To ask if you have all DS’s??

[Pumpertrumper]

Considered Nc for this but I’m just going to own it. Please be kind not looking for abuse.

I’m 12 weeks with number 2 and starting to feel gender anxiety ducks for cover it’s come from nowhere. Never thought I’d mind as long as baby was healthy.

I have a very small DS already and I’m sure this is another boy. It’s just a feeling. I don’t think one gender is ‘better’ than the other at all and understand that kids don’t always follow ‘gender norms’ (although the majority do at a young age- I’ve spent a fair amount of time around kids).

I guess two of one gender just isn’t what I imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s bad just I’m struggling to picture it. I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend.
(I grew up in a family of boys and it was exactly like this ^ I felt so different and left out)

Can people with all boys possibly share how amazing it is? The unexpected upsides? The non stereotypical stuff?

Everyone and Thor dog is telling me ‘how lovely it would be if you have a girl this time’ but no one and I mean no one seems in any way positive about the prospect of me having another boy! It’s so deflating.

Think hearing some positivity would make a huge difference xx

@Pumpertrumper, my two best friends both have 3 boys each. In each family, the boys couldn't be more different. For e.g. in one family, there's the sensitive gardener who loves growing tomatoes and caring for the dog, the active adventurer constantly making forts and tee-pees, and the artist who can sit happily for hours drawing, tracing, reading, dreaming.

As hard as it is, try not to limit your boys by imagining that football/starwars/mud is inevitable (though I must admit, even as a girl I loved getting muddy and being carefree). You get to expose them to so many facets of life beyond stereotypical activities. In my experience, kids are curious about a huge range of activities. Regardless of whether you have a DS or DD, treat them to all of the activities you'd do with a girl - caring for toys, learning to cook, tea parties, crafts.

Even if you have another boy it won't be like having two of your son. My mum had two girls first, followed by a boy and then another girl. Neither myself or my sister closest in age are very much alike, we have completely different interests and not much in common apart from being sisters. We did play together a lot as kids and had lots of fights. I have a dd followed by a ds and I was greatful to have different experiences with them both, I always wanted at least one of each. They are very close at the moment but do fight too. My dh is one of two siblings, both male and whilst they got on loads as children and still do they don't make many plans to meet up together or phone each other very often.

On posts like this you always get the stereotyping that boys are more affectionate etc. which as the mum of a dd too is annoying. My ds is very affectionate with me moreso than he is with other family members, my dd is affectionate with everyone, she thinks nothing of curling up in her grandma's lap. Both kids bring me immense joy as will yours, whether you have two boys or one of each!

I have two girls - there is a lot of mud and fart jokes (and loud uncontrolled farting - I blame their fathers influence for the latter). Dinosaur stage is behind us but plenty of other small plastic items to tread on and plenty of noise.
I doubt they are as rambunctious as a family of boys can be but not all small boys are.

I have two DS with 21mth gap, my two are 19 &17, really close brothers & best friends. I love having two boys wouldn’t change it for the world.

Many congrats OP, whether it’s a boy or girl it really doesn’t matter, children are a blessing, they truly are. I would do it all again if I could.

@Pumpertrumper

Considered Nc for this but I’m just going to own it. Please be kind not looking for abuse.

I’m 12 weeks with number 2 and starting to feel gender anxiety ducks for cover it’s come from nowhere. Never thought I’d mind as long as baby was healthy.

I have a very small DS already and I’m sure this is another boy. It’s just a feeling. I don’t think one gender is ‘better’ than the other at all and understand that kids don’t always follow ‘gender norms’ (although the majority do at a young age- I’ve spent a fair amount of time around kids).

I guess two of one gender just isn’t what I imagined. That doesn’t mean it’s bad just I’m struggling to picture it. I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend.
(I grew up in a family of boys and it was exactly like this ^ I felt so different and left out)

Can people with all boys possibly share how amazing it is? The unexpected upsides? The non stereotypical stuff?

Everyone and Thor dog is telling me ‘how lovely it would be if you have a girl this time’ but no one and I mean no one seems in any way positive about the prospect of me having another boy! It’s so deflating.

