To ask if you have all DS’s??

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Considered Nc for this but I’m just going to own it. Please be kind not looking for abuse.

I’m 12 weeks with number 2 and starting to feel gender anxiety ducks for cover it’s come from nowhere. Never thought I’d mind as long as baby was healthy.

I have a very small DS already and I’m sure this is another boy. It’s just a feeling. I don’t think one gender is ‘better’ than the other at all and understand that kids don’t always follow ‘gender norms’ (although the majority do at a young age- I’ve spent a fair amount of time around kids).

I guess two of one gender just isn’t what I imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s bad just I’m struggling to picture it. I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend.
(I grew up in a family of boys and it was exactly like this ^ I felt so different and left out)

Can people with all boys possibly share how amazing it is? The unexpected upsides? The non stereotypical stuff?

Everyone and Thor dog is telling me ‘how lovely it would be if you have a girl this time’ but no one and I mean no one seems in any way positive about the prospect of me having another boy! It’s so deflating.

Think hearing some positivity would make a huge difference xx

Your experience in a house full of males isn't the same as mine at all. I'm the only female in my family. My boys don't like football, one is messy the other is very neat and tidy, they've never fought, they refuse to watch Star Wars. One is very independent and one is a real mummy's boy and constantly cuddling me.

I don't think I have to feign interest in their activities any more than I would a girl. Some activities that little kids like are boring when you're an adult - especially when they want you to play the same thing 8 hrs a day. They like art, computer games (I admit I've had to play minecraft a few times in the past - but now they play online with friends). I love Lego and both sexes play with that. I'm not really into 'dolls houses', think I'd find that boring, but all kids play with small word stuff when they're young - playmobil, happy land, etc.

Advantages of multiple boys only - can hand me down toys and clothes? It doesn't matter what sex you have, children are all unique and don't have to follow gender norms. They'll have their own personality and also be shaped by you. I love having 2 boys, I really do enjoy it. I did get quite a few comments from other people suggesting I should be upset I didn't get a girl, which I did find upsetting, as if I could improve on my 2 boys somehow.

I have 5 boys aged from 25 to 9.
Not gonna lie some days they kill each other,if I never see Fortnite again it'll be too soon😂.

But the 2 adult sons I have,look out and stick up for each other.

Oh and showers unless forced in to them are an alien concept.
Untill they hit about 11 and then the bang
Of Lynx hits.

There's no such thing as gender. Don't place ugly stereotypes on a child just because of the sex they're born. Children aren't dolls to play out specific roles with, they'll be who they'll be.

I have 3 boys. The first 2 I wanted to be boys as I thought how great to have a play mate for my 1st son. I grew up as an only child (I had one half brother but he was 19 years older!) So I knew I wanted a sibling close in age for my son. My first 2 son's have got on so well. Every where I take them they play with each other (I know that's not always the case but I do think having them be of the same gender has helped). They are now at different schools but my 2nd ds is friends with all my 1st ds's friends who are still at that school which has been lovely.Then my 3rd child I really wanted a girl!.. I was hoping and guessing all the way along. Once I found out it was a boy I was a tiny bit disappointed I can't lie but after that I just forgot about wanting a girl. My third son turned out to be absolutely gorgeous. Sorry I know this is totally immodest but he is the best looking of the 3 of them- blonde curls, big blue eyes and dark eye lashes and has got an adorable personality (2nd two boys both very loving, 1st competitive and quirky but amazing). The older 2 boys love ds3 and the 3 of them have a bond now i hope will last for life. They do like alot of typical boy stuff but they have other interests too like art and reading and my 2nd son is extremely sweet and all the teachers say he's like an angel. He just has a way of winning you over. Ive read this back and it is so gloating but you did ask for positives! After all this I'll bet you'll have a girl anyway

I have 3 boys (19, 18, 15).

They were very easy to amuse when little, "find me the curliest stick, a triangular pebble and a yelllow leaf" and easy outdoor games like that. Lego, scootering, Xbox and cricket/rugby have been their passions.

