To ask if you have all DS’s??

[Pumpertrumper]

Considered Nc for this but I’m just going to own it. Please be kind not looking for abuse.

I’m 12 weeks with number 2 and starting to feel gender anxiety ducks for cover it’s come from nowhere. Never thought I’d mind as long as baby was healthy.

I have a very small DS already and I’m sure this is another boy. It’s just a feeling. I don’t think one gender is ‘better’ than the other at all and understand that kids don’t always follow ‘gender norms’ (although the majority do at a young age- I’ve spent a fair amount of time around kids).

I guess two of one gender just isn’t what I imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s bad just I’m struggling to picture it. I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend.
(I grew up in a family of boys and it was exactly like this ^ I felt so different and left out)

Can people with all boys possibly share how amazing it is? The unexpected upsides? The non stereotypical stuff?

Everyone and Thor dog is telling me ‘how lovely it would be if you have a girl this time’ but no one and I mean no one seems in any way positive about the prospect of me having another boy! It’s so deflating.

Think hearing some positivity would make a huge difference xx

MIL was happy we were having a girl as she liked doing all the so-called 'girly' stuff but TBH, DD was never really interested in it at all anyway. She'd rather play Minecraft!

DS on the other hand, loved Nanna's dolls house and playing with small things like that.

Kids never do what you want them to anyway!

I have two boys and if I am lucky enough to have another baby I wouldn’t care if it was another boy. I love my boys (6 and 3) they are kind, funny and so lovely, always want hugs and kisses. I couldn’t ask for more. I like to when people refer them to ‘(insert name) boys’ it’s lovely to watch my boys playing together, they call each other ‘best brother’ and say they are best friends. I couldn’t possible ask for more or be dissatisfied I don’t have a girl.

We have a four bedroom house but the boys wanted to share a room, honestly it’s amazing shaving just one gender. It’s great at Christmas too as they want the same toys so don’t need to spend as much 😁

Never listen to Thor dog, he's a twat.

I had ds first. Then really wanted a dd, as the idea of one of each sounds perfect. I found out it's a boy, I was rather upset due to my own selfish reasons, but after he was born and I started to see the relationship ds has, I realised this is actually for the best, if he didn't have a brother, I would've wished he did. There's 2 years between them and they have such a beautiful close bond with each other! They can't stay apart, and really miss each other if one has gone out. They are 6 and 8 now. They have all boys stuff in common, I always say to everyone am so glad that second child was a boy and not a girl as I know ds1 would not have had this relationship with a sister, but as brothers they are both in to the same games, clothes shoes, hairstyle, tv programs.
They have so much fun in each other's company! I mean everytime we go out, they use that opportunity to play hide and seek from each other and drive me mad, but at the same time it really warms my heart that they have each other to do all these silly things with.
I have a niece who plays with them, but can't keep up with them, she'll stop playing mid way to go do some colouring or watch tv, which further solidifies in my mind that had second child been a girl, my ds wouldn't have been able to have the same relationship as he does with his brother. It's important to have same sex siblings, it's easier when older to share personal things with same sex sibling than the opposite.
I have another niece who is very boyish! Hates everything girly, refuses to wear dresses! Hates pink. So having a girl doesn't necessarily mean she will be how we perceive girls to be.

I understand op why you feel the way you do, because you missed out in your childhood, growing up I hated boys stuff. Didn't like football. After having boys, am a proper boys mum, I encourage them to go football, bought all their football outfits, I've always thought boys toys are so much more fun to play with, I prefer it over girls toys. And you never know it might be a girl your having. You can do the I think it's called harmony test, you send your blood sample and they can tell you what your carrying. Your able to do it as early as 8 weeks

@Tomorrowistomorrow

Society is shit at the moment. Girls are groomed and plucked to within a mm of their eye brows and seen as needing to be smart, polite, compliant and lovely. Boys are seen at shits who can't behave and underachieve and this is "typical of a boy".

When pregnant with my DS I was very ill, with HG at like 4 weeks pregnant onwards. The midwife nurse at my local GP surgery -said you've got to be -got to be pregnant with a boy -boys cause trouble wherever they go -and never stop. Firstly HG doesn't mean a boy. When it was a boy she tutted and said "told you so" "boys cause so many problems, they don't listen" -at primary school I was told he "was a typical boy" in reception and asked what it meant "he doesn't listen and hits with sticks and runs around" etc and doesn't do his work properly. The teacher had an expectation for boys and expectation for girls. I'm very pleased to say I pulled him out of the school -fast. I went beserk -he wasn't like that at home - my ex doesn't like me sewing or knitting with him as "he is a boy" like he can't do those things WTF? Yet he is fine about me doing with DD.

