To report this teacher to the school (help!!!)

[hellolovely7]

Actually NC because a lot of school mum's know me on here and I feel so awkward about this situation but

My DS is in secondary school, he can be a bit of an idiot but I'm not on here for an incarceration of his behaviour. Today he was spending time in the behaviour centre and one of the teachers in there touched him. Impossible to get out of him what actually happened as he has clammed up about it now but basically AIBU to report this to the school due to covid? Surely teachers should be 2 metres away and definitely not touching the students????

For context and not to be a drip feed, he basically came home and was like "Miss xxxx" hugged me today. I was like, wtf, and he was like nah she didn't really hug me but she did touch me mum so ive probs got covid now. I asked him exactly what happened but he said i was making a fuss and she was just comforting him due to having a strop but he said he was a bit surprised that she touched him and he apparently told her she would give him COVID and then she apologised.

Do you think this is dealt with and it was just an error of judgement from the teacher or do you think I should be making a bigger deal? I am genuinely torn

[hellolovely7]

Love how people jump to conclusions about the way I don't deal with him and minimise his behaviour. I literally started the post by saying he can be an idiot. His phone is locked away in DH's safe, no contact with his girlfriend now all weekend. We aren't soft touches on him. I was concerned about COVID.

[Ignoringequally]

literally just say, heads up, be careful with covid touching people

Do you genuinely think she needs a ‘heads up’ to be careful with Covid’? It was either an error or judgement, or she decided that the benefits to the student outweighed the risks, but do you think she doesn’t know that she needs to ‘be careful’? The amount of risk assessments and training those teachers will have been through!
Also... how do you think Covid is transmitted? The risk will have been from them being in the same room together and breathing the same air, presumably maskless? Not from the teacher touching his arm.

[lazylinguist]

But OP, your son will be mixing closely with tons of other students every single day, with no social distancing! So why would you be worried about this one teacher? Especially since in most schools teachers can't really socially distance from students either?

[baileys6904]

Do people ever read the bloody thread. THE OP HAS ALREADY AGREED SHE WAS OVER THINKING, SON WAS DISTRACTING AND SHE IS DEALING WITH THE BEHAVIOUR.

What's with people just ignoring that and putting the boot in?

Support not condemn.

And yes I did vote YABU but fair play for acknowledging

[Redbirds]

Your son is manipulating you; which is easily done when you love them so much and want the best for them but you need to be strong and have a united front with the school. He is testing your boundaries so be clear what they are rather than jumping to his defence.

[etopp]

I'm wondering what an incarceration of someone's behaviour might be.

OP, you obviously realise you were BU.

However, it's very striking and disturbing that there are so many threads on MN at the moment which begin with people wondering whether to report one another for non-offences.

[DasPepe]

I had this with a stranger. My child fell off her bike and a stranger run up to help her get up,before I could reach her (and park and secure my bike with a a child seat on the back). You could tell this was an immediate HUMAN reaction, before the thinking kicked in. I could see sudden panic on her face, as she wasn’t sure of my reaction.
I thanked her. I was glad to see that people still have humanity. Your teacher spends time with your child. It’s unlikely he would catch Covid from that one moment specifically. Please don’t over think this and be glad your teacher cares for the kids. Maybe even write her a note to let her know that it was ok - or ask to chat to her if you just want to clear up what exactly happened. Reassure your son and I would focus on the good reasons the teacher did that and minimize his panic over catching Covid. It’s an opportunity not not get his thinking on the wrong track too. Bur that’s just my opinion. And I understand people are worried

[RonaLisa]

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble

I lost many things in this pandemic but I refuse to lose my humanity. If a child is distressed,in need of comfort or just needs a bloody hug(I'm in primary,they're random) then I will offer it. If that causes me to lose my job or have complaints stacked against me then I'm obviously in the wrong job.

Thank God there are still people like you in the teaching profession.

[WestendVBroadway]

OP you are right the teacher should not have risked the spread of Covid, ...........so I hope the teacher goes home and disinfects themself . It is highly unlikely that your child will get Covid because a teacher touched them, because it is probably unlikely that the teacher had Covid themself!