Teenage years have been a bit rough at times. Stroppiness, getting drunk, a bit of weed smoking but all normal in the grand scheme of things. No major friendship or bullying dramas.

I guess I struggle now with one thing, I'm losing them. 😢 I can feel it, I've done an alright job in bringing them up to be independent young men and the older two especially are needing me less and less and we aren't as close anymore. They have lives separate to me and that makes me sad. The youngest is sill close to me, will still watch a film with me and have a cuddle but I will lose him too one day. I often think that a daughter will always be much more part of my life in the future but when my sons will marry their wives will be their lives. I also know that I won't ever be the 'main granny'. when Im blessed with grandchildren which is ☹️

Of course I know nothing is guaranteed in life, it's just how my mind works.

I had exactly the same type of reaction when I told people I was expecting DS2, they actually made me feel like my family was inferior and I've since cut people off who have anything like that to say

Same here. Some people act like it's a second class sort of family if you don't have any girls (and they can get to fuck!)

I wonder what is going on in our society that every week it seems like there's a thread here by someone worried they won't have/aren't having a girl? I don't think it cam be explained only by the fact it's mainly women on here and "women want girls".

OP, I have two boys and they are not like the stereotypes. They are very different to each other. I get a lot of compliments on how clever and funny they are and we enjoy spending time together just as much as I would a girl (I imagine!). The younger one is also very kind and empathetic (the older one isn't unkind but has ASD and struggles a bit with social cues). They are very loving. They are primary age just now.

I have two sons, now 18 and 15. Yes it's been football all the way, but as a non girly woman that's suited me just fine. School and friendships have been a breeze.
Time has taught me that for us, having two of the same gender has been absolutely the best outcome.

I have two girls and when pregnant with my second, convinced myself she was a boy. From a practical perspective, I wanted a girl as I had loads of girl clothes, toys etc... but i wasn’t devastated when I thought I’d be having a boy - I had a few weeks to get used to it before I found out it was actually a girl.

I was happy, but I’d have been happy with a boy too. I think sometimes you just need time to picture something different if you’ve always thought you’d have a particular mix of kids, it if that makes sense.

I also found with two girls that no one mentioned to me whether I’d like a boy. I’m not sure if they did to my DH though, but do wonder if other mums get the same comments if they have two girls.

I have one son, one daughter.

My son is very loving, artistic, likes play fighting but is a sensitive soul.
My daughter farts all the time! Thinks it is hilarious! She is loud and hard work sometimes whereas my DS has always been very laid back.

My son used to do ballet and dance, my daughter hasn't had chance yet but like DS tends not to follow stereotypes. Loves pink but also loves getting her hands dirty and climbing trees.

IT really means nothing.

I have a lovely ds. He is 12 and has been as much into dinosaurs, fart jokes and football than his sister (15) - i.e. not at all. They have always had quite similar interests to each other and get on really well. Neither fits into the boy/girl stereotypes you see on these threads.

I think it's fairly normal to have a preference but as you'll find when you have a second child, they are different people rather than just different sexes.

I have a boy and a girl (should have had two boys but I lost our second late in pregnancy). Boy liked dinosaurs; girl didn't really. But girl likes mud and football; boy doesn't at all! They both like fighting and farting and are both very boisterous. However they both did/do ballet. If anything boy was keener on it than girl. They both liked dolls and "home corner" type role play but again boy probably keener. Girl likes arty stuff and books more than boy but boy has ADHD and can't focus on "sitting down" stuff (even struggled with tv for more than half an hour).

My girl has brought a different and lovely balance to our family but I must stress that it's because she's a different character rather than just female. She's also neurotypical whereas my son has mild ASD and ADHD and this is by far the biggest factor in their differences and the different parenting we need to give them.

when I look after my god daughter I love role playing dolls and tea parties

We role play teddies and tea parties here with DS3. I hope we'll be doing that for some time.

OP, I'm in your situation. When we have DC2, I'm secretly hoping for a girl. Against that is balanced a suspicion that my DS1 would prefer a younger brother to play with and that would be the better family dynamic for us. So I won't be disappointed whatever we have, although a tiny hidden part of me will grieve the daughter I always imagined myself having. It's sad letting go of our dreams about what we thought our "ideal" family would look like, however happy we are with the real thing.