Think hearing some positivity would make a huge difference xx

I have three DSs and I love them more than anything. When my third DS was born the midwife said, “oh dear, never mind, it’s another boy”. I could have hit her!

I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to have three beautiful children. ❤️❤️❤️

I have one ds!
We played tea parties, dress up, face(make-up) painting, etc when was younger. Now along with train track, dolls/teddies, cars etc.he' helps me cook, I occasionally pretend to care about mine craft/football. And he pretends to not mind coming to the shops with me.
He's cuddly, beautiful, kind, loud, quiet, fidgety, and amazing.

People just say stuff...
DS is 8!
People still ask me when I'm going to "give him a sibling" ...

How cruel I am only having one..

but that's a whole other thread

I have two boys OP and they share the most wonderful bond, I honestly don't think they would be as close as they are if they were a boy and a girl.

Yes, they are either the best of friends or the worst of enemies, but for the most part they get on amazingly well.

They are very different in terms of their personalities, in fact I'd go as far to say they are chalk and cheese, but they are both wonderful and complement each other perfectly.

They have a lot of shared interests and I honestly don't feel I've missed out not having a girl.

I think other people were more disappointed for me that I was having a second boy (we had a surprise with DS1 and a gender scan with DS2) than I was.

Be prepared for the pity in some people's voices and the ridiculous irritating comments like "oh well, hopefully you'll get a girl next time" - next time?! DH Granny wouldn't stop barking on about us having another.

As it happens, I'm currently pregnant with DC3, we are going to have another surprise, but I honestly think I will have a third boy, but I'll be delighted either way so long as they are happy and healthy. We haven't told anyone yet so I'm fully prepared for the delightful comments already.

My boys are very cuddly and affectionate, even though they are 8 and 6.

If you do have two DS then you will love them and settle into the swing of things.

And you're allowed to feel however you want to feel, just work your way through your feelings slowly but surely and be kind to yourself.

Neither of mine are into football.

Two of my friends who have girls are massively into football. They’re the ones that spend their weekends standing in a field. You know girls can like dinosaurs too right? Ask yourself what you want a girl for, as often on these gender disappointment type threads (and it’s always always about boys) it’s about wanting a girl to go on spa days with and shopping.

I think two of the same sex tend to be closer than one of each. I grew up with a brother and we aren’t that close. I always wanted a sister.
My two DSs are really close. DS2 always turns to DS1 when he’s feeling lost or anxious and DS1 always has his back. They’ll quite often go out together these days (teens). It wouldn’t have crossed my mind to go into town or to the park with my brother.

To address what bigusbumas said, once I had kids I got on much better and was far closer to my MIL than my DM. My DC adored MIL who was great with them. No issues with DM, she just isn’t much into little kids and was very busy anyway with other stuff. MIL was into her DGC so we were much closer with her side of the family.

I have DD 7 and 2 boys - 2 & 1. My DD loves Lego, doesn’t really play with many dolls but has a few but her favourite thing is Lego. Pre covid she had a season ticket for football with DH. Plays football at school with the boys and another couple of girls. Belongs to a girls football team and is really good!
My 2 boys are polar opposites. One is shy, very affectionate, would sit on my knee all day cuddling if he could and do nothing. He is very neat and tidy. He has additional needs.
My youngest who is only 1 is very cheeky, loves cars, will not kiss me!! He laughs if I try and kiss him and says No No and shakes his head.
They’re all amazing in their own way and I love them for who they are.

I have two boys and I love it. I was upset when I found out DS1 was a boy. I'd picked a girl's name and was just convinced it was a girl.

But I love having two boys. I had a brother and we never got on (still don't). I was just his annoying little sister. But my two love each other, yes there are loads of fart jokes and fighting and dinosaurs, but there are also lots of hugs and cuddles and caring and love between them.
When they see each other at the end of school they run towards each other and hug each other. I absolutely love their bond and the fact that they have each other. It makes me immeasurably happy.

I love that they are cuddly and loving with me too!

I only have 1 DS but he only stuck with a football team for 2 years. Now DH is all why doesn't he want to come to watch football with me? Well because he's found his own interests! DS plays different sports and I'm not sporty, but neither are many of the other parent chauffeurs. We just chat about anything and everything and have had some great weekends away for tournaments.

