To report this teacher to the school (help!!!)

[hellolovely7]

Actually NC because a lot of school mum's know me on here and I feel so awkward about this situation but

My DS is in secondary school, he can be a bit of an idiot but I'm not on here for an incarceration of his behaviour. Today he was spending time in the behaviour centre and one of the teachers in there touched him. Impossible to get out of him what actually happened as he has clammed up about it now but basically AIBU to report this to the school due to covid? Surely teachers should be 2 metres away and definitely not touching the students????

For context and not to be a drip feed, he basically came home and was like "Miss xxxx" hugged me today. I was like, wtf, and he was like nah she didn't really hug me but she did touch me mum so ive probs got covid now. I asked him exactly what happened but he said i was making a fuss and she was just comforting him due to having a strop but he said he was a bit surprised that she touched him and he apparently told her she would give him COVID and then she apologised.

Do you think this is dealt with and it was just an error of judgement from the teacher or do you think I should be making a bigger deal? I am genuinely torn

[DontTouchTheMoustache]

There are no words. 🙄

[mummy2oli]

I would rather a teacher comforted my child if they were upset / distressed. I’d be more annoyed that they used COVID as a reason leave a child like that

[viques]

I would be more interested in why he was sent to a detention room. Is he always this good at diverting you away from the real issues?

[OPTIMUMMY]

It sounds like the teacher was trying to be compassionate and showed genuine concern for him despite the likelihood that his behaviour is problematic, and you want to complain? If it was my son I’d just be grateful that he had a teacher that cared enough to put herself at risk to comfort him (given that she’s more likely to be at risk from covid than your son if anything).
It also sounds like it was an automatic reaction of hers and she did apologise to your son for it and your son doesn’t want you to make a big deal of it. There’s no way I’d be complaining in this case and I’m wondering why you would feel that this would be helpful to your son and his relationship with his teachers and school. I’d take my lead from him- if they’re back at school sometimes things like this might happen.

[year5teacher]

@hellolovely7

And no I am not worried about anything untoward or inappropriate touching. From the sounds of things yes she was just comforting him.

Then you are being unbelievably unreasonable.

[PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe]

WTF is an incarceration of his behaviour?

[MyWedding]

Don't be ridiculous.

[LadyMonicaBaddingham]

Fucks sake...

[MJMG2015]

Well given his rude attitude I'm
Pretty sure she won't be trying to comfort him again anytime soon

You should have taken him to task fir being so rude, not be considering reporting the teacher

[arethereanyleftatall]

Omg. Listen to yourself and have a think about where complaining about this leads. Teacher being kind to pupil sacked. (Ott but point) teachers no longer permitted to offer comfort to children. I'm a swim teacher and if one of my pupils is distressed I will try to comfort them. Because I'm nice. And if a parent should complain about that, then In all honesty, they can fuck off.

[saraclara]

She put herself at risk to comfort him (and she is at greater risk remember) and you want to report her for it? Bonkers.

Yep. I'd be very glad that he had such a caring teacher. She prioritised comforting him over her own safety.

[Parkermumma07]

My son fell over the other day and split his head open, the teacher hugged him as he was upset and touched him again to give him first aid.
Thank god she did I’d hate to think of my child crying and having to sort his own injury out.

[hellolovely7]

I'm sorry this has caused such offence to some people.

I do take on board all of your comments.

Firstly I assure you the reasons he was in the behaviour centre are being dealt with (he has lost his phone). I admit he has been quite good here at diverting my attention as someone said, but me and DH do follow up and he is not a bad kid.

Also, I won't be reporting and i see everyone's points. However due to current COVID crisis, cases rising, schools being very busy places, and me having vulnerable family members, I think it was fair enough this crossed my mind, in a time no one should be hugging/touching that a teacher is hugging/touching/putting arm round my son, which I do think is slightly odd for a 14 year old at any time, but especially during COVID.

As i have said I do not doubt the woman's intentions but think she was potentially not really acting fully professionally in this sense. However i will repeat again that i am not going to complain - but for people who are asking why i would, I guess just to share concerns about the touching/possible risk and behaviour

[pastandpresent]

Wow, so the teacher tried to comfort him and you want to report her.......

I get it it's against the sd rules and everything, but I despair.

[spongedog]

Perhaps email and thank her for supporting him during what is a difficult time for all? I work in a school and we are all at higher risk personally at the moment,

[Slightlybrwnbanana]

@PoorMansPaulaRadcliffe

WTF is an incarceration of his behaviour?

An inquisition, I would assume.

[Sobeyondthehills]

At first I couldn't understand why you were so calm, so I reread it and you do mean touching him on the arm.

Is there now where we are as a society? That if a teacher was trying to comfort an upset student you report them??

[gluteustothemaximus]

I put my arm around a child yesterday, who was very very distressed. I knew in the back of my mind I shouldn't (because, covid) but the poor kid, mental health came before covid yesterday.

[musicalfrog]

I've only recently started working in a school and as a mum it is really hard to resist the urge to physically comfort a child who clearly needs it. If it cost me my job i wouldn't regret it. I just couldn't.

[HereWeAre20]

Are you actually serious? Is this what our world has came too. Poor teacher can’t do right for doing wrong.

[Carrotcakey]

Teacher shows compassion towards your son, who has clearly done something that merits severe punishment (basing that on your reluctance to say what it is for fear of him being judged). Ok it was an error of judgment but it was a kind gesture to try and comfort him.

I would imagine said teacher is regretting her error of judgement now. What good would complaining do exactly? Your son is unlikely to get the same level of compassion next time he misbehaves given his terribly rude response. You complain then no other student will get any either.

[pilates]

🤦‍♀️

[Badgerbadger22]

Your son has deflected your anger at him being badly behaved at school and turned it into you being concerned for him because someone touched his arm.

Bravo young chap! 👏

[HereWeAre20]

And maybe talk to ur son about maybe being polite to decent human beings

[ilovesooty]

I don't buy your reason for the name change quite frankly.
Your child is in the behaviour room. For some reason he is upset
She tries to comfort him. His response then causes her to feel awful. He then comes home with a potential allegation which causes you to consider contacting the school to cause trouble for her.

Charming.