To have failed to prevent DC entering someone else's house uninvited?

[LavenderWashes]

DS is almost 3, ASD suspected. He doesn't really respond to his name, let alone a simple sentence such as 'come here please' or 'get your shoes'.

I was locking the front door when he dashed to a neighbours house! I think he was attracted to the door because it's red and my mum's similar house door holds a swimming pool behind

I was a bit annoyed with myself as I ran to collect him from the door, but before I could get there in time the woman shouted ''I'M SELF ISOLATING FOR FUCK SAKE''.

I was mortified, but my brain got stuck. I didn't know if to run after DS into the house or hope and pray he would respond to my pleas for him to come here.

He did on the second desperate attempt, follow my request and came to the door, when I grabbed him. I said '' I'm so so sorry!'' and left.

AIBU to have not prevented this? Am I right in thinking it wasn't really my fault :( He's never tried that sort of thing before.

Told my Mum who said to put a note through the door and apologise that way, so she can digest my words calmy

Also try single words .. so instructions are more like labels instead of out your shoes on. Just say shoes whilst putting his shoe on. Then same when you do your shoes. You speak to their level of speech.

It sounds tough OP I seriously wouldn't worry about the door, total fluke.

@HollowTalk

OP, I think you should post in the Special Needs section - as you can see here, some of the responses in AIBU can be very cruel.

I know. I’m shocked by some of these pompous replies. Clearly they have not a clue about living minute by minute with an SEN child. Not a clue.

OP - you are amazing. I know what a struggle it would have been for you to get this far along the diagnosis path and how exhausting every day must be. How you probably grieve for the loss of that perfect child you’d imagined you were going to have. I do hope none of your neighbours/ contacts are like some of these posters. I hope you experience kindness.

I think the note through the neighbour’s door is great and will make you feel better. Now go to the SEN board and be with people who will understand, and help, not judge and criticise

Yikes op. My severely asd 10yr old legged it into our neighbours house when our backs were turned, unpacking our car. It happens, its fine. She probably had a shock. And he was diagnosed around 3 months before his 3rd birthday

OP - children dash off all the time, it's a very difficult age, please don't beat yourself up! I lost my child on the beach once because I took my eyes off her for a minute, I feared she had drowned in the sea until I found her. Despite the nasty comments I'm sure most parents on this thread have had their moments.

Once I had a knock on the door to my flat and a 1.5 year old baby marched in, she had left a big family occasion in a neighbouring flat and no one had realised.

Perhaps your neighbour will reach out to you and apologise for screaming obscenities at a baby. Your only concern needs to be about safeguarding your child so he doesn't do it again and harm himself, forget the neighbour.

You sound like you having a rough time agree with everyone a letter would smooth things over. As for you little boy would a strap clip to a loop on his trousers work? Would be as strong as a harness but if he wouldn't tolerate something touching him it might give you a few vital seconds to get a hold of him.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself. Even the most biddable of children can and will throw curve balls like this. My toddler chased someone out of a supermarket before my very eyes, as she thought it was me. It’s certainly rattling when these things happen, but you’ve committed no cardinal sin! Keep doing your best ❤️

People’s keenness to apportion blame to either OP or the woman is baffling. This really is just one of those things that’s absolutely no one’s fault. Be kind to yourself, OP

he's not 2, he's very nearly 3

By far the best thing typed on this thread.

My 2 year once ran out of the library, automatic doors obviously I had her put in care as due to unfitness to parent 😂

@Alwaysinpain. Those car seats are not recommend as they didn’t do well in crash testing with the impact cushion. I would look into it if I was you. @LavenderWashes it’s not a rear facing car seat but I can recommend a be safe belt collector for your car seat, it is crash tested and very difficult to get out of. Please don’t add anything to your car seat that isn’t tested though as I see people giving that advise!🙂