To have failed to prevent DC entering someone else's house uninvited?

[LavenderWashes]

DS is almost 3, ASD suspected. He doesn't really respond to his name, let alone a simple sentence such as 'come here please' or 'get your shoes'.

I was locking the front door when he dashed to a neighbours house! I think he was attracted to the door because it's red and my mum's similar house door holds a swimming pool behind

I was a bit annoyed with myself as I ran to collect him from the door, but before I could get there in time the woman shouted ''I'M SELF ISOLATING FOR FUCK SAKE''.

I was mortified, but my brain got stuck. I didn't know if to run after DS into the house or hope and pray he would respond to my pleas for him to come here.

He did on the second desperate attempt, follow my request and came to the door, when I grabbed him. I said '' I'm so so sorry!'' and left.

AIBU to have not prevented this? Am I right in thinking it wasn't really my fault :( He's never tried that sort of thing before.

Told my Mum who said to put a note through the door and apologise that way, so she can digest my words calmy

Oh dear. It sounds like you were both in a state of panic, in a very unexpected situation.

Have you thought of reins?

A note sounds a good idea. Was neighbours door open so he went inside? Reigns or a leash backpack if he bolts. Whilst no ideal he ran to neighbours it could have been a lot more serious if he ran into road.

How was it not your fault? Your child is your responsibility. Normally I'd say no big deal but in these times you need to do more than you would with a child who does come when called. It seems you should have thought about the potential for this to happen. I don't want to sound harsh. But I do think you need to put measures in place so things like this don't happen rather than just saying it's how he is therefore inevitable.

Accidents happen. You can't prevent everything. Now you know he has the potential to bolt I would get reins though.

What if he’d of dashed into the road?
I think reins or leash back back as suggested above would be safer than him disappearing off

I was going to suggest reins or perhaps those toddler wrists straps that can clip to you or a back pack. Just for his own safety. He could dart into the road for example.

It is a worry that can't follow simple commands. I hope you're able to pursue a diagnosis, it's a difficult battle usually.

I'd say don't leave the note, unless you know the neighbour. You could if you'd make you feel better? That's done now and there's not much point torturing yourself going over it though.

I just don't know what to do. He refuses to walk if I put reins on (doesn't like walking anyway). He also throws himself back dangerously and has injured himself before if I've reasoned 'Ahh he won't let himself get hurt by being so silly!'

We still have the pram but I want to get him walking some of the time since we're in the car so much

Reins. I'm not surprised the other person reacted like that.

But also because a 3 year old with ASD is a tough gig xxx

A note through the door to apologise to your neighbour would be a good idea, perhaps also offering to help e.g. by buying food for her

Bigger picture, your child run away from you.. Another time, he could run onto the road. Reins would probably be helpful

As much as I think its bloody hilarious and wouldn't have had a mad bone in my body had someone toddler come running into my house. You need reins. I cant tell you how my dog would respond to anyone running into the house and I know she loves and is gentle with children. There are many dangers in people houses and all over. You need to keep him safe.

It sounds like you need to pursue a diagnosis and get some help with these things. Sorry I think I came across as more harsh than intended in pp. I think if you are at a point where you can't kepp him safe (and potentially others due to covid) then I get why you are at the end of you tether and need to put things in place to enable him to be safe. It does sound like this is more difficult though.

Was her front door open ?

It’s just one of those things. You didn’t expect it to happen. I wouldn’t worry about it personally and just grab his hand when locking the door up

It is really difficult but he's 2. You need to make sure he's safe. Next time it may be the road he runs in to.

Perhaps one of those toddler bikes which has the choice of you pushing it or him pedalling would be a compromise if you want him to get some outside exercise but he won't walk? They have harnesses on them too! Perhaps he could be persuaded to walk and push it sometimes.

There's nowhere dangerous just outside the house unless you count other houses. No road to get him etc. So it seemed a very safe place not to have had him trapped into a pram etc.

It's bad enough that I can't wear a face mask in shops because of DC Lots of questions from people in the last few days, but ironically never questioned before that at all

Sorry to say but you need a better strategy...what if he runs into the road? When my DC were that age, I'd hold them whilst locking up or have them stand in front of me...the sn are irrelevant right now in terms of this situation. He's two, they're unpredictable at that age.

Accidents happen but be thankful it was a house and not a car. Use reins from now on if not secured in the pushchair. We used them until at least 5

How did he get into the house?

former he's not 2, he's very nearly 3. I didn't have a better strategy at that moment because there are no roads nearby within easy reach. Just a few houses

I never dreamed he'd just open the door

Asd here too, unpredictability is one of the first signs we saw (other than lack of speech)

As it’s the first time it’s one of those things that you need to use as a learning curve so it can’t happen again.

former he's not 2, he's very nearly 3

I promise you, he's two.

That's so hard for you

A card/note through the door apologising.

If your child won't wear reins then you've got to find some way of stopping him exploring inappropriately.

I suppose you'll just have to be hyper vigilant and hold his hand all the time until hes inside and the door is locked/shut

Opening the door to someone else's house and walking in , is really not on - but getting that through to him will be difficult

If he's nearly 3 he's definitely 2 Anyway that's a moot point as is the lack of roads near your house. As a pp has pointed out, any house could contain a dog that will not react pleasantly to a stranger walking in.

I'm afraid you need to put reins on him despite his protests.

moving I think the very first sign was not answering his name and no eye contact. He also has 0 words, age almost 3. But spoke a few words before his 1st birthday. Then nothing.

He almost is diagnosed now... But they can't put it in writing until the paediatric team see him in person. Speech and language etc have done extensive reports so they've gone off of that