To ask if you have all DS’s??

[Pumpertrumper]

Considered Nc for this but I’m just going to own it. Please be kind not looking for abuse.

I’m 12 weeks with number 2 and starting to feel gender anxiety ducks for cover it’s come from nowhere. Never thought I’d mind as long as baby was healthy.

I have a very small DS already and I’m sure this is another boy. It’s just a feeling. I don’t think one gender is ‘better’ than the other at all and understand that kids don’t always follow ‘gender norms’ (although the majority do at a young age- I’ve spent a fair amount of time around kids).

I guess two of one gender just isn’t what I imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s bad just I’m struggling to picture it. I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend.
(I grew up in a family of boys and it was exactly like this ^ I felt so different and left out)

Can people with all boys possibly share how amazing it is? The unexpected upsides? The non stereotypical stuff?

Everyone and Thor dog is telling me ‘how lovely it would be if you have a girl this time’ but no one and I mean no one seems in any way positive about the prospect of me having another boy! It’s so deflating.

Think hearing some positivity would make a huge difference xx

Hi OP I have one boy who is now 18.

I really really really wanted a girl, so I wasn't very impressed when he came out and was a boy. But now I wonder if it was the right thing for me as I wasn't a particularly girlie girl myself, and wouldn't have been very interested in stereotypical female things like dancing and dressing up.

I think my mum was sorry that I wasn't interested in clothes etc though, having a dd doesn't guarantee that you'll be able to do girlie things, and you might have a son who loves going shopping with his mum.

I think it's a bit easier now but the only tangible problem I found with having a boy is that it's much easier to find nice pyjamas for a girl (though places like White Company have nice ones for smaller boys these days).

As for acres of lego and train sets - plenty of girls like those too.

I have two sons and they are very different despite the closeness in age. DS1 is stereotypically physical, wanting to fight/kick/throw, while DS2 is all about cutesy unicorns and sparkles. They do influence each other's interests and characters though, which has (IMO) given them a well-rounded look. I know how you feel as I really wanted DS2 to be a girl but then realised when he arrived that he is just himself. Stereotypical boy world is not a guarantee, not if you try and steer them away from it (DS1 gets daily lectures in considering other people's feelings and treating his mother with respect/not throwing/being polite etc and it is slowly having an effect).

My 2 year old DD is obsessed with dinosaurs and rolling in mud - she bit me at the weekend when I wouldnt let her lie face down in a puddle. My 11yo DD farts as a conversation starter and I had to endure 4 years of football, often 3 days a week, before she FINALLY gave it up in high school. My 5yo DSS wants to be a princess. Does that help at all? I would have liked to have both genders too but actually 2 of the same is miles easier in terms of bedrooms, hand me downs and probably activities/interests when they're close in age.

I do understand the feeling though because when I got pregnant this time MIL was obsessed over it being a boy and it really annoyed me and irrationally made me want another girl. Which then made me feel guilty in case it was a boy and he could feel in the womb that I didn't want him to be 🤣🤣🤣 pregnancy hormones are funny things and you won't feel like this once you have your baby, boy or girl.

I have 2 of each. I’d swap the girls for boys in a heartbeat - not really but they are easier and if I’d been able to choose I would have chosen boys.

@Pumpertrumper
It really is about who they are. I’m blessed with one daughter and two sons. I love them all, but the deepest connection I have is with my middle son.
It really doesn’t have an awful lot to do with their gender tbh.

I've got two of each and they are all fab in their own way but the boys make me feel really loved and appreciated. They both send me lovely birthday cards for example with beautiful messages and seem interested in me as a person where my girls currently are a little more challenging emotionally, let's say!

The older one, mid 20's, asked me to stop talking the other day as I was bringing on her migraine....

It's another CHILD you're having. Many women can't even have a single one. Think about that! Two gorgeous children.

Lol @TheNationsFavourite
That's how my 3 sons have made me feel at times. Seriously tho they are all very different people and are grown men now. Whether boys or girls they all bring their own worries and their own joys...

I’ve raised 2 boys, and then after a gap had a girl. All the kids are very different, all individuals.

The oldest son has an ASD diagnosis, but mild and we got a lot of early intervention, he followed all the rules growing up and has been a lovely older sib to both younger ones, the middle son - a complete joker and easy going, daughter a bit of a combo of both but more driven with school, and certainly no easier or harder.

Either sex, it’s all good. Congratulations on your baby, wishing you all good health.

My nieces fight far more than my sons ever did. They laugh at fart jokes just as much. They get just as muddy.

I have 2 teen boys. We never watch football, but they love musicals. They used to love dinosaurs and trains, but also loved playing with their dolls.

I had proper gender bereavement and that is ok. It is basically saying goodbye to the picture that you have in your head of what your family looks like. I envisioned 2 girls (I am very girlie) and got two boys, but they are a delight and turned out not to be what I expected at all. Son1 teacher says he is one of the kindest and empathic children she knows (child NOT boy). My two boys are firm friends with each other and will craft or play board games for hours. Yes they like to get muddy but so do their best friends (some of whom are girls). My husband is very close to his mother and I probably see as much of her as I do my own so i have had to totally remodel my thoughts of what boys (and men) are!

I have a niece and a nephew OP. My niece does love princesses, her dolls house, unicorns and all things glittery, but she’s more into fart jokes and bottoms than anyone I know.