Society is crap. Stereotypes are a million times worse now than in the 1970s when I grew up. Feminism has gone backwards not forwards. When a primary school teacher accepts poor behaviour because it is a "typical boy behaviour so therefore I didn't ring home" or handwriting standards a lower as " boys find it harder" I wonder what the f**k society has done.

Its awful, isn't it. People stick these stereotypes on children from before they're born, put girls and boys into expected boxes, then wonder why there's such an issue arising over 'gender' confusion these days. It starts at home, this idea that being a girl means behaving like x and boy like y. Then you go out into the world and the poison of gender ideals is 100x worse. There's no such thing as gender stereotypes - gender IS stereotype, and the very worst thing is, its being celebrated and encouraged. If you don't agree, you're a bigot. Society is a hellhole when gender is concerned, especially for girls where it's downright dangerous at times.

It's not "twaddle" for people to tell you you're using the word gender incorrectly instead of sex.

And it is sex. Not gender.

You mean biological sex anxiety. Only the child can choose their gender in today’s world and it’s literal violence to attribute a gender to someone that hasn’t explicitly told you theirs.

I have two boys, 6 and 4, and honestly I love it! Yes there are dinosaurs and Lego everywhere and plenty of rough and tumble but I like all of those things 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

They’re also super cuddly, the best of friends, play together really well and are basically adorable. They’re very kind, good at sharing and ask me to paint their nails.

I have two boys. The first pregnancy I knew was a boy - a mini Mike Tyson in utero. The second, I was sure was going to be either a girl or a cat. Turned out to be a boy too!

So your feeling that this is another boy may well be wrong.

Also, having only DSs is great, as PPs have said.

I haven’t read the whole thread but I was a girl with three brothers and I agree, I did feel different and not in a good way as I grew up.

I had two sons. It was absolutely different from my childhood. In fact all the things you mentioned, sport, poo jokes etc did happen but so did a lot else. They are extremely different people and this is what you have to remember. All people are very different.

They are adults now and I’m very, very long past regretting not having a daughter. I genuinely didn’t mind when I was pregnant but it did factor into my thoughts when considering a third, mainly because I didn’t want a girl to feel left out.

Congratulations

@Pumpertrumper

Except the judgmental ‘it’s gender not sex YABU’ twaddle. With babies it 100% is gender they have no concept of who they are.
Well quite. Which is why you mean sex not gender, you know the actual biological thing.

but I do hate the trolls who come on threads like this and refuse to acknowledge (or actually fully argue) that the experience of having a baby boy vs baby girl isn’t any different.
Other than genitals, and therefore nappy changing, what exactly do you think is different about the baby period?

Society dictates an awful lot and I do understand why mums feel they’ve ‘lost out on the experience of a baby girl’. No 3 month old is transgender
Exactly. Babies of both sexes need to be warm, clean, fed and loved. Thats all. They don't know or care what colour clothes they have.

When my DS was 9m old I got pregnant with my 2nd. Watching ds grow I thought it would be amazing for him to have a little brother to share things with and had visions of two little boys joined at the hip.
Dc 2 is a girl.
It is different from what I fantasized about and dd is very different to ds in many ways.
They love each other dearly but do not share any interests.
I however still would have loved ds to have experienced that same-sex, close in age, sibling bond.

Although I understand that no matter what the sex, this is not guaranteed.

Also I think it’s natural to feel some sadness in any situation. I only want two children because I really suffer in pregnancy, and have recently found out I’m having a girl (first was a boy) I was really excited and then went to bed and couldn’t sleep for the heartbreaking feeling that ‘this means I’ll never have another little boy’. I had a name picked out and it was a sense of loss to grieve that I think you can have either outcome. It’s the loss of a possible person that could have been. For that reason I don’t think it’s necessary related just to the sex of the baby.

I have four sons and it's amazing. They are such an incredible jumble of all the good things I could have wanted from having children.

We have never bothered about gender, it's all bollocks anyway. When they wanted dolls, they got dolls. When they wanted Lego, they got that. They can all sew, knit, bake and do basic household/farm maintenance. Two of them are very capable at handling boats (the other two get horribly seasick). Both their father and I have passed on our individual skills, and they will do what they please with them.

