To feel 65 to 70 is too young to pass away

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve recently lost my father at the age of 70. I feel he was young to pass away but I’ve been told by others I should have been expecting it any time due to his age. My dad lost his mum at 65 so i suppose it could be genetic.

Both my parents had passed away by the time I was 30. Being an only child, with my only other relative an unmarried uncle, it was a bit lonely.

I'm sorry for your loss.

It's not especially young but I certainly wouldn't be "expecting it" at that age. Life expectancy for men in the UK is 79, so it's a bit younger than average.

I'm really sorry for your loss, OP.

It’s young for men born more recently, but for those born in 1950 the life expectancy is 67yrs

In the past, ‘three score and ten’, ie 70 was average. However, nowadays, 70 is young.

Just to add I don’t think people who say “they had a good innings” etc, are being dicks. It’s a combination of not knowing what to say and probably life experience. A colleague of mine crumbled last year when her gran died- I’m not going to lie it’s alien to me as a family who suffered a lot of young loss, it’s sad for the person but the woman in question saw her great grandchildren. I consider that amazing and lucky. But that’s not to say the family aren’t entitled to be personally devastated or their grief is less valid.

Far too young, my dear dear dear dad is 88, no longer recognises us as he has Alzheimer’s. He has had a good life, but he is wearing mum, age 84 but in reasonable health, into the ground. He doesn't have much quality of life. There’s a cut off in my opinion, and not related necessarily to age but to quality of life.

I’m sorry for your loss. My lovely dad was still climbing ladders at 80. I’m glad he has had a long life, his own fathers life was cut short at a similar age to the OPs dad, but equally I am very aware of the unfairness of life.

Sorry for your loss too OP. My mother died at 55. So it’s hard to be young yourself and lose a parent.

Way too young. My mother (68) passed away at the end of March having been diagnosed with multiple brain tumours 15 days previously. She was so active. I still can’t believe it.

It is pretty ‘young’ these days. It’s not tragic but yes it’s quite young to die. 65 is young to die yes.

It's much much too young, two of my best friends passed away at 71 and 72 one after the other, a married couple. They were really fit and well, always out and about and doing exciting things. He suddenly passed from aggressive skin cancer he didn't know he had and his wife passed around 6 months later from a massive stroke, it seemed beyond cruel.
Sorry for your loss OP.

It is too young to be expected just for reasons of age. I am very sorry for your loss OP, I think those who have told you that you should have been expecting it at that age are factually wrong and misinformed, and also very unsupportive in a time of immense grief. Fuck them, frankly.

Everyone who has had loss just want to give you virtual support. My parents died over the last couple of years. Good ages. Really devastating. One out of the blue. It’s really really tough. If felt to be young then tougher in another way too. Support all.

I’m sorry for your loss. It’s very insensitive of whoever said that. It might have been considered old in the past but I don’t think it is these days. My Dad is early 70s but very fit and healthy, still working and nobody ever thinks he is early 70s. Two of my uncles died at the age he is now but even so I certainly wouldn’t be expecting it as he is so healthy.

I don’t think it matters what age a parent dies. I don’t think it’s something you can truly prepare for.

It’s young for men born more recently, but for those born in 1950 the life expectancy is 67yrs

I think you mean that 67 years was their life expectancy at birth. Obviously it is not the current life expectancy of a man born in 1950!

I'm sorry for your loss. The life expectancy in the UK of a man who has reached 70 is another 15 years so pensioners should expect to reach 85. It is sad that many do die young but this is the average.

Our lovely Dad died at 67, that was years ago am still not over it. It was cancer and dead within six months. Awful, as I am sure many others have experienced the same.

Mum died at 85 and although I miss her lots, it was her time to go. Bless them both.

My Dad died at 98, Mum was 85. I’m in my late 60s and there is still so much I want to do and see. 70 sounds far too young to go.

70 is not that old these days as the average life expectancy is 81. However, plenty of people die younger than 81 and 70 is the age group where people do start to die of heart disease, cancers, etc.

I know what you mean, my husband died at 70 which is not considered to be very old nowadays but he did have chronic health problems; a pulmonary embolism was the last straw. On the other hand there are plenty of people who die earlier so 70 is not that bad.

I'm so sorry about your dad.

My dad died very suddenly of a stroke. I was sobbing outside when a neighbour came over and said 'we can't expect our parents to be around forever'. He was 46 and I was 22

My parents died at 52 and 56....4 months apart...i was 26 years old....im now 46 and most of my friends still have both parents alive...its really hard not to be bitter.

@myusernamewastakenbyme I totally feel your pain, mine died at 54 and 60, within two years of each other, they had both gone by the time I was 30. I can’t remember what it feels like to have parents, I struggle with this quite a lot.

It's young-ish, but both my parents died in their early 50s. If I make it to 60 I'll be thrilled.

I think its young, if they weren't already poorly. My dm is 70, df 71, they're both way too young to go just yet. Both in good health though.

@thedaywewillremeber

I’ve recently lost my father at the age of 70. I feel he was young to pass away but I’ve been told by others I should have been expecting it any time due to his age. My dad lost his mum at 65 so i suppose it could be genetic.

I'm so very sorry. My dad passed away at the start of the year and he was 75. I think that is too young.

He was my hero and Ill never be the same.