My two year old daughter loves fart jokes and dinosaurs.

Society is shit at the moment. Girls are groomed and plucked to within a mm of their eye brows and seen as needing to be smart, polite, compliant and lovely.
Boys are seen at shits who can't behave and underachieve and this is "typical of a boy".

When pregnant with my DS I was very ill, with HG at like 4 weeks pregnant onwards. The midwife nurse at my local GP surgery -said you've got to be -got to be pregnant with a boy -boys cause trouble wherever they go -and never stop. Firstly HG doesn't mean a boy. When it was a boy she tutted and said "told you so" "boys cause so many problems, they don't listen" -at primary school I was told he "was a typical boy" in reception and asked what it meant "he doesn't listen and hits with sticks and runs around" etc and doesn't do his work properly. The teacher had an expectation for boys and expectation for girls. I'm very pleased to say I pulled him out of the school -fast. I went beserk -he wasn't like that at home - my ex doesn't like me sewing or knitting with him as "he is a boy" like he can't do those things WTF? Yet he is fine about me doing with DD.

Society is crap. Stereotypes are a million times worse now than in the 1970s when I grew up. Feminism has gone backwards not forwards. When a primary school teacher accepts poor behaviour because it is a "typical boy behaviour so therefore I didn't ring home" or handwriting standards a lower as " boys find it harder" I wonder what the f**k society has done.

Mum of two sons who are now wonderful young adults.

They are completely different from each other but get along well.

I don't know what it would have been like to have a daughter, but I have loved having 2 boys in the family. All you need is a football and some outside space and they are still happy for hours.

I have three sisters and ended up with all boys, 9, 7 and third on the way. I dont' see any real difference between girls and boys TBH. As a little girl, I loved Barbies but also loved getting dirty. There are pictures of me literally covered in mud from head to toe because I found some mud and rolled around in it. My favourite toy was a tool set. I used to love taking apart all my pink glittery toys to see how the insides worked.
With my boys, the other day we made a big batch of christmas cookies together, they are into everything. They also had some dolls at some point and Lego Friends lego, because they enjoyed it and I don't see why they shouldn't have it. They're ver loving and affectionate towards their younger cousins.
It all depends on how they're raised - just let them express themselves the way most parents indulge girls, and it'll be fine. You'll raise some kind, decent, sensitive men, god knows the world needs more of those!

I actually think there is something special about single sex sibling groups. My DH is one of all boys. I have all sons.
My sons have their own personalities just like girls do so they are into very different things and have different strenghths and weakness. Girls look fab. Boys are fab too.

I’ve just had my second DS (he’s three weeks old!) and definitely had a few pangs of sadness that I’ll almost certainly never have a daughter now. DH helped me unpick those feelings and it seems that I’m fearful I won’t have the emotional closeness with adult sons... except that’s rubbish isn’t it, why on earth wouldn’t I?

I also get the whole feigning interest about “boys games” but as a 36 year old woman is playing with my little pony etc really going to be that much more interesting in the long run than brio/blippi (I’m playing massively to stereotypes obviously but a lot of gender disappointment stems from these inaccurate stereotypes anyway.)

Apart from the superficial stuff like girls clothes being a bit nicer or wanting to do their hair, on the whole human babies and children are essentially all the same just with or without a willy.

Older family members have said that closeness in adulthood is more about geography than gender. If your children end up living close by you’ll see them more, be more involved in grandchildren etc regardless of gender.

I’m sure you’ll be delighted whoever pops out

My 2 boys both love to draw, read and are always creating. Neither like football although they love a bit of mud and rough and tumble. They also give the most lovely hugs. People say stupid hurtful things when you are mum to just boys because they are hard of thinking.

My girls are toilet humour champions!
On a serious note though it sounds like you had a rough time feeling isolated growing up. I'm sorry to hear that.
It might be nice to plan some Mummy and Son traditions that you really enjoy together.

Two boys here. Slight sadness that I’ll never have a girl but I love my pair to bits.
Two peas in a pod, affectionate, funny, clever and gorgeous boys they are. A girl and a boy would be nice but a different dynamic.
These two just do everything together. Would not change anything.

Massive generalisation but I think on the whole young boys can be harder work as lots of energy, mud, fighting etc.
But I have this theory that when it comes to teenage years they’re less stroppy than girls. We’ll see.

I have 2 boys. When I was pregnant with first really wasn't bothered what it was, when pregnant with second really hoped for a boy! By this time I 'knew' boys so was more comfortable. Neither of mine ever played football but they were both (and still are) into Lego, but then so am I, so that is not gender specific. Now they are grown up I am sooooo grateful I never had girls - friends who did have had nothing but trouble, boys are so much more straightforward and despite a 6 year age gap my two are really good friends.

I’ve got 2 girls and they fight plenty, love getting muddy and my 4 year old lives for dinosaurs. I’m sure if you have 2 boys you’ll be just fine - it’s just nerves x

@BigusBumus my sons ‘main nan’ is my fiancé’s mum. I love my mum to pieces but I also love my MIL and she is amazing with my little boy. I was brought up by my mum and I know if she was left alone with my son she would not take any notice of what I tell her to do. You may be surprised when you have grandchildren.

Also my dh and his brothers are exceptionally close to their Mum. Far more than I am with mine.
So I don’t worry about that aspects