My Dd was harder as a teenager but a piece of cake as a toddler. My ds was harder as a toddler but a piece of cake as a teenager. Both lovely,

I also found with two girls that no one mentioned to me whether I’d like a boy. I’m not sure if they did to my DH though, but do wonder if other mums get the same comments if they have two girls

When I've talked to friends with girls about this they say they don't get negative comments generally but their husbands occasionally do. Not as often as mums of all boys do though, which is probably because family life is seen as less central to men's identities than it is women's.

I think the "ideal" family set up for 2 kids as perceived by the general public goes in this order:
Older boy/younger girl
Older girl/younger boy
2 girls
2 boys

And if you have more than 2 you're judged whatever the combo! Though perhaps less so if you have 2 of one sex then a 3rd of the other.

When I was pregnant with ds and had some major gender disappointment after the scan (looking back it's obviously ridiculous, ds is the sweetest and best thing in the world and I wouldn't change him for anything), my mum told me that boys were much better because they are sweet, affectionate and very loving for much longer than girls, who are generally very hard work. Thanks mum...

I have two boys aged 6 and the 3 and they are wonderful!!!!

I won’t go in to all the details but with my second I was sure it was a girl, I kept imagining what my daughter would be like, and then when we found out at 20 weeks that it was another boy I felt really disappointed. It wasn’t that I didn’t want another son specifically, it was just the fact that I would never have a daughter as this was going to be our last baby.

However....

Having two boys has been amazing!!! They are so loving towards each other that it makes my heart melt - they are each other’s best friend and have to do everything together!

They have bunk beds (they were adamant they wanted to share as opposed to having their own room) and most mornings when I check up on them, the eldest had crept in with the youngest and they’ll be fast asleep together.

When they sit on the sofa they practically sit in each other’s laps and they just cuddle up and hold hands.

They are always telling each other they love each other and if one of them is going out (for example when DH takes the youngest somewhere) they won’t be separated until they’ve had a kiss and cuddle goodbye.

Honestly, I can’t tell you what a wonderful and special relationship they have.

Yes there is noise, mess and occasional fights, but that is far, far outweighed by how much they love each other. Noise, mess and fighting will occur no matter what sex any siblings are......so I would lose the idea that that scenario is only applicable to having two boys

In hindsight I am so, so, glad I had a second boy. They have the same interests, like the same cartoons and films, they love playing with the same kind of toys and in general their characters and personalities are so, so alike. When I see them playing with each other and chatting away and being joined at the hip my heart could explode with love.

Do I think my oldest son would have had such a close and loving relationship with his sibling if I’d had a girl? I honestly don’t think so.

Having a daughter would have been nice for me, but having a second son has been
wonderful for my eldest boy. In my personal opinion, I do think that as siblings reach into teenage years and adulthood, they are more likely to remain close and play a main role in each other’s life if they are the same sex.

When I look at them now, I’m so happy my second baby was a boy and I love them both with all my heart.

My husband is into his sport, my eldest is too and I have no doubt my youngest will be too - however, all I see there, when they trot off to football matches, and scream happily at the rugby on the TV is the wonderful, close relationship they have with their dad. My boys are both very much mummy’s boys (especially the eldest) so I’m happy they have this interest with their dad so it’s just something for the three of them.

Do I worry about being pushed out as they get older......not at all. I know they will always love me no matter how much they love sport and I hate it. Their younger years will most likely be mine, and their teenage years are most likely to be their dads, but I’m fine with that. They will grow up to be individuals and if they love sport then that’s fine - we can’t force our children to choose the same interests that we have just so we don’t feel left out or feel like we are being forced to participate in something we aren’t particularly fond of.

My eldest plays golf and I will admit I get bored stiff watching him.....most time I don’t even go to his lessons, but we have such a close relationship in other ways that it’s a total non-issue that I don’t want to watch him hit a ball around. That’s his dad’s domain.

If you do have another boy, rather than focus on the perceived negatives, just think of all the wonderful things your two boys will be able to get up to with each other.

