To feel 65 to 70 is too young to pass away

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve recently lost my father at the age of 70. I feel he was young to pass away but I’ve been told by others I should have been expecting it any time due to his age. My dad lost his mum at 65 so i suppose it could be genetic.

You would of course hope for people to live longer than that but I know many people who died in their late fifties and early sixties.

Most of them were fit and active until dying suddenly (heart or stroke), or from cancer.

My step dad is 69 and still very active and working full time in a senior corporate role so I’d be very shocked if anything were to happen to him. I do think 65-70 is young but I think it depends a lot on your lifestyle.

My biological dad is only in his 50s and seems to have every health condition going but he has always been overweight and an alcoholic. He’s also a racist arsehole whereas my step dad is the nicest man ever so perhaps it’s karma

DH (70 next week) is busy rebuilding a vintage car, I'd better nip out to the garage and tell him not to bother.....

His parents both lived to mid 90s. Mine died aged 67 and 72, but they lived in poverty growing up. I hope to do better than them, but nothing in life is certain.

I think it's really callous to say 65 or 70 is "enough". Sorry for your loss

I am sorry for your loss.

My grandparents died at 58 and 60, my parents at 42 and 53, my uncle at 55 and my cousin at 30. All of different things and only one was a smoking related cancer and that was before it was properly known/when smoking was more normal. My in laws seem very old to me in their late sixties at the moment but I hope they have many years left. Me, I’ve got masses of life insurance, letters and memory boxes put away for my DC in case I die suddenly, I’m nearly 40 so in my head I’ve not got too long left. I do recognise this is not the norm though.

I was just talking to my husband about this. I know 5 people (including myself) whose lost a parent by the time we had reached their very early 30s. One had lost both mum and stepdad. Parents themselves had been between 20s and 60s when they died.

Very sorry for your loss OP.

Do I think 70 is young to die, in all honesty not really. Doesn’t change what you have lost or the sadness you are entitled to feel- I have had a lot of death in my family ranging from 19yr olds onwards. I’ve seen and felt tragic death, people who literally had their lives robbed from them. I don’t think that is the case for a 70 yr old. Just my
experience/ opinion

Yes. Young. My birth mom died at 29, my adoptive mom at 50. Young deaths suck... Well they all do

My DF was 71 and he only been retired for a few months at 70 before being diagnosed with cancer and up to that point he had been fit and healthy. He only lasted 6 months after the diagnosis. My DF died in 2016 where all the famous people died like David Bowie who were all around dad's age or slightly older/younger so it didn't seem that dad was particularly young however, I'm the first in my group of friends who has lost a parent and most of their parents are similar ages to my DF.

It is young yes. My DF was 68 and I felt it was way too young. My DM is currently a very active 74 year old so hopefully she had many more years ahead. I think 80+ not so much a shock. Sorry for your loss

Didn't finish my post! I think 70 is very young, but it worries me how many people I've known to die before that age, my own mother fell seriously ill when younger sibling was still a teen and I'm terrified it's genetic. Or I could be like my father, who's still alive in his 70s, despite a valiant effort of destroying his health with alcohol and smoking for decades.

People say a lot of dumb shit in response to bereavement
This is so true. My Dad died when he was 74 and a colleague said to me something along the lines of he had a good innings, I wanted to say to her but didn’t (I would now), no he didn’t, he should still be here. Almost as if they hear the age and it’s dismissed as they’re old so it doesn’t matter so much 😔 I’m very sorry for your loss

My parents died at 52 and 56....4 months apart...i was 26 years old....im now 46 and most of my friends still have both parents alive...its really hard not to be bitter.

My Mum died at 67 she was in no way old.

Being as we’re working till 67 it’s way too young, unless many underlying health conditions are the cause. I’m 57 and sincerely hope I’ve got more than 8-13 years left!!

Yes definitely young in this day and age. Sorry for your loss.

I am very sorry for your loss. I agree with you that it is a young age nowadays.

I'm sorry for your loss OP, I hope you're doing ok. The people who said you should have been expecting it are dicks.

These days I'd call 70 pretty young, yes - I'm sorry to hear about your parents. My grandma died at 68 and my grandfather not until he was 93.

Far too young as plenty on 70 year olds are still working

It's awful to think of someone who doesn't get a retirement

My parents died at 65 and 57. More lifestyle than genetics hopefully. Otherwise I am screwed!

The insensitivity of anyone trying to play grief top trumps is horrible OP. I am sorry for your loss. Ignore hurtful comments. Your bereavement is no less than anyone else's, regardless of the circumstances.

I'm really sorry for your loss, 70 is definitely "too young"....

My nephew passed away suddenly at age 24 (4 or 5 years ago now), and a neighbour at 54 - until then I hadn't realised just how common it was for people to pass at any age as adults suddenly.... DH and I have now done a little "living for the moment"

It is young, yes. My dad was 75 and we were expecting it (Parkinsons). My mum was 78 and again, we were expecting it. But 70 is young.

Then again my husband was 58 and that was also not unexpected - he was an alcoholic, and alcohol causes heart disease.

It is young, yes. Anything under 89

I think there is a difference between "young" and "too young".

I don't think 70 is young but I do agree it's young to die. (In the developed world)