To report this teacher to the school (help!!!)

[hellolovely7]

Actually NC because a lot of school mum's know me on here and I feel so awkward about this situation but

My DS is in secondary school, he can be a bit of an idiot but I'm not on here for an incarceration of his behaviour. Today he was spending time in the behaviour centre and one of the teachers in there touched him. Impossible to get out of him what actually happened as he has clammed up about it now but basically AIBU to report this to the school due to covid? Surely teachers should be 2 metres away and definitely not touching the students????

For context and not to be a drip feed, he basically came home and was like "Miss xxxx" hugged me today. I was like, wtf, and he was like nah she didn't really hug me but she did touch me mum so ive probs got covid now. I asked him exactly what happened but he said i was making a fuss and she was just comforting him due to having a strop but he said he was a bit surprised that she touched him and he apparently told her she would give him COVID and then she apologised.

Do you think this is dealt with and it was just an error of judgement from the teacher or do you think I should be making a bigger deal? I am genuinely torn

[likeafishneedsabike]

Reverse. Teacher writing it to show how utterly insane parents can be.

[Nowhereelsetogo90]

Teacher here. 2m rule is laughable in my setting, there is simply not enough room for it to happen. Yes, we try, but impossible is impossible! Also, yes, I’ve “touched” children during these times with a comforting arm across their shoulder or a quick hug etc. when asked for one. This kind of attitude from a parent could lead to children not being comforted when in acute distress as the adult will be too afraid of getting complained about. I have a DSD at primary school and would be so sad to think a teacher would avoid comforting her lest we complain about them. 100% agree with PP - your son has succeeded in distracting you from the important issue.

[EvieBoo2]

You ought to see our nursery setting. Yes we do our best and follow the guidance, wash their hands all day and constantly wipe down surfaces and so on. But then the children come up and hug us, sit themselves down on our laps, wipe bogies on us, etc etc. You'd have a fit if your child was in our nursery! But we are honestly doing our best and I would imagine your son's teacher is too. She did apologise so that suggests that it was just a slip up and she doesn't usually go round hugging everyone.

[DailyCandy]

What does ‘incarceration of his behaviour’ even mean? More schooling required all round.

[Rosebel]

I wouldn't be thrilled if a teacher hugged my daughter, especially now but even in normal times.
However if you are certain it was just to comfort him I'd leave it. If it was a regular thing then it would be different. In this case as a one off sounds like she was just being kind. Hopefully neither of them will get Covid.
And 2 metres apart, I doubt it!

[TitianaTitsling]

@likeafishneedsabike

Reverse. Teacher writing it to show how utterly insane parents can be.

God l hope so, would be ridiculous if this level of batshittery existed!

[wasgoingmadinthecountry]

I rubbed a child's arm for a couple of seconds - she was utterly distraught and in floods of tears. And 8.

I hate being breathed on/prodded right now as an over 55 overweight asthmatic,and no longer feel able to go in to my 92yo dad's house due to my job and the children I see on a daily basis but a distraught child sometimes needs comforting.

We're trying our best.

[Devillishlypicklypickles]

Both of my children have been touched by their teachers today, my son had an icepack applied to a bump on his head and my daughter had her fingers cleaned and plasters put on after they got trapped in a door, it never entered my head to kick up a fuss about it! I'm glad they weren't just left to tend to their own injuries.

[popcornlover]

I think she was trying to help your son. Possibly an accidental reflex. At the start of lockdown in April, I can remember a lady who works in the supermarket touched me: she put her hand on my back as I was speaking to her (I was reporting a customer accident). She was just being kind, and clearly an unavoidable reflex - she was just trying to hear what I was saying.

Also, I saw loads of parents and kids in the park today, right after school, all mingling side by side without a care in the world for covid! I think it’s hard to enforce this in teachers if children and parents are not complying.

[essexmum777]

Why on earth he is taking his phone to school and kicking off at the teachers when being asked to hand it over, the problem here isn't the teacher OP.

