Inheritance worry

[Worthless90s]

Evening all, I am just wondering if I am being unreasonable or not. I am finding it increasingly unfair how my dad has sorted his will. He is remarried to a younger woman and they have 2 children together. I love my stepmom and my brother and sister dearly, I just really don’t like that my dad appears to have left everything to her.

He has said that his children get his pension if he dies whilst in service, this will be split 5 ways, if he isn’t working we don’t get anything it goes to his wife. He has also said that he has made it that my sisters and I cannot force my stepmum to sell their approx £400,000 house in order to get our money so we have to wait for her either to sell or when she dies it has been written that his half will get split 5 ways (we would never force her to sell anyway, it is not in any of nature)

My stepmum always tell people she has 5 children not 2 and she loves us all equally but I don’t quite believe she will take that attitude when it comes to any inheritance I worry that she will keep it all and my sisters and I won’t get anything. If that happens my brother and sister would stand to inherit half a million each.

My mum on the other hand has stayed completely fair and her house has been left 50:50 between her husbands children and hers. I just don’t get my dad as he has always stated he would be fair and we would always get something from him so now I’m confused why it sounds like he isn’t leaving us anything. I don’t know if it is a change of heart as his parents won’t have anything to leave him but his wife’s family are all about leaving everything to their children.

For the record I don’t expect anything from my dad, and I want him to live a long and full life. I love my dad and my family, I just don’t get it.. he says it is written when she passes away it gets split 5 ways but she is nearly 20 years younger than my dad. I think the thing that confuses me the most is that before he met her and even when they first started dating he always swore he would split it between all his children fairly and now he isn’t.

I feel like I should speak to him but my stepmum would get instantly hurt like I was making her out to be an evil stepmum (which I’m totally not, I love her to bits) or he would tell me that I was only after his money (which again I’m not) I would get it if he said that his plans are going to change when my brother and sister are over 18 because then no one has “children” to raise. I just know my stepmum will have left any of her equity to my brother and sister so why can’t my dad.

AIBU for wanting to talk to him and tell him how unfair i find the whole thing.

“ For the record I don’t expect anything from my dad” But clearly you do.

I don’t expect anything from him per say.. I’m just more confused than anything that ever since I can remember my sisters and I have been told that he would be leaving us something and now within the last couple of years he has changed his whole stance..

When I say I don’t expect, I mean there is no figure or property or items which have been expected to come to certain people. He has just always stood on that side of the fence that children inherit now it seems to be randomly that he has crossed over the fence to leaving everything to his wife.

It’s his money to do what he wants with. He might live to 100, he might need it all to cover care etc.

It makes sense that he wants his spouse and mother of his children to have a comfortable roof over her head if he passes away. It sounds like he does want you to have the money when the time is right.

how old are you/your sisters and your younger siblings?

It's his money, he can do as he wishes with it.

His plans all sound more that reasonable. What's your ideal scenario?

Why shouldn't she expect to be remembered in her own father's will? Only on Mumsnet is that seen to be greedy. He's her father - he should include her.

Do you expect your stepmum to sell her home if he dies so you can access his cash?

YABU and you know it. It’s his money mot yours and he’s not even dead yet and your thinking about inheritance? Says it all really.

Think of it from another point of view.
He will have died and in order to pay you, she would have to sell the home she lived in with him.
He has provided for her

But he has been fair hasn’t he? Left to his spouse, and eventually split between children? Or have I read that wrong?

Nowt you can do love. Accept it and enjoy your life. Some people won’t inherit a 1p.

What your father has done is perfectly common and perfectly fair. He doesn’t think his wife should have her home taken away from her if he dies 🤷🏻‍♀️
Yes, her ages means you have to wait out her dying 🙄 for longer, but - that’s just how the cookie crumbles.
At least have the balls to be honest that it’s about money!
Why should she lose her home, for you, who already has a home?

I would speak to him now, after the event, it will all be too late.

However, speaking to him carries risk and only you can decide if its worth it.

If he dies and she is a relatively young woman and meets someone else, you will get nothing and that may be not what your dad wants.

You have the same amount of say in the winning lottery numbers as you do inheritance.

Stop worrying about something you can't change.

@HollowTalk

Why shouldn't she expect to be remembered in her own father's will? Only on Mumsnet is that seen to be greedy. He's her father - he should include her.

