female family spend time with them, they won't turn out to be brutes.

Mine are young 5 and 1 year old twins. All boys.

DS Diane like dinosaurs and we spend Saturday mornings at dreams and dance classes. The babies night grow up to like football but tbh DH has only a passing interest.

He would like a fart joke but so would his female classmates.

I do get it, I really wanted a girl next and then when they said twins I imagined one of each. Most people I know have at least one of each of they have more than one. But they're just kids. Weird, Annoying, Unique

My son is the cuddliest and most affectionate of all my children. Boys are fun! My son goes to an all boys school and seeing him with his little classmates always cracks me up, they are such a hilarious little bunch. I have two friends who each have three sons and both families are absolutely lovely.

I have three boys and one girl. They're all fabulous, obviously, but the boys are quieter, calmer, easier to reason with, tidier, more helpful ......

All under ten, and daughter is neither the oldest nor the youngest. It's just how they are! They're all different, and it's not necessarily gender dependent!

Yawn. Another DS gender disappointment thread. There was a huge one literally a week or so ago.

I am usually sympathetic but I'm starting to find it offensive. I have two DS.

They’re all just little humans.
I don’t get it? I only have one, a daughter, was I supposed to stop her being interested in dinosaurs and football? Just let them be what they want to be

I don't know if it helps but I have a daughter who is obsessed with dinosaurs and both she and all her friends love fart (and poo) jokes. I did have a preference for a girl, but actually now she's a bit older I am envious of friends with boys who can just throw a ball at them while we are doing hours of role play (which gets very tedious very quickly).

I have 2 DS’, aged 10 and 12 - they’re awesome! As they would be if they were both girls or one of each, what makes them awesome is that they’re mine and DHs and we’ve had the privilege of seeing them develop and do all the amazing, funny things children do.

Yes there is dirt and mess and dinosaurs and farting and football and gaming but so much more. They also like cooking and baking, painting, my eldest loves a musical and an art gallery (which I adore), the younger a massive nature fan.

@Pumpertrumper

Thanks for all the responses.

Except the judgmental ‘it’s gender not sex YABU’ twaddle. With babies it 100% is gender they have no concept of who they are. When I had DS the midwife immediately pulled out a blue hat. Friends and family immediately bought ‘boy’ stuff. DH stuck up dinosaurs in the nursery and I’m pretty sure they’d have stuck me in counselling had I said ‘actually he doesn’t have a clue he’s a boy and I want to dress him in all these cute dresses because they make me happy’.

I absolutely don’t think one gender is better than the other and reading all the responses has cheered me up no end, but I do hate the trolls who come on threads like this and refuse to acknowledge (or actually fully argue) that the experience of having a baby boy vs baby girl isn’t any different.
Society dictates an awful lot and I do understand why mums feel they’ve ‘lost out on the experience of a baby girl’. No 3 month old is transgender

I agree with the above.

I am not a fan of the stereotypical boy aesthetic for fashion and interiors (slogan t shirts with all the usual cliches, robots, dinosaurs, footballs, grey, camouflage etc). Fashion wise I have loved dressing my girls but I actually prefer dressing my son these days, its takes a little more time and effort to find but there are some nice brands for boys too, that are neither 'cool' as per the above nor too boring and conservative such as trotters/ralph lauren.

You can decorate his room in a more classic neutral style without dinosaurs/cars/pirates, this does definitely not have to look boring.

One of my closest friends has 2 girls exactly same age and there really isn’t much difference between them all - the girls join in on the fart jokes just as much as the boys 😂

i had a boy and then was convinced my 2nd would also be a boy, she turned out to be a girl. I then also had another boy.

My 2 boys are completely different. DS1 is not a typical boy, doesnt roll in the mud or play sports or do any of the 'traditional' boy things,. he likes to read and draw maps and play zelda.
DS2 is much more a 'boy' but even so hates football. probably makes a difference as DH isnt really into football either so i gues its a learned interest really, the men i know who love rugby also have boys that love rugby etc too so its possible to have boys and not be overun with football etc!!

I am envious of friends with boys who can just throw a ball at them while we are doing hours of role play (which gets very tedious very quickly). Yeah that's not sex related though. DS would throw the ball back, after missing it, and then demand I cut out costumes for his play figures and wear my imaginery costume.

Well I grew up in a house of all girls and there were fights, farts, mud and more fights! Give me boys any day!

I really know how you feel, @Pumpertrumper
When I was younger, I always thought of babies as girls, which sounds mad, but I think maybe to do with having baby dolls which are mostly girls! So when I was expecting my first child, I was secretly hoping for a girl. Although I didn't ask to find out the sex at the scan, I just knew he was a boy, and I was surprised at how I felt - I was happy. But then when my second was on the way, I hoped so much it would be a girl. I got myself in a bit of a hole and was almost obsessed with hoping for a girl, and even put the house up for sale thinking a boy and a girl wouldn't be able to share a room, imagining decorating her room with lovely girly fairy forest themes etc. So when I found out I was having another boy, I admit I was really really disappointed. I had to stop myself looking at girls clothes in shops, stop thinking about dolls and prams etc. It was really affecting me and I wasn't looking forward to having my baby.
But then as soon as he came, I knew I had found another little best friend, and that he and his brother would always be best friends, and I wouldn't change him for the world! I know that's a bit of a cliche, but it's true. I'm so lucky to have two really lovely calm and quiet boys, both really bright and funny, and so amazingly loving to me. They're not really stereotypical boys (hate getting muddy, not boisterous at all, not football mad particularly) and I don't really notice that I'm the only girl in the house, we all just muck in together. It really doesn't matter whether you've got all boys, all girls, a mixture, they're all just your little mates.
Don't worry, OP, it's understandable how you feel, but you'll be ok X

I have a 6 Yr old girl who is obsessed with poop and farts

I have two older sons and a younger daughter. All are wonderful in their own unique way, regardless of their sex 🙂

I've only got one DS but looking at him and his friends they are not (or ever were) all into football, mess and dinosaurs although DS was. I spent many hours by the side of a football pitch both watching him and professional teams and I'm not into football at all. We also went to the cinema, the theatre, art museums and on historical trips because he has a range of interests I've always encouraged.

One of your boys might be into something different altogether. I'm sure that whatever they are into you can find some common ground.

House of all boys and me here, I am very lucky. 😁 Not all girls are like this however the absolute drama and nonsense from the girls at my kids school makes me glad to have boys. My boys are still sensitive but theres not the meanness.

My opinion may not be PC but I do think there are differences in having boys and girls, yes many of them are socially constructed and not ‘real’ but as social animals that goes for pretty much anything you can think of - what we eat for breakfast, ethical rights and wrongs, the way we structure our days and lives, the groups and institutions we associate with. By nature humans are artificial (for instance there has never been a society who doesn’t wear some form of clothing or adorn their body in some way). So I don’t think it’s helpful to have either argument a) gender doesn’t exist, b) gender does exist. It’s somewhere in the middle in my opinion.
We can never be ‘free’ as individuals to be whoever we want to be because there is always a balance of both nature and nurture which mould us into who we become as members of the wider society in which we are part. How that plays out is different for every individual which is why there are so many different and unique individuals, but we are all part of humanity and society and I think it’s unhelpful to just disregard that and say boys and girls are exactly the same. There are biological differences and these can lead to certain tendencies, life choices etc. (Such as maternal instinct) but it is absolutely not the case that these are universal and there are always exceptions to general tendencies. I personally think we can never know what is natural and what is socially constructed as it differs between each and every one of us, so I don’t think anyone can ever win this debate anyways.