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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report this teacher to the school (help!!!)

229 replies

hellolovely7 · 22/10/2020 19:24

Actually NC because a lot of school mum's know me on here and I feel so awkward about this situation but

My DS is in secondary school, he can be a bit of an idiot but I'm not on here for an incarceration of his behaviour. Today he was spending time in the behaviour centre and one of the teachers in there touched him. Impossible to get out of him what actually happened as he has clammed up about it now but basically AIBU to report this to the school due to covid? Surely teachers should be 2 metres away and definitely not touching the students????

For context and not to be a drip feed, he basically came home and was like "Miss xxxx" hugged me today. I was like, wtf, and he was like nah she didn't really hug me but she did touch me mum so ive probs got covid now. I asked him exactly what happened but he said i was making a fuss and she was just comforting him due to having a strop but he said he was a bit surprised that she touched him and he apparently told her she would give him COVID and then she apologised.

Do you think this is dealt with and it was just an error of judgement from the teacher or do you think I should be making a bigger deal? I am genuinely torn

OP posts:
Slightlybrwnbanana · 22/10/2020 19:26

Spray him in disinfectant.

LolaSkoda · 22/10/2020 19:26

I would want a teacher to hug my kid if he was upset etc.

Tbh with yours, the change of story then clamming up would make me think he may not be telling me the whole truth.

winewolfhowls · 22/10/2020 19:27

Dealt with.

GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy · 22/10/2020 19:27

Oh honestly...

mineofuselessinformation · 22/10/2020 19:27
Hmm
OverTheRainbow88 · 22/10/2020 19:29

Teachers aren’t 2m away. Ideally I would avoid touching my students even pre covid but if I didn’t I wouldn’t expect a parent to complain.

Unless it was inappropriate touching?

Hercwasonaroll · 22/10/2020 19:29

Really....

The teacher is probably more at risk than he is.

Stay quiet and be glad they tried to comfort him.

PoloNeckKnickers · 22/10/2020 19:29

'Incarceration' ? Confused

CuppaZa · 22/10/2020 19:29

I’m flabbergasted that you believe teachers are able to stay two meters away from all students and staff.

She was comforting him.

IndecentFeminist · 22/10/2020 19:30

Different here as am in primary but do you genuinely think teachers can always be distanced from pupils? She put herself at risk to comfort him (and she is at greater risk remember) and you want to report her for it? Bonkers.

I spend half my working day with a 9 yr old sat on my lap, while other 9 yr olds tap me.on the shoulder, tug at my sleeve, ask me to tie their tie for them etc etc.

Devlesko · 22/10/2020 19:30
Biscuit
flaviaritt · 22/10/2020 19:30

She was trying to help a distressed child. No, you shouldn’t ‘report’ her.

year5teacher · 22/10/2020 19:31

She could have put her arm round him. Honestly my opinion is:

  1. Teachers should be avoiding touching pupils right now
  2. Not a good idea for her to be alone in a room with a pupil with the door shut.

Despite my first point, I will say this - a boy in my class was really quite upset today, crying in the playground, and I put my arm around his shoulders for a moment to comfort him, which helped. I’d be very sad if his parents complained about that but it was also in front of many other children and adults.

Are you concerned about the Covid risk? Or that something untoward happened?

zaphodbeeble · 22/10/2020 19:31

I wish the rooms I teach in were big enough to be 2m away !

year5teacher · 22/10/2020 19:32

Ultimately I do think YABU to report it unless you think something inappropriate has happened.

Goosefoot · 22/10/2020 19:33

I think there are a lot of confused kids out there now. My friend's niece started to cry because he stepped closer to her than she thought he was supposed to - she was standing on the doorstep and he was in the path!

Anyway, it is too bad your son was worried about the teacher touching him but I would say she did the right thing to comfort a child who is agitated. If they were touching the same surfaces in the room it's not really any different and like it or not touch is very important in human interactions.

Original poster
hellolovely7 · 22/10/2020 19:33

Ok thanks.

I guess maybe they aren't 2 metres away but the school have sent quite a lot of updates about all of the measures they are taking so I guess I'm just shocked by it.

I don't think he's lying as I can't see why he would totally make it up, I think he just said it to get a reaction out of me, which I guess worked.

I'm not sure why I have used the word incarceration... you know what I meant! I didn't want everyone picking on what my son is in trouble for and giving parenting advice.

I won't report - am probably over reacting.

OP posts:
Badgerbadger22 · 22/10/2020 19:33

Hilarious

Original poster
hellolovely7 · 22/10/2020 19:34

And no I am not worried about anything untoward or inappropriate touching. From the sounds of things yes she was just comforting him.

OP posts:
WhoseThatGirl · 22/10/2020 19:34

She clearly had a moment where she forgot herself due to your son being upset. Of course you shouldn't report her. You should be glad that your son is being treated with compassion despite his behavioural issues, she sounds like a good person.

RaininSummer · 22/10/2020 19:34

The teacher is probably worried now herself but no doubt reached out instinctively so unless you think this was inappropriate in the bad pre Covid way then please don't stir this up

fabulous40s · 22/10/2020 19:34

Wow.

noideaatallreally · 22/10/2020 19:35

and this is one of the many reasons why I got out of teaching...... yes, go one report them. Cause them stress. I'm sure your poorly behaved son will learn a lot from this.....

Haffdonga · 22/10/2020 19:35

Sounds like the teacher made an error of judgement while trying to do something kind for your ds. She then apologised to him for her mistake.

What possible benefit for anyone would there be to complain? What a crying shame that you want to make a complaint about this teacher's actions of all things.

As you've said you don't want an incarceration of your ds's behaviour let's not go into why he was in the behaviour unit but I'm sure there must be other more important issues with school that would be more suitable for your attention and concern.

BrutusMcDogface · 22/10/2020 19:36

Totally overreacting and I’m glad you realise that.

Unless she touched him inappropriately, but it doesn’t sound like that if he said she gave him a hug?

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