But he has included her, following a perfectly normal life interest for his wife.

AIBU: sadly my husband just died. He has left our home to his 5 children, 2 of whom are mine. They are all adults with their own homes. I’ve just found out that I will be homeless at 50, because my home must be sold to pay them. AIBU to think it would have been fair for him to delay their inheritance until after I died?

@CuppaZa- she doesn’t need to adhere to that though.. she can go guy somewhere more expensive for instance and there would be nothing we can do about it.

I forgot to mention he even stated that he was going to take out a life insurance policy for his half of the house and then divide that by 5. He then seems to have backtracked on that too.

I am the second wife. I had two children with my husband and there were two children 13 and 15 years older. My husband died. This us how the will went: as we both owned the house it automatically went to me. There were no other significant assets other than his life insurance, and as part of the divorce on his death his ex wife got quite a bit in cash and pensions. The life insurance was split 75% to me, 25% between his ex and older kids.
My husband died unexpectedly and at the peak of his career, and I am only a few years younger. My children had just started school.
I believe he expected that I would need a home and support for his youngest children, and his eldest, both being legal adults, had already benefitted from private education etc, and would inherit from their own mother, as all her assets were actually from him.
What about your mother? Does she get anything upon his death?
I dont really think you had anything to complain about. You will get some money eventually, and your fathers other children, being much younger, need more support.
You say you don't expect anything from your father, but your post is all about not inheriting what you obviously think is yours, and that might not even happen.

Christ, another inheritance thread.

For the record I don’t expect anything from my dad

Ehh, you clearly do. You’re already sizing up his house and commenting on the value of it, while the man is still alive, and cribbing that you’re going to have to wait for his wife to die for you to get your hands on your share of their home.

Surely the house at least is fair. His half split 5 ways, and his wife can do what she likes with her half.

@thecatsatonthewall- that is my issue what if she meets someone else and than changes the whole will to suit herself and my siblings..

As stated we would never force her to sell and my dad has a lot more equity than just the house so we never even thought about the house.

The one thing that got me was that he left his marriage to my mum with money and he said would be getting that split 3 ways as that was fair because it was equity gained when he was with my mum but that seems to have been cut out too

Why does it matter. Seriously get a grip. I want no inheritance tbh of my mum. I'd rather my brother who lives in a council house inherit my mums house and live there happily and my mum and her husband have nice holidays and enjoy life. My honest opinion is work hard for your own money and expect nothing from others. She is his wife and why should she be made to move so u can have the money? No she stays in her house and when she dies it is split 5 ways

He doesn’t need to take out life insurance if he has a death in service benefit through work.

If his wife has a life interest in the family home, it may be that it then reverts to his five children after she dies. So she’s not thrown out but can’t cut anyone out. That’s how my mum has done it with her husband. He gets benefits of her shares and to live in the house but never “owns” them. They’re in trust.

Either way - if you think your step mother is going to cut you out (you don’t think she’s as nice as all that apparently if you think she wouldn’t bother to respect your father’s wishes for his children) you had better budget for it and if she doesn’t: bonus.

[quote Worthless90s]@CuppaZa- she doesn’t need to adhere to that though.. she can go guy somewhere more expensive for instance and there would be nothing we can do about it.

I forgot to mention he even stated that he was going to take out a life insurance policy for his half of the house and then divide that by 5. He then seems to have backtracked on that too.[/quote]
Does his will state that his share is left to split between his 5 children but that his wife has the option to live in it until she dies or sells, whichever happens first? When she dies your dads 5 children will get their share from his half and his wife's share will be split as she sees fit, presumably between her 2 children.
This is common in blended families & is reasonably fair.

What's with all the inheritance post lately. You will get what you are given.

Well at least you're not lumbered with death duties...,. Be thankful for that.

Ask your dad the next time he mentions his will whether he's organised his will tax efficiently. He might realise that leaving it all to his wife might mean it all goes to the tax man or a new spouse.

Dividing his assets amongst several beneficiaries might be a better option. Particularly if his wife remarries & then dies, then all his assets will go to her new spouse rather than his biological children. I'd approach it that way, the house is better left directly to the children rather than the remaining spouse. That way it can't be sold for care home fees or go to another spouse. I'd keep reminding him of remarriage and sideways disinheritance of his younger children.