To feel 65 to 70 is too young to pass away

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve recently lost my father at the age of 70. I feel he was young to pass away but I’ve been told by others I should have been expecting it any time due to his age. My dad lost his mum at 65 so i suppose it could be genetic.

It's young, but on the other hand, I would prefer that for my parents than twenty years of terrible health and then dying in their 90s.
Obviously, being in good health in their 70s would be even better!

I'm sorry for your loss, OP. Average life expectancy is 79 for men in the UK. So you're right, 70 is an early age to die. I feel very much for you because my parents died quite young too, after working hard all their lives, and I still feel grief about losing them.

Mum was 72 and it felt too soon but her descent was rapid after a fall into vascular dementia - it definitely triggered it. Dad is 73 and failing and we expect something to happen soon although not sure when - he was given a terminal diagnosis that ended around 12 months ago, so it really is any time.

MIL is 89 and starting to fail a bit in different areas

I lost my mum at 69 and yes it did seem way too young but then again she died unnecessarily due to something which never should have happened. her mum ( my grandma) also died at a similar age.

I'm sorry for your loss. It may not seem old, but it isn't young, really.

My mum was 76 and very fit and active. All my GP lived into their 90s and a fair few GGP too so we were expecting her to be with us for many more years but very aggressive cancer and an entirely preventable accident ( which stopped having her treatment and her cancer then took hold ) during her hospital stay, saw to that.. I still haven't quite processed she is gone 9 months later. In my job I see many families dealing with loss. I see an increasing reluctance to accept that life is finite at any age from families.

@InDeoEstMeaFiducia

I'm sorry for your loss. It may not seem old, but it isn't young, really.

I’m sure that’s a great comfort for the OP. Please never consider training to give counselling.

I am sorry for your loss.

In my eyes, late 60's, early 70's is young. I have colleagues in their late 60's and they still have a lot of 'get up and go'.

Death is hard at any stage, however dying in your late 80's or early 90's show you have had a long life.

It is young nowadays and I’m sorry. My parents and DPs have all reached 80 now and are only just seeming properly “elderly” to me.

It is young yes. Mil died at 71 after years of health issues...was a shock anyway. Never a good time. If i get infirm i would be quite happy to die but not as a healthy person.

My mil died at 44 my fil at 76, when I think old I tend to think mid eighties but of course some people are very fit at that age a lot to do with genetics : but people say some stupid things why on earth should you be expecting it at 70 that’s still youngish

My Dad died 19 years ago, 11 days,after his 60th birthday.

Young or old, that’s a shitty thing to say. My aunt is nearly 90, and in poor health, and I’m terrified of losing her. Even though I know it will happens soon, I will still be utterly devastated when it does.

Although, in a more direct answer to your question, no, I would not expect to lose someone at 70.

I’ve recently lost my mum at 66 and feel exactly the same. It’s so young. My dad died at 56 so even worse. It’s funny how people perceive age tho, my sister has had a lot of people
Comparing my mums death to that of elderly grandparents and it really isn’t the same at all. She was so young at heart and unfortunately got breast cancer at 61 and secondaries about 2 years later.

It is young. My dad was 64. It’s shit.

My grandmother was in her late 50s when she died, my grandad was early 60s, my paternal grandad was early 80s and I thought that was extremely old, but now as an adult I realise most people live to be much older than any of them. This was all around 15 years ago and it seemed everyone I knew died young, but then I do live in an area with one of the worst life expectancies in the UK.

Regardless, I think it was very insensitive of your friend to say that to you, but I think 70 is about average, but that's from personal experience and I know it isn't the norm.

My DH was a vibrant and full of life sort of man, he died at 66 having just got his state pension. Far too young. My heart goes out to you all.

My dad was 64 and he was way to young to die in my opinion. I know people die younger and that is more of a tragedy but my dad worked all his life and never got a retirement and he will never meet my son and it just seems so incredibly unfair.

I would have been grateful to have had my father live that long. I was still a child when he died but I’m sure Id think the same as you had mine lived past his 40’s. I know life expectancy is increasing. It’s also important to look at quality of life. Imo it is better to die younger than to live decades suffering in some way. I do not have good health despite being relatively young that I would rather have a good death than linger eternally in pain. Losing someone whatever age is hard. Sorry for you loss.

I agree, my dad died suddenly at 58 which is no age at all.

My grandfather made it to 88 despite abusing his body with paracetomal and alcohol and falling and banging his head on a regular basis. He even lasted 8 years with dementia (diagnosed at least - took us over a year to get his dr to agree to test him when we suspected it). Genuinley thought he wouldn't make it that long due to the abuse of his body and constant illnesses of the man.

It is definitely very surprising.

You're right. In this day and age that is too young. Whilst now young people anymore, it isn't properly old.

This year, 3 of my grandparents have died - all three in their early 90s. Although sad for us as a family to no longer have them around, it is an expected age to go. My family tree has people from many years ago living to proper elderly years despite having hard working lives.

However my FIL died recently of cancer in his early 70s. He was taken too soon. He didn't died of 'old age' - he was taken, before his time, of an illness. Without that illness he was likely to live for several more years. My parents are heading to later 60s and MIL is early to mid 70s. All three should have several more years ahead of them as they are all active and healthy, and simple too young right now.

Bloody hell, I hope so. I was 65 last week!

Seriously though, no-one younger than will reach pension age until 66 or later now, so many will still work between 65-70. It's not old.

My grandparents died between ages 59 to 91. I find it kind of strange to consider that all of them died at a relatively normal age (well 59 is young) and yet there was such a wide range between them.

Sorry for your loss OP

It is young I think. My dad died at only 61 from chronic pneumonia, though we didn't know he was ill. My lovely mum is only 71 and terminally ill.

Yes, too young.

My husband died last year at 64.