If I got pregnant again I can honestly say I’d be praying for another boy because I can barely cope with the love I have for the way my current two are together so I can’t envisage how amazing it would be to throw another brother into the mix.

Honestly OP - don’t be anxious about the possibility it may be a boy because if it is, you are hopefully going to provide your current son with a potentially very special sibling relationship.

My DD is very strong willed and rebellious. As a little girl we were very close but the teenage years hit her hard and now she is hugely critical of me, rejects any attempts at conversation or closeness and has made it clear she will be off on her own the first chance she gets. I've even been told I won't be needed in the future when she has children and won't be welcome as a houseguest. She is so stubborn that I expect she will follow this through. I'm not some terrible parent by the way, it's just how she has evolved. My sons are caring and kind but they have girlfriends who have a very close bond with their own mothers. So having a daughter is no guarantee of being needed or wanted in the future! I

I 'm envious of mothers and daughters with a close relationship and I've got a daughter!

YABU It's sex not gender.

I'm pregnant with number 2 and have one son already. I was convinced I was having a boy, I love all the dinosaurs and cars and rockets, and I was so excited for my son to have a brother, he loves his cousins so much. We are having a girl but I'm sure she will frow to love dinosaurs, wrestling and spiderman too!

I have three DS’s and two DD’s. My DD’s were by far the most difficult babies and toddlers, they have always been louder and more boisterous than the boys. They don’t like pink or princesses whatsoever and are more inclined to laugh at smelly farts than DS’s! My oldest DS doesn’t like sport at all so football only became a thing in our house when DS2 took a liking to it.

Not every child follows societal norms by any means. There’s no way every single boy is smelly, boisterous and into football. Healthy is the best thing to aim for.

Two boys, now 19 and 15. Neither were loud, boisterous, chaotic or messy.

I always wanted boys, I would have been lost raising girls. I don't have stereotypically female interests.

I think what may have made it easy for me is their father. He isn't a neanderthal. He never encouraged a masculine culture of fights or football, competitive pursuits or in anyway created a dynamic that would leave me on the sidelines.

We are planning a holiday for when the youngest turns 18, just the 3 of us off round Europe together. We get along great, and I want to have one last really good adventure before they fly the nest.

Boys are fab. Girls are too of course, but don't fall in to the trap of thinking a girl will be your best friend, shopping buddy and spa partner. She might. But equally so not all mother and daughter relationships are close. And if you consciously raise boys to be calm, empathetic, caring, and kind you may find them to be just as loyal and nice to be around. But then I think it goes back to my first point about outlook and interests. I share common interests with mine, so I love spending time with them.

I have two sons, now 5 & 7. You are right in that I am surrounded by mess, mud, dinosaurs and fart jokes. But I am also surrounded by love, laughter and a very different view of how the world is.

FWIW, I sonny think my children could be more different if they were a girl and a boy. My eldest is loud, full-on, boisterous, un-coordinated, always in the go, but also the most caring and loving big brother anyone could ask for. My youngest is a calm, sensitive little soul, who loves detail, art, music and setting up and playing out meticulous small world games.

It is a joy to parent my boys, and although I was nervous when I learned that number two was a boy, if we were to have a third, I would now be happy with another boy.

I have two boys. It's great.

They get along well, bicker sometimes rather than physically fight, aren't massively into football other than a kick about in the garden, prefer gymnastics, swimming, rock climbing and bike riding at the moment. They do like fast jokes but so do I....childish rather than "boyish".

They are very loving to me.

I think boys and girls can be equally as messy or as tidy as each other!

I think mens roles are changing in society and this equality will lead to more equality for both sets of grandparents too. However, there are many families where paternal grandparents aren't the lesser set, as alluded to by a PP above.

I have 2 boys and a girl.
DD is absolutely disgustingly filthy compared to the boys. Her bedroom is a pigsty and she leaves apple cores lying around and all sorts. When I tell her to clean it she hides stuff.
She is also the one who taught herself to burp in demand.
Gender stereotypes are just that - stereotypes.