To feel 65 to 70 is too young to pass away

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve recently lost my father at the age of 70. I feel he was young to pass away but I’ve been told by others I should have been expecting it any time due to his age. My dad lost his mum at 65 so i suppose it could be genetic.

You are right it is very young- I would expect 80 onwards but it very much depends on the person. 70 is no time from retirement!

Agree. DDad died at 69. However...it’s not a tragedy in the way that DCousin’s husband dying before 40 (leaving primary aged DCs) was.

I too feel it is young. I lost both my parents when they were mid 80s which seems a more usual age maybe ? However if younger deaths have been known in a family that might change things.
I’m really sorry about your dad op. It’s incredibly tough to deal with. Support.

It is young. I’m sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry.

People say a lot of dumb shit in response to bereavement.

I would consider 70 to be young, and certainly too young to have been "expecting" it unless he had received a terminal diagnosis. I would be shocked to lose someone who was only 70.

And even so, losing a parent when you are expecting it is still a huge shock to the system, so I'm not sure what comfort people think it would bring you if you had expected it.

The average life expectancy for men is 80, in the U.K., so whoever is telling you that you should have been expecting it are unsupportive ass holes. In saying that, there is never a right age, because the people left behind will still be grieving for their loved one. I’m so sorry for your lose.

It’s not tragic but it’s a bit younger than average. If the average person dies in their mid to late 80s then I guess an average window might be early seventies - mid nineties?

It is young these days. My DPs are early 70s and both still leading full and active lives. I'm
Sorry for your loss

I think it's all relative. My Mum passed at 72 after 20 years of complex health issues. It felt like she had a good innings, all things considered. My friend's Dad passed at 73 and was still living a full, active life until his final 2 weeks - it definitely feels he was taken too soon.

OP, remember that shock and disbelief are fairly normal stages of grief. Your feelings are normal and totally understandable. Be gentle on yourself

People are stupid when it comes to bereavement, I don’t think they know what to say, so just say the first thing they think of.

My dad died at 65, and that certainly wasn’t old enough.

It's too young. I'm 65 and don't even feel old yet, it's much too young to die although illnesses like cancer can obviously affect any age.

So sorry for your loss. My lovely mum died suddenly this year, she too was 70 and it has been devastating. I never considered for a minute I'd lose her any time soon.

My dad died when he was 71 and it definitely felt too soon. He did have some health conditions but they were all managed well until the last few weeks of his life. He was still working pretty much full time.

I'm sorry about your dad OP, it's very hard.

Yes it is young, my Father died at 51 (his only brother at 59) my Mum at 69. All suddenly, the shock and devastation was and is long lasting.

My dad was 54, way too young. My mum is currently 71 though and I still feel she is a long long way from the end, perfectly fit and healthy, despite the fact we lost dad so young. My grandma is 94, over twenty years ahead of mum, so granted you could say it is expected at that age. But not 70-ish!

My dad was 74 when he died in 2005, and it was quite unexpected and I did feel that it was before his time. My mom died last year aged 87 and although it broke my heart, I had to acknowledge that she had lived a good long life. Sorry for your loss

It is certainly younger than the U.K. average. My dparents died at 58(ddad) and 63 (dmum). I felt they should have had longer. My dsis died this year at 60. I think genetics have a big say in it unfortunately.
Sorry for your loss.

My mum was 67 and I wasn't ready for it at all. My in-laws are both in their 80s and have been preparing to die for the last 20 years (there's no point getting a new whatever because we might not be around for much longer.. Etc) and I find it a bit wearing.
Sorry for your loss OP. It's a terrible time

I'd be shocked to lose anyone under 75 if they were in what seemed to be good health. A relative was only 60 when she died suddenly, she had been a teenage mother and wife, widowed at only 40, and still working full time, so she never got a break really .

It is young in my opinion. My only relatives who passed away before 80 were all smokers and had smoking-related cancers.

Of course it's young. My DM was killed in a car accident at 69. My DF died after a chronic illness at 54. Yet PIL rattle on and on in their 80's, appreciating nothing. I feel very bitter at times.
Life can be unfair.

My dad was 69 when he died which did feel too young but not tragically so. The men in my family don’t tend to make it to old age so it was kinda expected but still horribly sad.

People say dumb things at times like this.

It is young nowadays. We’ve just lost a family member at 72, her mum died 2 years ago at 95. Life just isn’t fair sometimes.

It is young, yes. My dad died two years ago aged 71. My FIL died six years ago aged only 63.

Sorry for your loss op, 70 does seem very young all my grandparents were in late 80’s/90’s when they passed, my sons also have a great grandparent on their dads side is is almost 100. So yes it seems young, my mum is 67 step dad 73 so o really hope they’ve got lots more time but I guess you just never know!!