To feel 65 to 70 is too young to pass away

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve recently lost my father at the age of 70. I feel he was young to pass away but I’ve been told by others I should have been expecting it any time due to his age. My dad lost his mum at 65 so i suppose it could be genetic.

My mum died when she was 72. She was fit, active, and did loads in her community.

Too fucking soon.

Dying at 70 is young to die and but it’s not a tragedy age. 70 year olds very from still working travelling doing childcare and living their best life to being much more elderly and reliant on others. My dad is 71, still up and out by 6am, retired but busy full time with committees, voluntary work and consultancy. That’s before he has been playing bridge, picking up grandchildren, hiking and travelling. I Wouos hope that he has a good 10 -15 years left in him

My dad died at 65 and my FIL at 70. Absolutely both far too young

Sorry for your loss OP ,My nana& grandad both passed away at 64&65 just 6 months apart,I feel they was both taken away far to soon and would only now be in there early 70s had they still been with us, 70 is young to me,my partner's nana is in her 80s and still drives and goes to church

70 is not considered a full age. When I had to give a family health history, I commented on my father's death at 71 as being not too bad an age. He had an impoverished upbringing and worked for half his work life in a dangerous occupation. He was born just after the IWW.

Not at all was the response. Still considered untimely.

I think it's young as it's not far out of retirement, and these days with people being older when they have kids, many 70 year olds are only just becoming grandparents.
However, I do fear getting old and being a burden. Losing my dignity. One of my uncles died in his sleep very unexpectedly at 75. That was hard for the people left behind, but perhaps better for him.

Three months after this thread started, my DP died at 60. That was definitely too young, and he seemed pretty fit and was active.

I think 70 is young. People now in their 60s won't get their pensions till they're 66 or more.

My mum died at 60 and two of her 3 siblings died at 55 and 65. Their parents, my grandparents, lived well into their 80's and my great grandparents until their late 90's. Not sure why the strong genes didn't seem to pass down. I am nearly 52 and have already had breast cancer. However, I have a 10 year old son so I do worry a bit. My brother died at 47 (sepsis). However our Dad is 82 and in amazing physical health despite dementia and indeed looks years younger. I would say 70 is fairly young to die these days. Having lost my mum when I was only 32, I really do hope that my kids have me around for a good while yet!

65 - 70 is young imo but I think in the West, we're too expectant of living to 85ish. Another day is never guaranteed. I learned this the hard way when some close family died very young.

Loss is hard anyway so I wouldn't get wrapped up in whether other people think the person passed away early or not. Why does their opinion matter?

My grandparents all lived to late 80s (men) and late 90s, my great grandparents who made it too old age if they survived wars/Spanish flu etc also lived to 90s . It was a bit of a shock when my mum died at 74, only 4 years after her mother when she was extremely fit and active. She was the parent of mine and DHs that was least likely to die ! We were expecting any or all of the others to go first...

I work in health care though and am always very aware none of us know what lies round the corner..

I think its young. My DM is 69 and if she died I would very much feel like she was young.

My ddad went at 62.
That was before his time. He never got to retire which still upsets me

Yes, it is young. My mom died two weeks shy of her 69th bday and my dad died at 73. I think that is really young. I mean, they were not even properly old yet. Where I live many people live to be 90, even older and when I see them on the street walking, I feel so sad that my parents died so early.

I can totally sympathise! My aunt died very suddenly recently, early 70s but very young in outlook, definitely not what I would call elderly. The first thing people ask me was if she was "old" and when I tell them her age it's like oh well, that's OK then. It's not, it still hurts like hell and we expected her to be with us for longer. I think she went too soon.

Of course it's too young, but it's what it is. My DC are currently facing losing their dad in his 50s

According to my dad, statistically, if you survive your 50s you "should" live to mid-late 80s.

@littlepattilou 70 is not elderly!
My df is 90, thats elderly.
I'm 63, I.I'm hoping for at least 20 more years of life.

[quote Melitza]@littlepattilou 70 is not elderly!
My df is 90, thats elderly.
I'm 63, I.I'm hoping for at least 20 more years of life.[/quote]
I knew someone would come on here and say that. (That 70 is not elderly!)

Yes, 70 IS elderly.

I know some people don't like to admit it, especially when they are not too many years off 70 themselves.

But at 70 years old, a person absolutely IS classed as elderly.

Just google it, and every website you will look at, will classify the age of 70, as 'elderly.'

I think it's quite sad, and actually borderline offensive to not accept it and admit it. Some people act like there is something bad about being elderly, or something wrong with it. What's so bad about it?

Why are people so offended by people over 70 being called elderly? It's what they are...

By the way, your DF at 90 is classed as geriatric. And there is nothing wrong with that either.

@echt, the doctor was being kind. 71 for a man born pre NHS, modern knowledge of disease and vaccinations, is a good age. It's especially good if they've been lower/working class.

70 is elderly, most men are on at least statins and blood pressure medication. Without which they've have died of heart attack/stroke. Likewise women's health has improved so we aren't bent over and skruken, as I can remember old ladies being when I was a child late in the 1960's/early 70's. A lot of Dad's started to die in our secondary school from heart attacks. My dad died at 69, it didn't seem 'young' for a WC merchant navy/dock worker.

Age of death is connected to income and class. It used to be the nature of your work that shortened your life, now it's other factors. That's why WC men never bothered with pensions. Modern medicine is keeps us going past the natural age of death. Of course some people are genetically predisposed to live longer, but that doesn't mean that that age is obtainable for everyone.

I know many people who have died younger than that, I no longer think of a ‘typical’ age to die.

I can remember when the Covid deaths were people in their 70/80/90's and thinking that no-one cares that age isn't obtainable for a lot of Scottish men.

I agree it’s young and no matter the age I’d never spite trite words like that. I lost my mum and best friend when she’d recently turned 60 and the amount of “at least she’s at peace now” etc I got due to the fact she’d suffered a long illness. No matter what people say it’s wrong so I stick with “I’m so sorry for your loss.” Words are just words. It will never be the right time.

@littlepattilou Yes, 70 is elderly. I consider 60+ elderly. Still doesn't mean dying at 70 is too young in the modern age. If you look up life expectancy by country, the only nations where 70 and below is the average life expectancy are nations living in poverty. It's certainly untimely to pass at that age, and if you think it's normal, you need to take better care of yourself.

I'm sorry for your loss. Yes, by today's standards that is a young age. But, when it is the loss of a parent it's devastating at any age, so trying to console someone like that is very crass even if they'd lived longer than average