Who knows what your DC will enjoy when young? Mine is a teen and loves cooking together, we watch comedies, dramas and quiz shows in the same room!

There is literally no way you can know what your child is going to be like, whether they are a boy or a girl.

You could have a girl who is very boisterous and misbehaves and LOVES football.

You could have a boy who is sensitive and likes being indoors and reading all the time.

You literally don't know until they are here and that is what is lovely about it. Try not to have expectations.

(Heaven forbid you could even have a transgender or intersex child!)

I have 3 boys - they are noisy and messy and dirty and always fighting eachother. They play football in the front room when my back is turned and eat all the snacks on the day I buy them. My car is always muddy from their sports and there is a constant stream of dirty sports kit. I can never watch the TV I want to. I would not have it any other way - boys are great

I have 5 boys. They're all older now but none of them have been into sport so I haven't had to sit on freezing touchlines. They've done, at various times, karate, fencing, trampolining and tap dancing. Nice warm indoor activities!

Not really into dinosaurs or Lego either. 3 are big bookworms and would sit and read quietly for huge amounts of time.

We like hiking as a family so that involved lots of mud. And they all did Scouts from Beavers to Explorers so that was a good way of getting them outside (I would say without having to get involved but I ended up as a leader)

Fart jokes - I'm probably worse than them for that.

I love having boys! Though I don't know different so I'm sure I would have loved girls just as much too.

I have three sons in their teens - my god have they been hard work over the years but I'm sure that would be true of girls too.

I originally hoped for a girl but am now very glad they were all boys. It's been easier to please them on days out/holidays and with toys. Saved money passing down clothes etc too. They had shared interests when they were younger. None of them have ever been into football or team sports so I dodged that bullet!

They are loud and physical and lots of things have ended up broken in our house! But there is never a dull moment and they all still hug me every day. Even the middle one, who for some reason calls me by my first name and not Mum

YABU to refer to sex as gender. 🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦🤦

There's such a lot to be said for having two of the same sex rather than one of each imo. Things like them being able to share rooms for longer if needed.

I have 3ds the best thing is that you can get rid of the stereotypes, crafting isn’t a girl thing it’s a ds3 thing. Baking isn’t a girl thing it’s a ds2 thing, chatting incessantly about their day and drama isn’t a girl thing it’s a ds1 thing. They are all very different and like different things and the nice thing about all boys is nothing is off limits because it’s seen as a girl thing. A bit like the advantage of a single sex school where certain subjects aren’t seen as the preserve of one sex. I think with each child it really comes down to personality. I only have boys but but I find them very loving, forgive easily and fairly relaxed. If they have a problem it can generally be sorted fairly easily.

I have 3 little girls, very close in age, they enjoy fart jokes, talking about poo and bums is hilarious to them and they love Star Wars (they have only seen the original plus clone wars...). Their boy cousin enjoys playing mums and dads with them and has been known to dress up as a fairy/princess/butterfly and have a tea party with them.

And they fight (so much and so violently when the twins were toddlers) and play in the mud, though often in pretty dresses.

I got a lot of rude comments about my girls early on and people still say “poor you” “glad it is not me” “maybe the next one will be a boy” (spoiler alert, I’m not having more).

I have over time refined my ability to shut it down and point out how unbelievably rude they are being. “Why?” with a glare is a good short sharp response.

Do I sometimes wonder about the son I will never have? Sure. Do I think my girls are the best thing that ever happened to me? Yes.

Also I see families with lots of little boys all the time and I always think they look like they are having just as much fun as we are.

Three amazing sons but just let me leave this here.....the "feeling" you get while pregnant that you are carrying one sex or the other can be very inaccurate. Thought ds 3 was a girl, accidentally saw the relevant body part on the scan, had a slight feeling of disappointment that lasted all of 20 seconds! Then felt thrilled. He is amazing and I wouldn't have it any other way. You'll be fine OP, whatever sex your lovely new baby is.

@Pumpertrumper

where you say "I see mess, fights, mud everywhere, fart jokes, dinosaurs EVERYWHERE and football on every weekend"

replace football with tree climbing, and dinosaurs with Space stuff and that is life with my two girls