[RonaLisa]

BTW I think an awful lot of parents are doing their children a gross disservice where Covid is concerned. I saw a mother smack her small child's hand off a pedestrian crossing button the other day, shouting: "Don't touch that - you'll get Coronavirus".

[redcarbluecar]

I'm so sick of hearing the word 'report'. If you're worried that the teacher acted inappropriately, why not contact her to see what happened? Or just forget about it.

[noideaatallreally]

In response to some previous posts.

Most children DO behave. Most will put away their phones or hand them in when asked.

No, the OP was not really acknowledging her sons behavior - she was doing exactly when he was doing - deflecting. The fort post was very clearly looking to land the teacher into as much trouble as possible. The tone changes after the vast majority of replies do not support this.

Op - you son is playing you, and is succeeding. Instead of giving one nano second of your time to his frankly ridiculous complaint get to the bottom of why he was sent to behavioral referral. It will not have been done lightly - especially now - schools want students in class, not moving from classroom to a behavioral room.

And I don't believe he was just being lighthearted with the teacher. He will have known exactly what he was doing when he challenged her. I hope she is on MN and is reading all of the posts supporting her. But no doubt she has spent her evening worrying about what he has said and will have a sleepless night, before having to go in tomorrow and get ready for the next ludicrous challenge to her professionalism.

[Piwlyfbicsly]

Yeah, go on, make a fuss about a teacher who is trying to do her best during these hard times, report.
Or wait...maybe try to address your child's challenging behaviour first, cause it's more like the issue you have to be focused on.

[Backtoblack1]

Oh do shut up you stupid woman.

I think you should focus more on what your son is doing to be put in the behaviour unit. Parents like you love to deflect from the poor behaviour of your child.

[OPTIMUMMY]

The approaches that teachers in behaviour units use and those generally in the classroom will be a bit different too and it sounds like he’s not a stranger to the unit OP. I’m sure after what he said she will stay well away from him anyway. I’d also say school is nothing like anywhere else at the moment. Kids and teachers will forget themselves at times because they aren’t expected to be distancing like everyone else.

[2pinkginsplease]

I’m an early years practitioner, we cuddle our children if they need comforting, we are not 2 metres away though we do work in small bubbles .

I think the teacher made an error of judgement in these times however I would prefer a teacher to comfort my child if they were upset!

Some parents are never happy!

[Benjispruce2]

Really?

[TicTacTwo]

You should be thanking her- she calmed your son down before he got angrier and into even bigger trouble than he was in originally. If someone is owed an apology it's the teacher who had to deal with your misbehaving son.

[Benjispruce2]

Breaking news! Impossible to stay 2m apart in school. The classes haven’t magically got bigger, children still need comforting, laces tied, bottles opening.

[Leflic]

The teacher was more likely to get it from your son than pass it to him. I should imagine she’d considered the risk ( more likely realised that working with a load of 14 year olds is doomed in terms of virus control anyway).

[BelleSausage]

@hellolovely7

Your child is rude and badly behaved and you are enabling him. He was in isolation for having his phone out and then being rude to member of staff when refusing to had it over (as I imagine is clearly written in to the behaviour policy of which you and he are both well aware).

Stop deflecting the blame onto an obviously helpful and sympathetic member of staff who was trying to help your son calm down after the incident. The woman was just attempting to help him get back in track and reflect on his choices.

Taking this approach with your child is more damaging than helpful. Where does it stop? College? His first job?

[Lavanderrose]

OP you sound like an absolute nightmare of a parent.

[Enoughnowstop]

Why would that teacher in particular give him covid? You really need to tackle that kind of shite in your child.

We are not 2m away from anyone. There isn’t the space for it.

It sounds like she behaved instinctively. Sad that we can’t do that anymore, isn’t it? Do you think she deserves to be complained about?

[slashlover]

So he went from the teacher hugged me to she didn't actually, she touched me to not wanting to talk about it?

[JuliaJohnston]

Tell him to stop the "stropping" (seriously; a secondary aged child having a fecking strop in class?!)