Boys using the girls toilets.

[tarasharp]

Hi I’d just like people’s opinions on whether they think this is wrong. My granddaughter who’s 15 was upset yesterday because of the new system at school whereby the toilets are mixed. Apparently because of the way they’re all split into groups it’s the only way they can all use a toilet closer to them. My dgd knew of the changes during the holidays and worried about it, she knew the boys would cause problems, which they have.

The problem yesterday was the fact. that a group of boys were upsetting the girls by banging on the doors, shouting rude comments, and basically loitering doing their best to cause mayhem. My dgd suffers from very heavy periods and hated the fact that boys were immediately outside her cubicle whilst she sorted herself out.

My dd phoned the school to complain because there was supposed to be an undertaking that these toilets were monitored during break time and they weren’t. Do you all think this is wrong, and if so, is there any solution? Thanks in advance.

Is this not illegal?

I have worked in places with mixed toilets, and my experience at high it,ll just as likely be girls annoying other girls by loitering, banging on the doors, bullying.

I’d be complaining!!!

by law you are supposed to have some sex segregated toilets

If they are supposed to be supervised then they need to fucking supervise them

Generally speaking girls behave just as badly as boys in toilets, and often worse. Maybe speak to the school and ask them to station a member of staff in there at all times, or at least outside and ensure that girls and boys go in at different times.

Not sure if the law on this has been suspended during Covid, but I would be writing to the head and chair of governors reminding them of girls’ need for privacy, the risks of UTIs when girls avoid using the loo during the day and likely higher absence rates as girls stay off during their heavy days.

This is not acceptable at all, I know for a fact my daughter would just not use the toilet all day under these circumstances. What are they thinking.

When my dd phoned up she was told in a very condescending manner that the toilets ARE separate. Dd said “the cubicles are that’s all”” Teacher said “well they’re separate then aren’t they, there’s no gap at the floor or above so they’re separate”. I mean what kind of logic is that?

My dgd told me she was bursting for a wee but held it in.

Legally, if they are mixed, they have to be in separate rooms, not cubicles.

Complain to the board of governors and quote the relevant legislation at them: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/410294/Adviceeonstandardssforschooll_premises.pdf

Why on these threads are there always posters who come on and say ‘oh but women are worse’ as a way of denying someone’s reality of poor behaviour by men in toilets. The OP has been very clear this was boys.

I agree about going to the governors, especially given the response when contacting the school.

There will be girls refusing to go to schools on their periods. Yes, girls can be vile. But boys can be a lot worse.

If the children are misbehaving then an adult needs to supervise.
Speak to the head, the governors and also complain to the school nurse.

Yes it was the boys in this case but may be girls next time.

Yes she’s never had a problem with girls, especially regarding periods. But the boys, because it’s a new thing for them are taking advantage. My poor dgd suffers so bad with periods, she’s got to go for a scan today. I just think, how can this be right.

@WorkingItOutAsIGo

Why on these threads are there always posters who come on and say ‘oh but women are worse’ as a way of denying someone’s reality of poor behaviour by men in toilets. The OP has been very clear this was boys.

because NAMALT do not forget my dear the penis comes first always center the penis their wants and needs are more important

You drink that kool aid and think about what you have done

No because some of us have experience bullying in girls toilets at high school/ Some of us used to hang around them at breaks at muck about in them?

@WorkingItOutAsIGo

Why on these threads are there always posters who come on and say ‘oh but women are worse’ as a way of denying someone’s reality of poor behaviour by men in toilets. The OP has been very clear this was boys.

I agree. Why can't they just look at the issue in the OP, (which is not a nice situation to find yourself in as a young girl), and respond to that?

The school needs to have the toilets supervised at all times if they've changed the normal ones to mixed without the usual planning - 15 year old boys can be absolute a-holes. They definitely needs supervising around the girls in loos.

Agreed @slipperywhensparticus, don't let on that males might be the issue here, therefore it must be fine to share loos!

YANBU @tarasharp the feminist board has lots of intelligent women who can give advice on the legalities of mixed sex toilets. I would be raising merry hell as well.

Your DD should contact the local authority responsible for this school too. I would expect it to be a safeguarding issue. The absence of supervision that was promised by school (I expect as part of their risk assessment) means safeguarding is not in place.

@june2007

No because some of us have experience bullying in girls toilets at high school/ Some of us used to hang around them at breaks at muck about in them?

Don't hijack this thread to make it about you when you were a girl. Start your own thread.

Your experience from some years ago ( which was wrong of course) does not make it right, nor justifiable, that this 15 year old is humiliated by boys this week.

June2007, yes I know that you have experience of girls behaving badly in the loos - but what has that got to do with this case which is boys behaving badly? Do you think that boys should be allowed to behave badly because some girls do? Do you dislike people criticising boys’ behaviour? I am trying to understand the thinking behind mentioning it on this thread?

It’s only a toilet. If you can’t be seen while in the cubicle, I don’t see the problem?