[hellolovely7]

As much as I appreciate everyones comments I do feel that comforting a really upset child, or a small child in nursery/early years is quite different to comforting a 14 year old boy by touch because he has had his mobile phone confiscated.

I would argue the reasons for hugging/comforting an upset small child would be much more understandable during covid, than IMO the unnecessary touching of my son.

Normally I wouldn't really bat at eyelid, whatever go for it cheer him up put your arm round him if you want, but during COVID I personally feel her doing this was unncessary and inappropriate. That's why I questioned it. Surely they have covid precautions running through their heads all the time. However I have already said I accept she probably just didn't think and that's why I am not reporting.

I notice everyone is still commenting on what a bad parent i am and no one commented on the boundaries i have put in place for him, which are quite clearly there

[Sewrainbow]

Thought you were going to say touching inappropriately!

Dont report her it could have been just a slip of the mind trying to comfort a distressed pupil, yabu if you did.

[essexmum777]

But the boundaries aren't their OP!!! Jesus - your son is totally in the wrong here and you are questioning the teacher on their actions - seriously?

[MarriedtoDaveGrohl]

And you believe him? When will you learn? He lies. You css as my see why he would make it up? Because he's a child who is badly behaved. They lie. All. The. Time,

If you don't like it take him out of the school. I guarantee the teachers will break out the fizz.

[savethewales]

@hellolovely7

Also because people seem to be jumping to huge assumptions that my child is a little shit, he was in isolation for refusing to hand his phone over. I wasn't going to mention it because to be honest I didn't think it was relevant and I knew we would get into a pointless debate, but people seem to be assuming he is this awful child who is horrible and always in the behaviour centre etc. And I THINK he had a strop over the fucking phone, which is clearly ridiculous so I didn't feel she needed to hug him, and especially not during covid.

And that's all I think I am going to say, but just wanted to clear that up

You’re right, it’s totally ridiculous and that’s your place to teach him that, not hers. She’s trying to make the best of a bad situation.

[VillageGreenTree]

Yep. Let's just kick the teachers whilst they are down...

[WitchFindersAreEverywhere]

I’m amazed there wasn’t another adult in the room who could back up his story.
Teachers are warned not to be alone with a child precisely because of the dangers of situations like this, and allegations made that could be career-ending.
He’s a teenager in trouble in the behaviour centre, surely it wasn’t staffed by one lone female teacher. It’s a safeguarding issue for her.

[WitchFindersAreEverywhere]

How often has he been in detention in the last 12 months?

[Pippa12]

Your not a bad parent. We’ve all got heightened awareness due to the current situation and our first reaction is often exaggerated. I’m glad you’ve decided to leave it. for having a teenage boy, they all test our patience... especially about their bloody phones! Forget the negativity of this thread and plod on, tough times for us all.

[LucilleBluth]

Oh Op, never worked in a school or with young people eh! Being a teacher in a SEMH school and the owner of two teenage boys I can assure you that teenagers of both genders need nurturing and touch is a big part of that.

Teenagers with autism can be reassured and calmed by firm touch. An arms around the shoulders side ways hug can work wonders for a distressed child or young person.

Btw there’s zero social distancing going on in schools.

[JKRowlingforever]

It would be horrible to report this teacher. Way beyond unreasonable

[OwlinaTree]

I despair, I really do. Talk about not being able to do right for doing wrong. Poor teacher how dare she try to help a pupil?

[Porridgeoat]

Omg she comforted him, then apologised for being too close for Covid. She sounds big hearted and thoughtful. What do you want her to apologise for?

[QualityFeet]

Covid precautions are non existent. Teachers barrel through crowds, squeeze past desks and the demands of teaching giant classes, running around the school and doing a cover in every free takes up enough brain space.

If your teen can’t cope with rules at his age and tantrums when his phone is taken then in that moment he needs comfort just as much as a younger child.

He will she’s been touched and breathed over by numerous peers - I don’t think the teacher increase his risk