To feel 65 to 70 is too young to pass away

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve recently lost my father at the age of 70. I feel he was young to pass away but I’ve been told by others I should have been expecting it any time due to his age. My dad lost his mum at 65 so i suppose it could be genetic.

Both my parents were relatively young when they died. My dad was only 56 ((the age I am now) and my mum 67.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your Dad. 70 is young to die.

I also think it's cruel of people to say that you should expect it after 65. It means that they're belittling your loss. Life expectancy for a man in the UK is over 80 so a death after 80, or possibly even after 78 would still be sad but to be expected but 70 is young.

I'm sorry about your father OP, 70 is quite young especially these days, I completely understand your shock and the unfairness of it.

Grandma died at 67, father at 61 and my mum recently died at 75.

They all went way too soon IMO

I feel too young (43) to be next to go. But I have noone left above me in age now, except my siblings (46 and 48). Can't imagine life without them.

Hope I'm happy, healthy and alive til at least 90.

Mum would have loved to have done more. She had travels and adventures planned.

89 is significantly above the norm. I wouldn't say dying in say your mid 80s was remotely too young ..

I’m sorry for your losses OP.

Life expectancy for men in the UK is 79 and for women 82. So it is on the younger side, but not excessively so. Death is always a shock and always a loss, but none of us get to control how long our loved ones will have.

And while many people enjoy good health and active lives until they are much older, a lot of very elderly people do not have good health, many end up with dementia, or extremely limited mobility. Longer life is not always better life.

My husband didn’t even reach retirement and died at 59 where as my dad had nearly 30 years of retirement and died the year after my husband at 84.
my mum is now 85 and she has declined a lot in the last 2 years. She has been housebound for the last 5 years and lives with me so that I can care for her but I know one morning I am going to go in to her to get her up and she will be gone. And I would rather it be that way than the need to go into hospital lingers for a few weeks and then passes.

@bridgetreilly Life expectancy measured at birth lowers the average. As pp have said, once you get beyond certain points the average jumps.
Realistically if you are already over 60, fit and in good health overall, mid 80s is more like it.

It’s young, but when my best friend found her daughter dead in her bed at just 9 months old or my other friend lost his son at 6 years old, or my youngest daughters friend lost her husband just weeks after they married (he was in his 30’s) or my husband had to bury his first wife when she was in her early 40’s after he’d already buried his first born son who only lived moments it sort of makes it very clear that life is precious, there are no minimum ages and we need to appreciate today, not tomorrow.

genuinely sorry for the loss of your dad, but at least he got to live a good life and leave you as his legacy. 💐

60s is very young. Lost our dad at 76 years of ill health. Bil was under 50 mnd. Tragic.

For those interested: www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/healthandsocialcare/healthandlifeexpectancies/articles/lifeexpectancycalculator/2019-06-07

Blimey. Made a mistake on that life expectancy calculator and it came out at 49. Given that I am now 48, I was a bit taken aback! Anyway, it is actually 87. I hope it won’t be that long, tbh.

Mine’s 87, but given that my mother, grandmother and great grandmother lived to an average of 90.75 years, and mum was 93, it could be a tad longer.

UK actuarial tables show that for 100,000 males in the UK:
By age 25 the number who have died is 1,000
By age 38 the number who have died is 2,000
By age 48 the number who have died is 5,000
By age 61 the number who have died is 10,000
By age 70 the number who have died is 20,000
By age 79 the number who have died is 40,000
By age 83 the number who have died is 50,000
By age 90 the number who have died is 80,000
By age 95 there will be 6,500 still alive, and 383 will make it to 100.

Very young sorry to hear this

Depends on the health/lifestyle and I believe genes of the person.
My poor dad died at 68 having spent his entire retirement with cancer.
While lifespans are rising, 70 is definitely the geriatric category even though individuals can be fit and active.
I'm sorry for your loss.

You can't be right or wrong, OP, there's no right or wrong opinion about what to expect re death of a loved one.

fwiw, I thought my mom & some other relatives were very lucky to make early 60s when they died. They all had a slew of health conditions to manage by then, & high risk factors.

Yet others were "surprised" at their sudden deaths. I could not understand how it wasn't obvious to others the trajectory these women were on. It's not a moral judgement about correctness of when someone died or should die or whether anyone should be upset about it, to expect they do or don't have long.

The times that stunned me were people who died overnight from an undiagnosed tumour, or stood in front of me seemingly glowing with apparent good health saying they just got diagnosed with something awful & have 6 months to live. Never take good times for granted.