Genitals are such a small part of what makes children interesting. This is one of the rare times in life where you get to choose how happy you are- you can choose to see this as a source of anxiety, or you can choose to celebrate the wonderful experience of having another child.

I have 2 boy's and I would not have it any other way. They are only 16 months apart and are best mates. I am a single mum and the 3 of us are so close. They are 11 and 13 now and take it upon themselves to be the men of the house, they carry the heavy shopping and make me cups of tea when I am tired after work.

Yes there is definitely a lot of football, fortnite and other typical boy stuff but my youngest also loves things like art and origami (granted he is making ninja stars and paper catapults) I am also lucky enough to have nieces and friends with daughters though, so I feel like I have the best of both worlds. You will love your children regardless of what you have so try not to worry about it now.

2 boys a couple of years apart, love each other to bits, play together, want to do the same things. Little one loves getting his brothers hand downs and they share almost all toys. Hand on heart we would have loved a little girl and were a little sad when the scan came, but our two boys just work so well together we don't miss not having a girl.

Not me but a school friend of mine has 4 boys and she said it's awesome. They are great friends, keep each other entertained and are really funny. I have 3 girls and I really love having all the same. I actually didn't mind what I had but hoped to have the same.

I always wanted boys because they seemed easier. More chill.

I have a girl and a boy and wouldnt change it for the world. I had a stillbirth of twin boys 8 years ago and have always wondered what it might have been like to have a girl and 2 boys but then my lovely chilled out ds5 wouldnt have been born.

Healthy babies are all I care about.

I have 2 son 17 and 11, 1 daughter 19. Preteens my dd was much easier, the boys are full on messy, hyper and absolutely hilarious. Teenage years in finding my ds to be much more relaxed than dd, she'll stress over little things, he's chilled about everything, neither have been any trouble. My 11 year old is totally different from either, he's pure joy of fart jokes, pranks, shouting at the xbox, wants hugs every time he passes me, but can also be very whiny when things arent going his way.

I think it's down to the child and their personality.

I have 2 boys and a girl. I think it doesnt make a great deal of difference tbh. They all have their dramas and they all have their joyful bits. Saying that, my daughter is a total tomboy, but from both my experience, and from experience of those close to me, its far more about the personality of the child rather than their sex. Its not as if my two boys are anything alike.

I am so in love with my gorgeous little boy. He is kind, caring, sweet, intelligent, beautiful and funny. You will LOVE yours.

I have two much older girls and a young ds. I think you'll find so many differences between siblings! They're all very much their own personalities from very young.

I have two boys and a girl. My boys have never been into getting muddy or football, both are into computing, gaming, lego and have their own interest subjects which are quiet and home-based. Both have a tight-knit group of good friends, that consist of very similar lads. My middle ds (now 16) is very family orientated and still gives me hugs on a daily basis.

Dd has been full on 100 mph since day one, she loves getting muddy and thinks farting is the most hilarious thing ever. I never stood on football pitch in the freezing cold - and thought I’d managed to side-step that particular joy - until she joined football club and got into the team! On top of all that, we have all the friendship dramas on a never-ending loop. She’s more exhausting than both my boys put together, but also a sweet cuddlebug with a huge heart and an absolute joy at the same time.

@Doublebubblebubble

I always wanted boys because they seemed easier. More chill.

I have a girl and a boy and wouldnt change it for the world. I had a stillbirth of twin boys 8 years ago and have always wondered what it might have been like to have a girl and 2 boys but then my lovely chilled out ds5 wouldnt have been born.

Healthy babies are all I care about.

I'm so sorry you lost your twins. My only daughter was stillborn 14 years ago this month and I know it's a heartbreak that never truly leaves you. She would have been my third and I had two more (live) births after her. After her loss, I never asked "Is it a boy or a girl?", only "Is it alive?".

I have a ds and a dd. Thought dd was going to be another boy...I was convinced.

Anyway, I love them equally. But I will say I think naturally I suit being a mum of girls more. My ds is a typical boy, loves being outdoors and sports. I'm the least sporty, outdoorsy person ever. Mud features more in my life than I want it to. My dd is more like me, loves reading, shopping, baking. My family is overwhelmingly female. I've had to teach myself to get outdoors, kick a ball, stay in goal and have muddy shoes!